Ariana Madix Said She 'Had to Be a F---ing Raging B---' to Not Be 'Walked Over' in Tom Sandoval Relationship

In the 'Vanderpump Rules' after show, Madix defended her actions as her ex called her "reactive" and claimed that he "made the mistake of, like, slowly gravitating away from that energy" over time

Tom Sandoval thinks Ariana Madix is reactive, but she's just been activated.

The Vanderpump Rules star, 38, said her souring dynamic with her ex forced her to act like “a  f---ing raging bitch” during the course of their nine-year relationship.

The estranged couple — who are uncomfortably still living together nearly a year after their abrupt split — were at odds on Tuesday's episode when Sandoval wanted to host his birthday party at their house and she threatened to call the cops if things got too rowdy.

Madix and Katie Maloney, 37, looked back on the conflict during VPR's after show, with Madix slightly softening in hindsight. “Overall, it worked out because it was like, ‘OK, the party will be tame and then it will be moved somewhere else by the time you’re home.’ And it was,” Madix recalled.

But, she explained that Sandoval had the habit of taking liberties at her expense — especially during the bitter months after their breakup. “If I’m not a f---ing raging bitch I will be walked over,” she said.

Related: Tom Sandoval Begs Ex Ariana Madix to 'Leave Me Behind' and 'Forget Me' 10 Months After His Affair

Madix's knee-jerk reaction that Sandoval's party in their home would be “disrespectful and inappropriate” was undoubtedly sparked by his history of a nocturnal, party-heavy lifestyle — but it surely was not helped by the fact she was still reeling from his months-long affair with former castmate Rachel “Raquel” Leviss, with whom he was still in touch at the time of filming for this week's episode.

Speaking further on her reaction, Madix said on the after show: “There’s not a rule when you both own a home. Obviously, both owners can do whatever they want. But in my opinion it is so beyond to be like, ‘Hey I wrecked this home and your life but I’m going to have a party here and, you know, you just have to deal with it.’”

She added, “I’m not paying a mortgage for other people’s recreation … he does own a bar!”

Related: Tom Who? Ariana Madix Grinds It Out While Filming 'Vanderpump Rules' at Ex Tom Sandoval's Bar

Costar Lala Kent — who has also gone through a messy public split on the show — disagreed with Madix’s reaction to Sandoval’s party, calling it “stupid.”

“It’s his home. He’s allowed to have parties for his birthday,” said Kent, 33. “Girl, he was f---ing your friend in the house, alright. Having a little birthday party ain’t s---,” she added.

Sandoval however said he was “not surprised” by Madix’s reaction and said it had often been “very hard” for him to bring people over during their relationship.

“She’s very much to herself. I think it could be a symptom of what was wrong,” he speculated. “Looking back, she would be very reactive. It could just be me having a good day — that would piss her off.... Eventually I, kind of, gave up on trying.” 

Related: When Rachel Leviss Realized Tom Sandoval Was 'James 2.0' — and Why Vanderpump Rules Is 'All He Has'

Sandoval had attempted to make accommodation for his ex, offering to put her up in a hotel while he had his party. But she was rejected that idea out of hand.

On the after show, she said, “I feel like any person with an ounce of common sense would be like, ‘You know what? Maybe in this moment I’ll show that person and anyone else ... that I am growing and I am learning and I do have respect.’”

Never miss a story — sign up for PEOPLE's free daily newsletter to stay up-to-date on the best of what PEOPLE has to offer, from celebrity news to compelling human interest stories.

Vanderpump Rules airs Tuesdays at 8 p.m. ET on Bravo.

For more People news, make sure to sign up for our newsletter!

Read the original article on People.