‘Comfort comes from community building’: how a Macmillan Coffee Morning can help you feel more connected

As a species, our relationship with food is pretty unique. For most animals, it’s simply a way to get nutrients. But for us, food is emotion, culture, and community. The exchange of words and the sharing of food are two fundamentally human activities with the power to quietly do the world of good. So what better way to raise money for charity than combining these two things?

A Macmillan Coffee Morning brings communities together while fundraising to support the 3m people living with cancer in the UK. The first Macmillan Coffee Morning took place in 1990, with the emphasis on getting people together in a relaxed environment to connect over food. In 2023 alone, £18m was raised – but it’s not just those who rely on Macmillan Cancer Support’s services who stand to benefit. Taking part in a Macmillan Coffee Morning fundraiser does something good for those who attend too. Those who join often share their own experiences with others, which can help them feel less lonely.

“Engaging in meaningful conversations can be a cathartic process for an individual as it allows them to share, release, and let go of their thoughts, feelings and experiences,” says Kamalyn Kaur, a psychotherapist and anxiety expert. “Sharing can help reduce feelings of isolation, anxiety, stress, or loneliness, leading to improved mental health.”

Jackie Grant, chair of Waltham Forest Women’s Network, hosted a Coffee Morning in a gym with a friend some years back, and left the event with a new pal. Explaining that her friend she hosted with was the inspiration for the event, Grant says: “She had suffered from breast cancer and said that the nurses at Macmillan were amazing. It was a lovely day of shared experiences. Inspiring too.”

The day included some stalls by small businesses and it was here that Grant connected with a like-minded individual. “She was in health and wellness, so am I, so we had synergies across our businesses – we’ve now been friends for years.”

A Macmillan Coffee Morning doesn’t always have to be about coffee and cake. For Afsaneh Parvizi-Wayne, the menu included “lots of food, savoury and sweet, from different countries”. Parvizi-Wayne, founder of Freda Health, originally held Coffee Mornings after a friend was treated for cancer. Then, five years ago, she herself was diagnosed, and now joins in the fun as an attendee.

“I’m a great believer in comfort and support coming from community building,” she says. “I am Middle Eastern and I realised how necessary it is to unpack the word cancer and rob it of its gloomy and depressing undertones. Talking openly about cancer helps destigmatise the subject.”

Kaur adds: “As humans, we can often be tough on ourselves and self-critical when dealing with life events. We often have more compassion and empathy for those around us. Hearing someone else’s story, when they’ve gone through something similar, can help you realise the gravitas of what you have been through, helping you to extend kindness and compassion to yourself.”

For content creator Polly Jean Harrison, from north Wales, positive office culture helped make her Coffee Morning happen. “My workplace was very passionate about raising money for charity, so I thought it would be a good cause for us to take on – and who doesn’t love cake?”

Jean encouraged her colleagues to take part in a mini Bake Off competition, inspired by the popular TV show. “I wanted to add something to help make it a bit more exciting for everyone and I’m very pleased to say my banana muffins came in the top spot. I promise it wasn’t rigged!” she says. “The room was just filled with chitchat and laughter.”

Linda Aitchison, an editorial agency director from Wolverhampton, hosted an event after the death of her husband. “My late husband Neil died of melanoma, aged 44 – he was paralysed by multiple tumours in his spine. He had physio every day with two Macmillan physiotherapists for about a month and as a result was able to walk, very slowly, down the aisle to marry me, months before we lost him,” she says. “I was beyond grateful to Macmillan for making such a difference at a devastating time.”

Aitchison organised the Coffee Morning with her business partner Carol Fittes. “She loved it. We also lost her to cancer about a year after, and that Coffee Morning is a very happy memory for me. I decorated a Victoria sandwich cake from Sainsbury’s and waited to see how long anyone would take to spot I was fibbing about it being homemade. I also made brownies from a packet mix and they were terrible – I remember laughing a lot as Carol teased me about how bad my effort was.”

Encouraging others to host their own Coffee Morning, Aitchison adds: “Go for it – you’ll be very glad you did. Don’t stress over how much money you will or won’t raise. Getting together to chat and recognise this wonderful organisation is a lovely, simple way to do something good.”

Want to get involved? Sign up to host a Macmillan Coffee Morning at macmillan.org.uk/coffee-morning

_{Macmillan Cancer Support, registered charity in England and Wales (261017), Scotland (SCO39907) and the Isle of Man (604). Also operating in Northern Ireland.}