“90 Day”'s Liz Fears She'll 'Backtrack' Seeing Ed for First Time Since Their Split: 'I'm Very Nauseous' (Exclusive)

The couple's 15th split came as a surprise to Liz, who was informed by their officiant that Ed didn't want to get married anymore

Liz is about to see Big Ed for the first time since she moved out of his home — and she has no idea what to expect.

In PEOPLE's exclusive clip from the June 9 episode of 90 Day Fiancé: Happily Ever After, Liz, 30, is back in Arkansas after weeks away from her ex-fiancée, and she's feeling the full spectrum of her emotions.

"I don't know how it's going to be," she tells her friend who sits in the passenger seat of the car as they drive towards Ed's house. "I just want my stuff. I'm really nervous."

Liz shares that Ed, 58, is "not an easy person to love, by any f---ing means. He's not. But I did love him," and her friend replies, "I know," before Liz becomes emotional.

"I don't want to see him," she admits as she gets choked up and wipes tears from her eyes. Her friend reassures her, saying, "You got this."

Related: 90 Day's Liz Says New Boyfriend Has Been a 'Blanket' and 'Allowed Me to Heal' from Her Break Up with Big Ed

While Liz panics on her way to Ed's house, he looks at ease as he loads up his dishwasher.

In a confessional, she reflects further on how she's feeling ahead of the reunion. "I know there's still going to be some type of hurt when I see him and I don't want to backtrack," she says. "I'm very angry, I'm very nauseous, like I just — I don't want…  I don't want to feel anything towards him."

"I'm scared for what the outcome is going to be," Liz reveals.

In the aftermath of her and Ed's split, Liz has been open about her regrets about the relationship's demise — and how "completely embarrassed" she is to be experiencing another breakup.

"This is not what I thought it was going to be a month ago. But everybody knew this was going to happen. And I had faith that it wasn't [going to]," she told her mom on the phone in the May 26 episode.

"It's embarrassing, Mom. It's so embarrassing. If I had any thought that this was going to happen, I would have never had Ryleigh involved in this," she continued, mentioning her 12-year-old daughter. "I would have. I would have never done this season. I would have never done any of this. I feel like the worst mom ever."

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90 Day Fiancé: Happily Ever After airs Sundays at 8 p.m. ET/PT on TLC.

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