How bi-erasure led House of Pleasure founder to create new spaces for the community in Ireland

Ahead of their second club night on June 22, House of Pleasure founder Anna Kerslake shares how bi-erasure and prejudice led her to create new spaces for the community.

A substantial part of my life’s work is transforming the intangible – dreams and ideas – into tangible realities. I’ve always had a passion for supporting others in the journey of self-love. 

My name is Anna. I’m the creative behind House of Pleasure. I’m queer, bisexual, and a gender-fluid womxn. My pronouns are she/her/fae. I have ADHD. I’m an intersectional feminist, visual and musical artist, and performer. 

My early experiences in the gay club scene often left me feeling isolated as a bisexual and queer womxn. I attended some social events for queer women – but it could be cliquey. These are just a couple of the many comments on my sexuality that I received over the years as a queer person trying to find a sense of belonging in the scene: “Would you not pick a side?”, “I went through that phase too”, and “Isn’t that just a stop on the way to gay?” 

These remarks reinforce the societal stigma surrounding bisexuality, perpetuating the notion that bi/pansexuality is a passing fad or doesn’t exist. My sexuality isn’t up for debate. I’ve been queer since the crib. 

Bisexuals are not the minority; in fact, we make up the invisible majority within the LGBTQ+ community. Due to the lack of support, understanding, and recognition of bi and pansexual individuals, I began working on projects and creating spaces in the community to help overcome the erasure, alienation, and misconceptions regarding our sexuality. 

Last year, I set up a support and social group that meets twice a month to help cultivate a sense of connection. The empathy, warmth, openness, and kindness that resonate from these people continue to astound me. It’s a kaleidoscopic community. 

Everyone deserves access to social spaces where they can express themselves without shame, without judgement, and find belonging and acceptance.  FLUID Club was an idea I envisioned many years back and launched last year. It is the first dedicated club space celebrating bi, pan, and fluid sexuality in Ireland. 

In a community chat set up for a queer women’s club night in Dublin, the promoter engaged in several instances of bi-erasure. After they shut the chat down, another person took it upon themselves to add us into a new, more inclusive and supportive chat group, where those who were affected were able to discuss their experiences openly. 

 Unfortunately, there are instances of organisations promoting inclusivity that can be superficial and performative. Few dedicated spaces for queer, bi and pan womxn and gender-diverse people exist in Dublin. Trans and non-binary-only spaces are practically non-existent. Trans women can be left feeling unsure as to whether they are actually welcome in queer women-focused club spaces. 

While we’ve made amazing progress as a country in regard to LGBTQ+ rights, the perception that our rainbow society fully and authentically supports and represents our gender-diverse and multi-faceted sexual community is misleading. It isn’t always a haven for every shade of queer. Those represented by the B, T, and Q in LGBTQ+ need representation and dedicated support. There is still work to be done. 

There are numerous places designed to cater exclusively to men’s pleasure — massage parlours, bathhouses, Grindr, dark rooms, regular sex parties, “gentlemen’s” clubs, to name a few. Whenever I questioned why similar spaces didn’t exist for others, the explanation was dismissive, suggesting we “probably wouldn’t be into anything like that”. 

Fueled by discussions with other queer and bi women yearning for spaces to freely celebrate our sexuality, along with my own personal experiences, I envisioned a club concept where we could dismantle oppression and ignite a sexual revolution of our own. 

I created House of Pleasure as a sanctuary for queer cis and trans women, and non-binary people who connect with the terms ‘queer’ and ‘fem’ in their own way. Here, there are queer dancers, DJs, artists, and social spaces – for building connections, making friends, and finding lovers. It’s a space to break down preconceived notions between lesbians and bisexuals in a shame-free, body-positive environment – built on love, freedom, playfulness, and creativity. 

House of Pleasure is a sex-positive space. What does this mean? It means we have a healthy and positive outlook on sex and sexuality. Ours is a space designed for open discussion about sex and desire. We provide access to sexual health protection for all. We embrace the beauty of all bodies; it’s a space for freedom of creative self-expression. We cultivate a culture of bodily autonomy and healthy boundaries, and here, consent is king.

Taking loving care of ourselves and each other is central to our ethos. Respecting each person’s pronouns and unique identity presentation is non-negotiable. Same for access to gender-neutral bathrooms, which we believe should be the norm, not the exception. A space to be expressive in your flirtatious and romantic connections without being othered or seen as a curiosity by the cis male gaze.

At House of Pleasure, people can relax and be themselves. We work to create a safe experience among people who share our values and who also desire greater freedom with love and respect at the core. We hold ourselves to these high standards because we all deserve to live more authentically. 

There is not one way to be queer. One size does not fit all. All queer people, whether they’re bi, gay, trans or any other colour of the rainbow, deserve spaces where they feel seen and safe and can express themselves in a way that resonates with them. 

Who says queer resistance can’t be femme? The reclaiming of feminine aesthetics isn’t conformity; it’s a rebellion against mainstream patriarchal culture. It is a liberating and empowering experience in a society that often seeks to control and police our bodies and erase our queer identities. 

House of Pleasure is the space for our reimagining. It is a queer feminist rebellion against the status quo. It’s a celebration of femininity, androgyny, and sexual liberation. It certainly is a TERF-free zone. 

To fully embrace the true spirit of the club, we’ve revibed the dress code: Lace / Satin / Velvet / PVC / Leather (try vegan!) / Soft, Tactile Materials / Straps / Braces / Robes / Corsets / Ties / Bodysuits / Vests/ Garters / Gloves / Chokers / Feathers / Shirts / Mini Skirts / Harnesses / Platforms / Boots/ Leather Jackets / Sheer Dresses / Binders. 

Get creative with it! The venue won’t let us be naked in our rites, but feel free to tease and tantalise. It’s all about connecting with your own fierce inner sex goddess/kitten/nymph/icon or enigma. Leave your inhibitions at the cloakroom – no street or casual wear allowed inside, so don’t come in jeans please. 

We’ve enlisted an amazing art photographer who aligns with the vision of the club – the gorgeous and talented Kate from Daisy Chain Photos. Her dreamy style aligns with our vision. Confidence is contagious, so get playful with Kate to create some iconic shots. For those who prefer not to have their photo taken directly, just let Kate know.

House of Pleasure is a defiant middle finger to those who perpetuate misogyny, prevent progress and equality, and to those who have attempted to put my own sexuality and genderqueer self-expression in a box. This is a taking back of agency and rewriting our narrative. 

For those who resonate with our mission, we invite you to join us at House of Pleasure. Bring your beautiful self, or bring the gang. House of Pleasure is a space for WLW, trans women, lesbians, bi and pan gxrls and theys. And in case it’s not crystal clear, masc babes, you’re welcome too! Feel yourself and get down with us. We come together to dance, laugh, get playful, and have fun.

Our second party is on June 23, at DV8. We’d love to see you there.  Tickets are available here.  

If you feel passionate about what we’re trying to achieve and want to get involved, reach out! We are looking for support, funding, and to connect with creative and forward-thinking savvy individuals who share our vision for a more inclusive queer future. 

Here’s to radical self-love, falling head-over-heels, and finding our tribe. 

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