‘The Bachelor’ Zach Shallcross on Breaking His ‘No Sex’ Rule and Violating Female Privacy: ‘I Hurt a Lot of People’

In 2014, Nick Viall revealed on national TV that Bachelorette Andi Dorfman had slept with him during their time together on the show. Heartbroken that she didn’t choose him as her winner, Viall asked why she “made love” with him; she said him talking about their sex life was “below the belt.” The episode invited think pieces discussing whether Viall had slut-shamed Dorfman.

Fast-forward nine years and “Bachelor” history has repeated itself.

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The star of “The Bachelor” Season 27, Zach Shallcross, broke his own rule not to sleep with any of his final contestants in the fantasy suites. When he was intimate with his runner-up, Gabi Elnicki, he decided it was the appropriate choice to tell the other women that they had slept together. Viewers weren’t shocked when this decision blew up in Shallcross’ face, angering Elnicki, finalist Ariel Frenkel and, the eventual winner, Kaity Biggar.

On this week’s finale of “The Bachelor,” Elnicki confronted Shallcross and skewered him in front of a live studio audience, telling him that she felt violated. So did Frenkel, who told Shallcross that by making a one-sided decision to have a no-sex-rule, “You took away my agency and you took away my ability to even have a conversation.” Frenkel calmly grilled him, saying, “If you had waited, you would have found out that I was on the same page as you… By putting sex off the table, you made the entire week about sex. And it didn’t need to be like that.”

Ultimately, Shallcross got his happy ending, proposing to Biggar. The two are now happily engaged and preparing to move in together in Austin, Texas. But news of their engagement this week has been overshadowed by the discussion surrounding “sex week.”

Here, Shallcross talks to Variety about why he regrets how he handled the conversation around intimacy. Biggar chimes in to support her girlfriends. Plus, how many times did Shallcross really shower?

After Gabi and Ariel got to face you on “After the Final Rose,” do you think both women got a sense of closure?

Shallcross: I hope so. I really do. It’s never easy having those conversations, and when you watch the show, it does spark a reaction. That’s one thing that the show really is good at — that’s why it’s reality TV — because it’s jarring and it can make you feel a type of way. It’s hard having those emotional discussions. But I just hope that they know where my heart is, and where my intention is. They’re Kaity’s best friends and they’re going to be in our lives. I want them to know that I messed up, but it’s not who I am.

You apologized to both Gabi and Ariel on “After the Final Rose,” so we’ve heard from you, Zach. But Kaity, what was it like to see your friend Gabi so clearly hurting when she opened up about feeling violated by Zach telling everyone about their sex life?

Biggar: I actually haven’t seen what the conversation was like — I didn’t get to see that yet. But you’re right that Ariel, Gabi and I, we have a very close friendship. We still do. And I’m very empathetic. I feel for her when she’s in pain. I’m in pain, too. It’s kind of a weird situation too because he’s my fiancé, but she’s one of my best friends off the show. So it’s weird. I’m always going to support Gabi. I’m always going to support Ariel and also my other close friends off the show.

THE BACHELOR - Ò2709Ó - Love is in the air when Zach and the final three women travel to Krabi, Thailand. With firm parameters set on intimacy and growing temptations, will Zach hold himself to his commitment or go back on his word? MONDAY, MARCH 20 (8:00-10:01 p.m. EDT), on ABC. (ABC/Craig Sjodin)
KAITY, ARIEL, GABI
Kaity Biggar, Ariel Frenkel and Gabi Elnicki during a rose ceremony in Thailand on ABC’s “The Bachelor.”

After the second-to-last episode, Gabi, Ariel and you all posted the same photo on Instagram with the same emoji caption. “Bachelor” fan accounts had all sorts of conspiracy theories. What went behind that post?

Biggar: We did that post because after that episode, each and every one of us were hurt in some capacity. And for us to post that, it was just kind of empowering to each other — we are there for one another, to uplift and support each other throughout such a tumultuous time.

It was surprising to hear Gabi say that she had not known that everyone knew about the intimacy until she watched the episode last week. Ariel also shared a similar sentiment, sharing that she found out about your intimacy with Gabi when she was watching the show. Zach, you’re just the star of the show; you’re not producing it – but were you surprised that they weren’t informed to what was included on the show, prior to it airing?

