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27 Wedding Crashers Quotes That Still Make Me Laugh

Eric Eisenberg

29 June 2024 at 8:00 pm

Several years after it was released, it's still hilarious.

“You shut your mouth when you’re talking to me!”

“We lost a lot of good men out there.” “Playing for the Yankees?”

“He lived with mother until he was 40! She tried to poison his oatmeal!”

“I happen to know everything there is to know about maple syrup. I love maple syrup. I love maple syrup on pancakes; I love it on pizza. I love to take a little bit and put it in my hair when I’ve had a rough week. What do you think holds it up, slick?”

“Grow up, Peter Pan! Count Chocula!”

“Whatever! Make me a bicycle, clown!”

“I always knew my first time would be on a beach!”

“I don’t think you’re appreciating the urgency here. Not only is she a virgin, she’s totally off the reservation! I’m terrified of this broad”

“Oh please. You and I both know I’m a phenomenal dancer. Now I know you’re lying through your teeth. You’ll do anything to get me to go on this thing. Even if I have to walk into the lion’s den.”

“She took me below deck for forty-five minutes. I have no bodily fluids left in me.”

“I’m not even going to say it, but you know I’m upset.”

“That’s what we call a sack lunch! Nomnomnomnomnom.”

“Yeah! Crabcakes and Football. That's what Maryland does!”

“If I had any air in my lungs, I’d scream at you.”

“Gloria, please. I'm exhausted. I've had a very long day... my leg's cut and bleeding. I'm really not in the mood for this.”

“Don’t ever leave me. Because I’d find you!”

“Pervert!”

“Hey, what were they like anyway? They looked pretty good, are they real? Are they built for speed or comfort? What'd you do with them? Motorboat? You play the motorboat?”

“I’m a little too traumatized to have a scone.”

“I'm gonna go see Dr. Finklestein and I'm gonna tell him we have a whole new bag of issues. We can forget about mom for a while.”

“I mean like, hunt a human being right now, ‘Most Dangerous Game.’ Like a worthy adversary. Not a human being that's armed, but a clever, clever, human being who knows the jungle. Or the woods.”

“I hope you flip your bike over and knock your two front teeth out! You leave me in the trenches taking grenades, John!”

“Maybe there's something about me that I'm a little cuckoo. I know it's a surprise, I know it's not on the surface. I mean, I had an imaginary friend when I was kid, and his name was Shiloh! We used to play checkers with each other every day, and bless his heart, Shiloh would always let me win!”

“The painting was a gift, Todd. I'm taking it with me.”

“She hasn't returned your phone calls, she hasn't responded to any of your letters, she didn't respond to the candygram. God knows what happened to the kitten you got for her. 'Cause she didn't keep it, and I know you're not raising the thing. I think it's very obvious at this juncture that she just flat out does not wanna see you.”

“Listen, I’m getting married.” “Get out.”

“I almost nunchucked you. You don’t even realize.”

Several years after it was released, it's still hilarious.

In the 2000s, there was no bigger brand in comedy than what was being delivered by the Frat Pack (Ben Stiller, Owen Wilson, Luke Wilson, Will Ferrell, Steve Carell, Jack Black, and Vince Vaughn), and Wedding Crashers is one of the greatest examples of that era. Years after its release, it remains as funny as ever – due both to a terrific script and amazing performances – and we’ve put together this feature celebrating the special lines that are funny no matter how many times you watch the movie.

New Line Cinema

Several years after it was released, Wedding Crashers is still hilarious.

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