What I wish I could tell my boss: 'Your lack of humanity made me sick'

At first I thought you were harmless. A middle-aged restaurant manager who liked to hire young girls for something to leer at during a hectic dinner shift. Not planning to stay for long, I knew I could put up with the odd inappropriate comment.

But when a busy summer turned into a slow autumn, with profits nose-diving, a rage and bitterness surfaced with a vengeance that none of us expected. You were perpetually angry, setting impossible targets and shouting when, of course, we failed to meet them.

There was one particular day when we all felt the brunt of your mood swings. The restaurant was heaving, there was a queue snaking out the door, and we were running out of everything. We were clearly at capacity but you kept bringing in customers, barking at us to move tables on so that you could make more money. When one of the new girls made a mistake with an order, you screamed at her and roared to the assistant manager, “get her out of my face”. I later found her in tears in the bathroom.

You spent the shift harassing the kitchen, goading the head chef until he threw his apron on the floor and stormed out. When a new member of staff dropped a glass, spraying shards into her eye, you pushed her back to her tables. It was only a bit of glass, you said, so stop making a fuss.

You successfully reduced a quarter of your workforce to tears and fury in a matter of hours. How could you treat your staff like that? Clearly that fat Christmas bonus was worth more to you than basic kindness. Your lack of humanity made me feel sick.

Your poor behaviour continued. There was the time it emerged you’d been sleeping with the assistant manager and your wife stormed into the restaurant screaming. Another incident when your hand “accidentally” brushed against my bum. And the inappropriate comments about how I should put on more makeup and a tighter top to make more tips.

Every time stock was low in the restaurant, you would punish us with little or no staff food, but still order yourself the best dish on the menu. Do you really think that we had no idea you were helping yourself to supplies?

We conspired for hours about how best to report you, but we were worried that it would jeopardise our jobs. In the end it was futile – the area manager happened to be your friend and it was obvious that he wouldn’t take us seriously.

I dreamed for hours about the letter I would write to you once I resigned, about how I would tell you how despicable a person you are. I would detail every single one of your cruelties to head office and watch as you faced the accusations. But you left before I could hand in my notice and I never had the satisfaction.

Despite everything, I do have one last thing to say: thank you. I am a manager in a new job now and I ensure that I treat my employees like humans. I encourage them and motivate them, and I hold my responsibility with care. Thanks to you I know how low a person can sink and I will do everything to ensure that I never become as manipulative as you.

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