Andrea Bartz on Coming Out as Bisexual in Her 30s and Being 'Protective' of Latest Novel (Exclusive)

The author, whose thriller "The Spare Room" is out now, says of coming out in 2020: "I'm still me. I'm not a different person now that I'm in love with a woman"

Andrea Bartz made some discoveries about her sexuality. Exploring those experiences in the form of her most personal piece of fiction yet, the author admits she's nervous what fans might think.

"This is the first time one of my main character's journey has echoed mine in certain ways, so I feel really protective of her," Bartz, 37, tells PEOPLE of her fourth novel, The Spare Room, out today.

"At the same time, I know this book has, unfortunately, controversial elements that my other books don't. We do live in an America where there are a lot of people who have homophobic views and who are afraid of what they don't understand, afraid of people who are different from them."

The Spare Room is about 30-something Kelly, who, during the onset of the COVID pandemic and a crumbling engagement, decides to shack up with an old friend and her husband. During quarantine, Kelly discovers an attraction to both of her hosts and gets entangled with their marriage — and in their potentially shady dealings.

Like Kelly, Bartz too moved in with a couple during 2020, but there was no throuple or missing persons, she assures. She did, however, experience a similar journey of self-discovery.

As she wrote in a new essay published in Marie Claire, Bartz "soft-launched" her bisexuality with an Instagram post in October 2020, breaking the news in a subtle way to her followers who had "no idea I was attracted to women."

"I think I was surprised that I didn't feel different. It felt like it should be momentous, but instead it just felt like I'm still me," she tells PEOPLE of coming out. "I'm not a different person now that I'm in love with a woman."

The author has now been with her partner Julia for three years. Julia was the first woman she went on a date with during the pandemic after finally switching her dating app preferences to include both men and women.

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It was a "game-changing" life moment that happened as Bartz got the time to pause and reflect on her life once the world came to a halt.

"People were really happy to see me happy, too. I feel really grateful in sort of ironic way — not for the pandemic, but for that time and space that allowed me to listen to my intuition and listen to my inner wisdom," she says.

Would she have explored this part of herself had it not been for the pandemic pause? "I would like to think so, but it's really clear to me that the weirdness of the pandemic gave me the courage to shake that up. I don't know that I ever would have otherwise, if things were still going exactly the way they had been for my 20s and the first half of my 30s."

During her conservative upbringing in a suburb outside Milwaukee, Wisconsin, Bartz heard church sermons preaching that “homosexuality was a sin” and “definitely” developed internalized homophobia. She says, "I didn't really feel like I was allowed to explore that side of myself."

"I had always wondered if I was queer, and I had always wanted to find out by trying to date women, dating genders other than men, but I wasn't positive," she says, adding, "It wasn't like I was denying this part of myself or hiding this part of myself. But I wasn't courageous enough to admit it to myself and act on it."

On top of that, there was another worry holding her back: "I had this idea that I would be faking it or living a lie if I wasn't totally sure that I was queer. It's funny because now I realize if you think you might be queer, then probably there's something there that you don't need to be afraid of."

Bartz wants others to know "you absolutely deserve to be true to yourself and to live authentically" — and "it's never too late."

“For me, in a lot of ways it was harder and scarier to be in my mid-30s versus if I was a teenager and had my whole life ahead of me," she explains, adding, "It's really sort of disorienting to realize that a huge part of your self-identity and how you've seen yourself and how you've described yourself and how you've interacted with the world for 34-plus years is actually wrong."

As she puts it, "It's important not to blame or judge yourself for taking that long to come out. It's hard not to have some feelings of ‘What took me so long?’ But whenever you came out is the perfect time for you to come out."

"There's no need to waste another day in the closet if you feel like it's the right time for you," she says.

Bartz is known for the thrillers The Lost Night, The Herd and We Were Never Here, a Reese's Book Club pick that's set to be a Netflix film.

Her goal, first and foremost, she says, is to entertain. (PEOPLE's review called Spare Room a "fresh and sexy ride.") But she wanted to get the representation right since its steamier subject matter might be uncharted territory for mainstream thriller readers.

Bartz even worked with an authenticity reader to make sure the depictions of bisexuality and polyamory avoided stereotypes.

"People keep acting like it's so spicy when there's not actually very much explicit anything," she says of Spare Room. "There's a lot of sexual tension, and there's a character in a consensual and safe-until-it's-not environment, exploring her own sexuality."

"I think it's a fun and sexy way to dip your toe into the world of polyamory and bisexuality and open marriages and stuff you might not have firsthand experience with," Bartz adds.

Related: 'We Were Never Here' Author on Movie Adaptation and Real-Life Trip That Inspired Deadly Thriller

For someone who counts herself "used to" criticism for writing about so-called "unlikable women" who "come face to face with their own shame and vulnerability," Bartz says she's bracing herself for reactions this time.

"I know I'll have trouble not taking it extra personally when people attack my main character, Kelly, whom I love," she says. "I hope at the end of the day people can go back to the fact that this is fiction. You can tell from the jacket what it's about. If it's not for you, by all means, there's tons of other stuff you can pick up instead."

"But," she adds, "I hope for those who do pick it up, maybe there'll be elements of experiencing empathy for these characters who are unlike themselves."

The Spare Room is now available wherever books are sold.

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