Yahoo News American Horror Story’s Billie Lourd pays tribute to mum Carrie Fisher on anniversary of her death
American Horror Story star Billie Lourd has paid an emotional tribute to her mum Carrie Fisher on the anniversary of her death.
The Star Wars icon died in 2016 aged 60 after a sudden cardiac arrest during a transatlantic flight from London to Los Angeles.
She is survived by her daughter Billie, whom she welcomed with talent agent Bryan Lourd during their marriage, which lasted from 1991 to 1994.
Scream Queens star Billie marked the anniversary of her mother's passing with a heart-wrenching post on X (formerly Twitter) touching on her experience with grief.
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"It has been 7 years since my mom died (but who’s counting?? Me, I guess?) Every anniversary brings a different iteration of my grief," she wrote.
"Some infuse me with rage, some make me cry all day long, some make me feel dissociated and empty, some make me feel nothing, some make me feel guilty for feeling nothing, and some make me feel all of those things all at once."
Sharing the words alongside a childhood picture with her mother on a picturesque beach, Lourd continued: "This year when I woke up I felt grateful - or griefull if you will. Grief has infused my life with a sense of appreciation I had never had before.
"It makes me soak up every moment of joy as if it were my last," she added, before sharing a tear-jerking interaction with her own daughter, Jackson Joanne, whom she shares with husband Austen Rydell.
She said: "Today I was holding my daughter while she was napping in my arms and my eyes welled up with tears of joy. I laughed at myself then cried more cause I was laughing. I felt my mombys presence like the warmth of the sun on your skin on a hot summer day.
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"The kind of warmth where you unknowingly close your eyes and take a slow breath through your nose and grin. I miss her every day but the cliche is also true - she is with me every day - she infuses my joyful moments with even more joy.
"As I tell my son, she lives in the stars - and she damn sure makes my life sparkle. Sending my love to all my griefers out there. And hoping everyone can feel a little sparkle of griefull among all the feelings grief inevitably brings."
Lourd also shared a touching post about the Princess Leia star on Mother's Day, saying the holiday brings about "mixed emotions."
"Even though I’ve been a mom for almost 3 years and now have 2 kids of my own the first thing I think of when I hear happy Mother’s Day is her," she wrote, alongside another sweet throwback image.
"Even though it’s been over 6 years since she died, when I first wake up, this still feels like her day – not mine.
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"But as the day goes on I remember it is my day too now. I am a mother to two magical little creatures that I adore to my core and there is nothing that brings me more joy than being their mother.
"And even though she’s not here, it’s still her day. It’s our day now. And that is both sad and weirdly beautiful at the same time.
"With the magic of life comes the reality of grief. It is all intertwined. Mother’s Day can be many things.
"So, like I say every year. Happy Mother’s Day but also griefy / sad / lonely / estranged / frustrated / etc Mother’s Day! Mixed Emotions Mother’s Day!!! (Hallmark or whoever else makes cards out there - y’all should make that a card!!!) sending my love to anyone and everyone out there who needs it. You are not alone."
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