Woman, 23, hits out after she's called 's**g' and abused by men for her brave disclosure

A woman with genital herpes has hit out at the men who have slut-shamed and ghosted her after she bravely disclosed she had the condition on her dating app profile.

Victoria Jones was diagnosed with herpes in April 2020 after catching it from someone she dated, leaving her fearing if she'd ever find another boyfriend due to the 'stigma' of it.

The 23-year-old admits she now finds the dating world hard to navigate, racking up fewer matches and frequently being ghosted and even branded a 'sl*g' after declaring her status publicly.

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Attempting to 'weed the good from the bad', Victoria decided to mention she has herpes on her dating profile but claims she was forced to remove it after users stopped matching with her.

She's now sharing her status in a bid to smash the stigma around herpes and wants to educate others as well as inspire women to embrace the disease and not be ashamed of it.

Victoria, from Manchester, said: "Being single and dating with herpes is hard. I've been ghosted, I've been called a sl*g. People are not very nice about it.

"Putting it on my profile didn't go down very well. It wasn't the positive experience I wanted it to be. I got about two matches in two weeks whereas before I would probably get about ten a day. Nobody was swiping at all.

"I got some nasty comments. One person said 'I just thought you were joking. I didn't think you actually had herpes. Are you being serious?'.

"Then he just unmatched me. I'm not going to just put that on my profile and lie about it. The people that did swipe right were people I wouldn't really sway towards. It's a shame, I did have to take it off which I didn't want to.

"I thought it would be such a positive thing but it turned into something so negative which made me feel bad about myself. Dating apps could do more to normalise it. There are tabs about your height and whether you smoke or drink.

"Having one like that where you have to say yes or no to whether you are open to dating someone with an STI would be a good way to go forward."

Victoria revealed it's 'horrendous' disclosing her condition to dates as she fears rejection. She said: "It's horrendous, you don't know how they're going to react. It's really horrible.

"I think 'are they going to accept me? Are they going to think I'm someone I'm not?'. I don't want it to get in the way of meeting someone. When you say the word 'herpes' people just completely back off, they treat you differently.

"I had a date planned and he just completely switched off and ghosted me. I don't deserve to be treated like that.

"I do want people to be educated but it's okay to say, 'no, I don't want to catch it' or, 'that's something I'm not comfortable with'. The problem is when people back off completely and don't give you an explanation why.

"When you do have a bad experience, like I have in the past, it knocks you so much. It makes you feel like you don't deserve to be with someone. I've had some really good disclosures recently of telling people and they've been so accepting. It does weed the good from the bad."

'It was the worst day of my life'

Having used contraception and regularly undergoing STI testing, Victoria was shocked to discover she had contracted the condition during a routine check-up in 2020.

Victoria said: "It was the worst day of my entire life. That instant word where you think 'can I die from this?'.

"I went into the toilets and I just cried, I thought no one would ever want to be with me again. I always use protection and get tested straight away. It freaks me out the thought of getting anything, you can even get it with a condom on.

"The hardest thing is that some people don't even know they have it, you could be asymptomatic and not have any outbreaks. The tests are not always right, it's so hard to know if you actually have it."

The singleton revealed that while she initially 'beat herself up about' catching the disease, she now wants to educate others as well as inspire women to embrace the disease and not be ashamed of it.

Victoria said: "In my videos I've always said 'you don't understand the circumstances of how someone has got herpes'. It doesn't mean you're a sl*g because you've got it.

"I feel like it's a misconception of people thinking you sleep around all the time. It's really not the case, it's just unfortunate.

"When I first got diagnosed I didn't have that person to watch their videos or accept it. You really beat yourself up about it, you blame yourself.

"I would only say in the past six months I've been more accepting of it and trying to spread more awareness. It's just about education, it would be nice if people just knew more about it."

Victoria shares experiences on TikTok in a bid to normalise the condition and educate people about it. One clip captioned 'I have herpes and I'm not ashamed' has gone viral, racking up one million views. In the clip, Victoria tearfully urges her followers to 'just be kind' and to educate themselves more about the condition.

In another clip she explains her decision to change her dating profile to help with the 'overwhelming' dread of disclosing her condition to potential partners.

Many praised Victoria for being 'brave and real' for opening up and agreed that the disease is 'nothing to be ashamed of'.

One user wrote: "It's so common and nothing to be ashamed of." Another commented: "You're so brave and real for this."

A third wrote: "Same here I've had it thrown back in my face." A fourth user commented: "So many people have it and don't even know."