Woman, 23, who spent years hiding who she really is 'finally happy'

A woman has said people “still don’t understand” her when she tells them who she is. Hannah, from Wirral, said from a young age she “knew and felt” something was different.

The 23-year-old, who grew up in Bebington, is bisexual and despite figures showing we are living in a more-queer-than-ever UK, she still finds it “hard” to tell others.

The teaching assistant told the ECHO: “Looking back, even when I was five or six, I knew it about myself. As I got older, I was told and taught that it wasn’t a ‘good thing’ to be bisexual and so I oppressed it. Being bisexual was something to be used as an insult day-to-day at school. It was something to be laughed at. It was derogatory to be.

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“I was accepted, but it was never embraced or talked about. I was always asked about my boyfriend or told about ‘when I get a husband’. The message was clear that this wasn’t the normal thing, liking girls. It was very confusing for me. When I was a kid there was no one out there representing people like me, so not seeing any examples, made it hard.”

Hannah isn’t alone in her feelings about her experience of being bisexual at school. Just Like Us’ 2023 report Positive Futures found bisexual and pansexual young people were among the most likely to have been bullied at school (73%). The only LGBT+ identities more likely to have experienced bullying at school were trans and non-binary young people.

The report also found that 39% of bisexual and pansexual young people “rarely” or “never” feel good about themselves, and four in five said they had experienced suicidal thoughts.

Hannah explained how it wasn’t until she went to Bristol University and saw others being openly queer that she grew to accept the part of her she tried to hide for years. The Spanish and politics graduate said: “I spent years trying to convince myself that this was something I’m not. I just wanted to fit in. But it’s finally something I’m happy and comfortable with within myself.

“It’s hard even still though because some people still don’t really get or understand what I am when I tell them. I came out of a long-term relationship with a boy and people assume I’m then straight. People don’t fully know what it is."

Laura Mackay, chief executive of Just Like Us, the LGBT+ young people’s charity, said it is a “crucial time” to shine the light on the experiences of bisexual people, including Hannah.

She added: “We need to celebrate them and raise awareness of, and commit to combatting biphobia. Some of the bisexual young people we work with tell us that they can feel excluded, even within the LGBT+ community, because of bi-erasure, and this can have a significant impact on their wellbeing.

“It is absolutely essential we raise awareness, listen to bisexual voices, challenge stigmas, and ensure that bisexual young people feel fully seen, supported, and celebrated every week of the year."