In, out, shake it all about ... how on earth are mere mortals supposed to keep on top of food advice these days?
We all joke about health experts warning that it’s vitally important to eat one type of food, and another to then tell us to completely avoid exactly the same food a few days later. But it really isn't funny at all.
Take for example ultra processed foods, they were said to be contributing to early deaths according to research published this month. Today we hear that actually, some aren't too bad and in fact some might even be good for us.
Yes, yet another massive u-turn in a world where we are bombarded by adverts encouraging us to feast on things that are clearly not going to keep us healthy.
When did you last see a BOGOF offer on apples and oranges?
Have you ever spotted fruit cunningly placed at children's eye-level at check-outs?
It certainly feels that we’ve been conditioned to eat things that make billionaires richer, rather than eat foods which we need. Imagine if all food and drink adverts were created with the sole focus of pushing diets that keep us in tip-top shape and less of a drain on the NHS. No chance that would ever catch on when profits of vast industries depend on us putting their welfare ahead of our own.
What if we talk about an old favourite, coffee!
I love a good coffee, as do many of us. It’s hard to imagine what we did before every High Street hosted dozens of cafes tempting us to spend extortionate amounts on drinks which cost just a few pence to make.
I'm fairly well informed - admittedly thanks more to my job than an extraordinary drive to do what is best for me - but my head is in a spin.
That isn't due to too much caffeine today but rather the ridiculous amount of advice on whether coffee is good for us or the devil incarnate of warm drinks.
I don't take sugar in my drinks but I have on occasion treated myself to one of the heavily promoted autumn drinks. You know the ones - gingerbread lovely latte or mocha wocha pocha injected with syrups before being piled high with cream and having extra additives and sweeteners lovingly sprinkled on top.
Well, holy smoke, it turns out I could have eaten THREE sugar glazed doughnuts in place of just one of the drinks, and still consumed less sugar.
I can't help reflecting on the cereals which we feed our children for breakfast, thinking we've set them up for the day when we could have given them a chocolate bar instead and they'd have received more nutrients.
We all need a treat from time-to-time but let's not fool ourselves that we are doing anything other than falling for the tricks of the food industry, an industry which doesn't care one hoot about our health ... as long as we keep boosting their bank balances.
As for our poor health service, what chance does it stand in the face of that?