Why do populists have the same dreadful hairstyle?

Shane Croucher
Geert Wilders, Dutch MP

There's a spectre hanging over the world; the spectre of a terrible hairstyle.

Every populist and demagogue worth getting to sign your copy of Mein Kampf has a cloud of vanilla candy floss all up on their skulls.

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Maybe they all go to the same demonic barber. Or maybe they all ask their barber for the same thing: please kill an entire family of ferrets, skin them, bleach their furs, and staple the dead rugs to my head. Oh, and a little off the sides too, please.

Donald Trump, Geert Wilders, Julian Assange, and Milo Yiannopoulos are like the Four Horseman of the Hairpocalypse.

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If this is what the future looks like – legions of smug men parading around with custard coiffures – then come friendly alopecia above my brow, it isn't fit for hairstyles now.

Can it be too long before Nigel Farage cracks open a fresh bottle of peroxide and a can of Wella mousse?

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