31 Hilarious Chandler Bing Quotes From Friends

Heidi Venable

17 April 2024 at 11:00 am

“And I Just Want A Million Dollars!” - The One Where Monica Gets A Roommate

“Dear God! This Parachute Is A Knapsack!” - The One With The Birth

“I Can Handle It. ‘Handle’ Is My Middle Name. Actually It’s The Middle Part Of My First Name” - The One Without The Ski Trip

“Shut Up! Shut Up! Shut Up!” - The One With The Cop

“The Fifth Dentist Caved And Now They’re All Recommending Trident?” - The One With All The Poker

“My Apartment Isn’t There Anymore, Because I Drank It” - The One Where Chandler Can’t Remember Which Sister

“I Took The Quiz, And It Turns Out I Do Put Career Before Men” - The One Where No One’s Ready

“No, Interestingly Enough, Her Leafblower Picked Up” - The One With The Evil Orthodontist

“She’s Right, If I Were A Guy … Did I Just Say, ‘If I Were A Guy’?” - The One Where Rachel’s Sister Babysits

“It Kills Over One Americans Every Year” - The One With The Memorial Service

“I’m Not Great At The Advice. Can I Interest You In A Sarcastic Comment?” - The One With The Tea Leaves

“You Have To Stop The Q-Tip When There’s Resistance” - The One With Ross’s New Girlfriend

“Woop-ah!” - The One With All The Wedding Dresses

“Hi, I’m Chandler. I Make Jokes When I’m Uncomfortable” - The One With The Proposal: Part 1

“Nice Camouflage, Man. For A Minute There I Almost Didn’t See You” - The One After The Super Bowl: Part 2

“Someone On The Subway Licked My Neck. Licked My Neck!” - The One With The Engagement Picture

“I’m Hopeless And Awkward And Desperate For Love!” - The One With The Metaphorical Tunnel

“If I Don’t Input Those Numbers… It Doesn’t Make Much Of A Difference” - The One Where Monica Gets A Roommate

“What’s Wrong With Me? Ooh, Don’t Open That Door” - The One With The Vows

“His Legs Flail About As If Independent From His Body!” - The One With The Embryos

“Gum Would Be Perfection” - The One With The Blackout

“Gym Member. I Try To Go Four Times A Week, But I’ve Missed The Last 1,200 Times” - The One With The Ballroom Dancing

“How Do You Find Clothes That Fit?” - The One Where Old Yeller Dies

“You’re Gonna Carry Their Child And Get Them A Sony PlayStation?” - The One With Phoebe’s Uterus

“So Great Things Are Happening At Work And Your Personal Life!” - The One With Joey’s New Brain

“If You’re Not Careful, You May Not Get Married At All This Year.” - The One With The Proposal: Part 1

“Dehydrated Japanese Noodles Under Fluorescent Lights… Does It Get Better Than This?” - The One Where Nana Dies Twice

“And Yet I Never Run Into Beyoncé” - The One Where Estelle Dies

“Oh Man, In My Next Life I’m Coming Back As A Toilet Brush” - The One With The Candy Hearts

“Cheese — It’s Milk That You Chew” - The One Where Rachel Goes Back To Work

“And I Just Realized I Can Sleep With My Eyes Open” - The One Where Phoebe Runs

Could this list BE any funnier?

Friends has gone down in history as one of the most beloved sitcoms of all time, even decades after it aired its final episode on NBC. Each member of the main cast — Jennifer Aniston, Courteney Cox, Lisa Kudrow, Matt LeBlanc, Matthew Perry, and David Schwimmer — brought a specific quality to their characters, but it was Perry as Chandler Bing who was often given the wittiest one-liners and snappiest comebacks. Let’s take a look back at some of the most hilarious Chandler Bing quotes from Friends.

Max

Matthew Perry regularly delivered some of Friends' funniest lines. Here are some of Chandler Bing's most hilarious quotes.

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