Shallcross: Honestly, I try not to think of the show in regards to the editing because everyone knows it’s a reality TV show. What you see is not always the truth. They can direct things the way they like to. For me, what matters most is that everyone involved knows what actually happened because we lived it and went through it and speak to each other. The TV show is very good at messing that up.

But you did say that you regret how you handled the fantasy suites by breaking your own “no sex” rule, and both Ariel and Gabi said on “ATFR” that you did not inform them of everything during filming, which is why they learned by watching the show months later. Do you wish you handled anything differently this season?

Shallcross: Yeah, I mean that entire overnight week, the notorious week, looking back at the way I had handled that was wrong on my part — setting up a parameter or this executive decision for the week was not right of me. I was trying to make right by everyone in regards to that week. In reality, I flubbed it and I hurt a lot of people. It’s something that I’m still thinking about and wanting to make right. That’s one thing that I wish I just handled differently.

THE BACHELOR - ÒFinale and After the Final RoseÓ - ItÕs a crucial week in Thailand as Zach introduces Gabi and Kaity to his family. A live studio audience watches as Jesse Palmer sits down with Zach and his three final women to watch the emotional conclusion of his journey. MONDAY, MARCH 27 (8:00-11:00 p.m. EDT), on ABC. (ABC/Christopher Willard)
JESSE PALMER, ARIEL, ZACH SHALLCROSS
“It really hurts to find everything out on TV when everyone else does with a partner that you’ve shared so many intimate moments with,” Ariel Frenkel said about Shallcross to host Jesse Palmer on “After the Final Rose.”

Kaity, was it a coincidence that you wore white during the proposal?

Biggar: Gabi and I both had a stylist – the same one that Zack had — and he had a line of dresses, and we tried them on see which one fits us the best and which one we like. At the end of the day, I had the ultimate decision on which one I chose. The one I liked the most just happened to be the color white. There was no rhyme or reason to it. I just liked the cutout. I just liked the style of it, truly.

Shallcross: She looked beautiful in it. Holy smokes.

Okay, so producers didn’t put you in white. It was just a happy coincidence that you were giving bridal vibes.

Biggar: Just a happy coincidence. [Laughing]

Zach, I have to ask about the showers. How many showers did you actually take? Walk me through this, and take us behind the scenes.

Shallcross: To put it in perspective, every location we went to, there needed to be a shower scene — against my wishes. In the very beginning, it was a big leap for me. I was like, “How can I, like, shower? That’s going to be shown to a bunch of people. Plus, there’s like camera people in the shower with me. How can I do this?” And they always were like, “You know what, there’s so much filmed in the show, we probably won’t even use it, you’re good.” That’s the one thing they consecutively put in every episode is the shower scene.

Biggar: Every episode.

Shallcross: Every episode.

Biggar: Like we didn’t need to see that.

Shallcross: My mom. My poor mom. Like, c’mon! My sisters. I mean, one and done is good. Not nine times.

THE BACHELOR - “Finale and After the Final Rose” - It’s a crucial week in Thailand as Zach introduces Gabi and Kaity to his family. A live studio audience watches as Jesse Palmer sits down with Zach and his three final women to watch the emotional conclusion of his journey. MONDAY, MARCH 27 (8:00-11:00 p.m. EDT), on ABC. (ABC/Craig Sjodin)
KAITY, ZACH SHALLCROSS
Zach Shallcross proposes to Kaity Biggar on “The Bachelor” finale, which wrapped up its 27th season on Mar. 27, 2023.

How excited are you to watch Charity Lawson as “The Bachelorette?”

Shallcross: Well, Charity doesn’t need any advice for me. She’s going to absolutely kill it. But I would just say the one thing to remind her is enjoy every little moment. You can have fun with it. Inherently, you’re going to put pressure on yourself and you’re going to be thinking of a million things constantly, but if you just have fun and enjoy the moments, you’re going to be happier. You’re going to be yourself and that’s going to only help you find your partner.

Biggar: And she totally will.

Shallcross: She’ll frickin’ kill it.

Biggar: She handles everything with grace. She’s an incredible woman. Zach and I have already talked about how excited we are to watch it every Monday.

Well, the two of you are living proof for Charity that this can work and you can find love on reality TV.

Shallcross: It does exist. When you find your person, it’s easy. TV show or not, I found her.

This interview has been edited and condensed for clarity.

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