Wife walked out on husband for visiting food bank while earning £155k salary

The woman walked out on her husband over his 'frugality' (STOCK IMAGE)
-Credit: (Image: Getty Images/iStockphoto)


A woman walked out on her husband after becoming disgusted with her his penny-pinching. The final straw for the "exhausted" wife was her partner of 17 years repeatedly using food banks for free food - despite a household income of more than £155,000.

She said that their relationship has been "great" for the most part, though they have had their "rough patches" like any couple. But finances continue to be a sticking point for the pair.

The woman is a part-time teacher, which she combines with studying at university, so earns less than her husband. But she has a generous trust fund, which helps ensure the couple are financially stable.

Despite her contributions, the husband "controls [her] spending" - even though most of her earnings go to her tuition fees and she doesn't use his income to buy anything specifically for her.

And this "frugality" reached new levels after the husband started heading to food banks in order to pick up free meals. This is despite them living in a poorer area, where their household income is four times the average.

The skinflint husband even dresses down to look more like struggling locals when he goes to pick up the freebies - and he refuses to stop going, despite his wife's pleas and the fact that much of the food he collects ends up wasted at home.

Taking to Reddit's Am I The A*****e forum, the woman wrote: "I’ve been in a committed relationship with my husband for 17 years, and overall, things have been great. We’ve had a few rough patches, but what’s important to note is that while he earns more than me and is considered the main provider, I have a substantial trust fund that ensures we’re financially stable.

"I work part-time as a teacher while attending university, earning less than him, and most of my income goes towards tuition. Our household income exceeds $200k (£155k) annually, while the average in our area is below $50k (£40k).

"One ongoing issue we have is my husband’s frugality. He likes to control my spending and have the final say on how he uses his earnings. It’s worth mentioning that I’ve never used any of his income and have no intention to do so.

"However, the main point of contention between us is his frequent visits to food banks. Despite having more than enough food at home, he insists on going to food banks to save money.

"He intentionally looks disheveled and uses our beat-up car to blend in, even though he’s never experienced food scarcity. I’ve explained to him the need for food donations in our community, even showing him social media posts from local food banks, but he remains indifferent.

The penny-pinching husband dresses down to collect free meals from food banks (STOCK IMAGE)
The penny-pinching husband dresses down to collect free meals from food banks (STOCK IMAGE) -Credit:Getty Images/iStockphoto

"I suggested he volunteer or donate to gain firsthand experience, but he refuses. The unfortunate part is that since we’re never short on food, most of what he brings home ends up getting thrown away."

The final straw for the wife came when she came home to a fully-stocked fridge, which her miserly husband had collected after seeing a Facebook post about a food donation. She showed her partner online comments from struggling locals who had been unable to pick up any food - and his callous comment about the unlucky souls convinced her it was time to take a break.

She continued: "Today, I discovered our fridge filled with fresh produce and meat that clearly didn’t come from our regular grocery store. When I confronted him, he admitted to going to a food bank after seeing a Facebook post about a donation of fresh food.

"People on social media were already asking if any was left, and there wasn’t. I showed him these comments, but he brushed them off, claiming people should have gone earlier. Exhausted by the situation, I packed a bag and went to stay with my brother for the weekend, asking for space to think things over.

"My husband accuses me of overreacting, being vindictive, and threatens to go back to the food banks regardless of my feelings. His family is also messaging me, calling me an a*****e and urging me to stop interfering with his choices. I turned off my phone, but now they’re bombarding my brother with messages. Thankfully, he supports my decision and ignores them.

"All I want is to enjoy the rest of my week without being angry at my husband. Yes, I could let this go and not scold him, but the food he takes could have gone to people who truly need it. I’m not leaving my husband, but I need a few days away to gain some clarity. Am I wrong for wanting this space?"

Her post attracted 25,000 upvotes on Reddit and around 750 comments, with the vast majority telling the wife she was not wrong to walk away - and many suggesting she make it a permanent move out of her husband's life.

One user replied: "This is completely unhinged. A man making 200k while married to a woman with a trust fund going to a food bank is unacceptable. You are absolutely not wrong to want space. I would want permanent space."

The final straw was when the wife came home to a fully-stocked fridge (STOCK IMAGE)
The final straw was when the wife came home to a fully-stocked fridge (STOCK IMAGE) -Credit:Getty Images/iStockphoto

Another added: "Your husband is stealing from people that are less fortunate. I’m frugal, too, and I like to save money where I can. I use coupons, buy store brand vs name brand for some products, etc. What your husband is doing isn’t frugality, it’s being a shitty person."

A third said: "I cannot conceive the level of entitlement here. That food is designated for people who literally cannot afford to fill their bellies and the bellies of their families. It makes me sick to think of someone dressing in dirty clothes and conning food out of the bellies of people that genuinely need it. YOU ARE MARRIED TO A CON MAN. How does he not see how disgusting this is?"

A number of users also raised concerns about the husband controlling the wife's finances. One commented: "Why the f**k have you spent close to two decades with someone who tries to control your spending and literally steals from people who can’t afford groceries?"

They added: "Please, oh my God, divorce him yesterday." Another user went against the grain and said the woman WAS at fault - but only because she is not leaving her husband for good.

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