32 Great Insults From The Golden Girls

Christina Izzo

23 April 2024 at 9:00 pm

Blanche, Dorothy, Rose, and Sophia had plenty of sassy one-liners.

Jealousy is a very ugly thing, Dorothy. And so are you in anything backless! - Sophia

Can I ask a dumb question? - Rose. Better than anyone I know. - Dorothy

My mistake. I thought since you look like Yoda you were also wise. - Blanche

Dirk's nearly five years younger than I am. - Blanche. In what, Blanche, dog years? - Dorothy

I think there’s a connection between your brain and wallpaper paste. - Sophia

Oh, blow it out your Tubenburbles! - Rose

I have a date. - Dorothy. With a man? - Blanche. No, Blanche, with a Venus fly trap! - Dorothy

Go to sleep, sweetheart. Pray for brains. - Dorothy

No matter how bad things get, remember these sage words: You're old, you sag, get over it. - Sophia

Honey, that phony hair color won't wash out just because you got caught in the rain! - Blanche

Stanley, you’re one chromosome away from being a potato. - Dorothy

I know you don't get many dates, Dorothy, but stick with what you know. - Sophia

Rose, you must be confused. You come to me if you have problems with a man. You go to Dorothy if there's some grammar you need help with. - Blanche

Why don't you just tell him that you don't know who he is? - Dorothy. And hurt an old friend? Boy, Dorothy, no wonder nobody likes you. - Rose

May you put your dentures in upside down and chew your head off. - Sophia

You'll have to excuse my mother. She suffered a slight stroke a few years ago, which rendered her totally annoying. - Dorothy

Blanche, if your 21st birthday was 20 years ago, you'd only be 41 years old. - Rose. That's right! - Blanche. Gee, you look terrible for your age. - Rose

The woman keeps a chicken in her home, how normal can she be? - Dorothy. I kept a chicken in my home! - Rose. You see my point? - Dorothy

You're a furry little gnome, and we feed you too much! - Dorothy

Rose, you're bringing down the curve for the whole country. - Dorothy

You're not going to eat them, are you? - Rose. No, Rose. We're going to go to some dumb country and try to use them as money. - Dorothy

Oh Dorothy, a man called for you while you were out. - Rose. Finally, now we can break out that bottle of champagne we've been saving! - Sophia

I'm just so embarrassed to be seen in this old thing. - Blanche. Don't worry Blanche, the dress covers most of it. - Sophia

Rose, have I given you any indication at all that I care? - Sophia

I have to confess, I dabbled a little in poetry writing in high school - Dorothy. That's nothing to be ashamed of! A lot of tall girls who couldn't get dates wrote poetry in high school. - Rose

Terrific little figure, gorgeous hair, perfect skin. Just like looking in a mirror. - Blanche. Get some Windex! - Sophia

Ned was sort of the town idiot. - Rose. When? On your days off? - Sophia

But of course, my heroine doesn't look like you. This is a romantic novel, not science-fiction. - Blanche

Well, I'm here if you want to pick my brain. - Rose. Rose, honey. Maybe we should leave it alone and let it heal. - Dorothy

Must you always be so cheerful, you empty-headed Mary Poppins knockoff? - Blanche

Strictly hypothetical, let's say a man wants to take you out on a date. - Sophia. Why is that hypothetical? - Dorothy. Check your calendar! - Sophia

Get back here, you deceitful little Sicilian gecko! - Dorothy

Blanche, Dorothy, Rose, and Sophia had plenty of sassy one-liners.

The Golden Girls is the television equivalent of comfort food (even Deadpool loves the show), but just because the classic NBC sitcom offers up plenty of "Thank You For Being a Friend" sweetness doesn't mean it's without spice. Our core four of Blanche Devereaux (Rue McClanahan), Dorothy Zbornak (Bea Arthur), Rose Nylund (Betty White) and Sophia Petrillo (Estelle Getty) were known to loveably fling around funny insults at each other throughout the show's seven seasons (though the actresses' real-life dynamic was reportedly more complicated). Here are some of our favorites.

NBC/NBCU Photo Bank

Blanche, Dorothy, Rose, and Sophia had plenty of sassy one-liners throughout The Golden Girls' seven seasons. Here's our list of the funniest.

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