31 Of Ted Lasso's Funniest Lines

Riley Utley

21 June 2024 at 11:00 am

You better "Believe" these lines are hysterical.

“If that’s a joke, I love it. If not, can’t wait to unpack that with you later.” - Ted Lasso

“I never know how to react when a grown man beatboxes in front of me.” - Keeley Jones

“I always thought tea was going to taste like hot brown water. And do you know what? I was right. It’s horrible.” - Ted Lasso

“I never know how to react when a grown man does the Carlton in front of me.” - Roy Kent

“It's just a group of people who care, Roy. Not unlike folks at a hip-hop concert whose hands are not in the air.” - Ted Lasso

“I forget how skittish elderly people could be 'cause of the war.” - Jamie Tartt

"I believe in Communism. Rom-communism, that is. If Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan can go through some heartfelt struggles and still end up happy, then so can we." - Ted Lasso

“Coach, I’m me. Why would I want to be anything else?” - Jamie Tartt

“Coach, I got a feeling we’re not in Kansas anymore. Hey, I’ve never said that while not in Kansas before.” - Ted Lasso

“I would like to see a tulip…No, no, just one tulip. An entire field would be incredibly overwhelming.” - Dani Rojas

"Well, yeah, you got Ronaldo and the fellow who bends it like himself." - Ted Lasso

“Does my face look like it’s in the mood for shape-based jokes?” - Roy Kent

“I need to reapply my lip liner. Men don’t know what that means and women understand it requires time and focus.” - Rebecca Welton

“I told you, my lips are sensitive to impure metals and whistles give me mouth hives.” - Roy Kent

“Remember, it’s just poop-eh. Let it flow.” - Jamie Tartt

“This isn’t black. This is dark heather charcoal.” - Roy Kent

"One more person says something that me and Beard don't understand, I'm gonna have one of my son's classic temper tantrums.” - Ted Lasso

“Howdy, y’all cowboys. My name is Ted Lasso and I’m from Kansas. Pow! Pow! Pow!” - Roy Kent

"Well, fellas, if you're looking for a pep talk from me, you're in trouble. 'Cause I'm like Michael Flatley at 11:59 p.m. on St. Patrick's Day, I'm tapped out." - Ted Lasso

"I do. But more importantly, I think they need to believe in themselves. You know?" - Ted Lasso

“Oh, god. Did we really make Michael Jordan cry?” - Rebecca Welton

"I always feel so bad for the cows, but you gotta do it; otherwise, they get lost. That was a branding joke. If we were in Kansas right now, I'd just be sitting here waiting for you to finish laughing." - Ted Lasso

“Old people are so wise. They're like tall Yodas.” - Jamie Tartt

“Hi. Keeley Jones, The Independent Woman.” - Keeley Jones

"You beating yourself up is like Woody Allen playing the clarinet. I don't wanna hear it. All right?" - Ted Lasso

“You got the boot from putting boots in the boot.” - Coach Beard

“That Rebecca is an intimidating, very tall woman. I mean, the minute she locked eyes with me, I started sweating.” - Keeley Jones

You better "Believe" these lines are hysterical.

Masterminded by SNL alum and comedy legend Jason Sudeikis, Ted Lasso proved itself as a one-of-a-kind comedy over the course of its three seasons. The characters all had their own senses of humor, and the beating heart of the show revolved around the titular character’s optimism and unique outlook on life. When you mix all of that together you end up with an endless list of wonderfully funny quotes from the show, however, today we’re only going to go through some of them.

Apple TV+

Here are some of the funniest lines from Ted Lasso.

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