Alan Cumming says ‘Hollywood saved me’ from feeling suicidal

Alan Cumming has opened up on feeling suicidal the day that he auditioned for GoldenEye, admitting "Hollywood saved me".

The Scottish actor is well known for his role as Russian computer genius Boris Grishenko in the James Bond film from 1995, but has shared an emotional story about the real-life heartbreak that he was experiencing at the time.

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Speaking to CBS Mornings in the US about his latest memoir, Baggage: Tales from a Fully Packed Life, he revealed that he had been feeling "really, really, really low" when he went for the audition.

The actor, now 56, was going through a divorce from wife Hilary Lyon and was struggling with his mental health when he went up for the part.

He said: "It was one of the worst days of my life actually. I felt really, really, really low. I just now think, 'Oh you poor little thing, you could've said I am feeling suicidal today.'

"That's something I realised when I was writing, like, 'oh my God, Hollywood saved me.'"

Cumming also explained how he coped with difficult times in his life, sharing that he liked to try to move on from bad experiences.

He said: "I have this sort of mantra, which is 'cancel, continue.' When something bad happens I think, 'okay that happened, we can't change that, let's move on.'"

The Tony Award-winning actor, who has been married to Grant Shaffer since 2007, has previously published another memoir, the 2014 book Not My Father's Son where he wrote about the abuse he suffered from his father.

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Cumming added that the "baggage" he felt from his early life experiences was a part of the inspiration for his new memoir.

He said: "When I was 28, I suddenly remembered all this stuff from my childhood. It's still with me, I still get triggered by things. And we all have baggage, we all have trauma."

For confidential emotional support at times of distress, contact The Samaritans at any time by calling 116 123 or emailing jo@samaritans.org.

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