Why it's time to embrace stretch marks

I am riddled with stretch marks. I’m not talking a few silvery little whispers, here. Riddled. In the final fortnight of my pregnancy my stomach looked like it had been savaged by an angry leopard, criss-crossed with a fiery network of forked lines. Now, five years later, it’s often wrinkled, puckered, loose.

It’s what happens when you pack a 7lb 9oz baby and enough amniotic fluid to flood a studio flat into a 27inch waist. “When skin gets stretched extensively in a short amount of time, the connective tissue deep inside the skin will often tear,” explains skincare expert, Debbie Thomas, “These tears allow the deeper skin layers to show through.”

And before you say it, I did use the oils. I’m a beauty editor, which means I get a lot of oils for free, of course. I used the oils! In fact it became almost ritualistic; pouring and slopping and rubbing, twice a day, like I was basting a bloated turkey. I was permanently slippery, I ruined a pair of sheepskin slippers and a rug, and there were mysterious wet patches on all my clothes, which at least prepared me well for motherhood.

Despite the fact it made me want to throw up, I kneaded my stomach, boobs and hips from the minute I found out I was expecting at 4 weeks until the stretch marks got so bad they bled. Then I gave birth and was lucky if I managed a shower. I’ve got a road map on my stomach; the oils didn’t work. The oils don’t work, says cosmetic physician, Dr Sarah Tonks. “There is weak evidence for almond oil and hyaluronic acid creams preventing stretch marks, and no evidence for cocoa butter or olive oil. A topical cream doesn’t really have an effect on the skin cells. If it did then it would probably be classified as a medicine, and not so easy to get a hold of!”

See?! And I knew they wouldn’t work, but I let hype overrule my understanding of how the skin works. Especially my mum, who was convinced it was Johnson’s Baby Oil that stopped her gargantuan bump (AKA me) leaving her striped. But why did I get so many stretch marks, when she didn’t get a single one?

“In general, stretch marks are determined by genetics - the basic structure of our own DNA – but also by the rate of growth,” says dermatologist Dr Frances Prenna Jones. Many experience stretch marks in their teens as they grow – especially across the thighs and breasts - others when they gain weight. And then in pregnancy, there are also hormones at play, says Dr Tonks: “Firstly, you should produce the hormone relaxin when pregnant, which allows the tissue to stretch, and low levels of relaxin are associated with a higher number of stretch marks.

Studies also show more estrogen, androgen and glucocorticoid receptors in tissue with stretch marks than those without, and all these have an impact on elastic fibres and collagen fibrils. But you also produce more glucocorticoid hormones during pregnancy which inhibits repair of these collagen fibrils.” So I was just unlucky.

But I am not bothered enough to do anything about this puckered skin, despite the deluge of products available to apparently diminish the scars. Plus, there’s the small matter than of course a topical product cannot knit the dermis back together. “No treatment, whether topical or minimal-invasive can 100% get rid of stretch marks,” says dermatologist Dr Stefanie Williams, “Even clinical treatments will only improve the appearance of them.”

There’s a kind of peace that comes with knowing there’s nothing you can do. I’m still not wearing my stretch marks with pride, exactly. I am proud of my body for surviving pregnancy, of course, but I don’t need these battle wounds to remind me – I have an alarm set on my phone to remind me to pick my daughter up from school, in case I should forget I have one.

What makes me angry is that I – like most women - felt the pressure to slather oils on to fight the onslaught of an imperfect midriff. Brands are inadvertently saying, stretch marks are bad, AND that we should give a damn about preventing them. What will become of us if our skin doesn’t stay flawless, if we’re riddled with unsightly marks?!

I was having a hard enough time trying not to puke on my swollen feet, and afterwards? The thought of getting a spot of laser in between my newborn’s up-the-back sh•t explosions didn’t occur.

Eventually I braved a midriff selfie on Instagram in a narcissistic attempt to prove to myself that I didn’t care. Of course the feedback was warm – nobody wanted me to feel insecure, they wanted me to celebrate my body so they could celebrate theirs. A lot of people have them. It’s not a big deal. Maybe I’ll even get a bikini this summer. Maybe.

You can’t prevent them but keeping your skin well-conditioned will bolster it, of course, and will feel nice. “I recommend keeping the skin well hydrated with an emollient as supple skin may be better able to withstand stretching and shearing forces,” says Kiehl’s Consulting Dermatologist Alexis Granite.

I’d still dump the oils - a messy business that made me feel sick - and instead enjoy using Aveda Cleansing Oil £22 in the shower. A rich oil-infused crème cleanser, it maintains skin’s moisture barrier, and its citrus scent is comforting. And if you do despair at your own stretch marks, studies suggest some success with PRP and carboxytherapy after pregnancy, says Dr Tonks. “I combine PRP, carboxytherapy and Intracel. But results will be modest even in the best case scenarios. Stretch marks never go away, only diminish.”