I’d much rather teenagers drink alcohol than protest climate change

Shock horror: English children are the most likely in the world to have drunk alcohol, according to the World Health Organisation. The research resulted in criticism of middle class parents for serving wine at dinner. “Drunkenness is just embedded in British society in a way which it is just not in other countries”, said one researcher.

Drinking culture here in Blighty is indeed outsized: far too many people of all ages drink to excess, shame at appearing drunk seems less than in other countries, and there are obvious cultural conditions, like stiff upper lip repression and pent-up social anxiety, which make necking alcohol a key crutch.

Of course it’s bad for teens and for us. Alcohol is linked to all sorts of dreadful health outcomes, psychological and physical.

And yet, I can’t help but titter. There we were, hankering after the European way of life, its insouciantly balanced approach to food and drink, its olive-oil-drenched diet, its relaxed and moderate attitude to integrating wine with food. Surely one of the hallmarks of European civility is wine for all at table – children included. It is ironic that, having fully embraced that habit, we get a rap on the knuckles.

And if young people appear to be once again prone to drinking after a rather sobering (if you will) ebb, when they seemed to only care about sitting at home looking at their phones and organising climate change protests, then, well, silver linings and all that. At least they might have more fun – and be less tiresome for the rest of us.

Compared to the po-faced causes, and neurotic fear of intimacy, that have dogged the young generation, a spot of excess in the booze department is a relief – but only if they learn control in due course. Previous generations did, and have lived to tell the tale, with a gleeful twinkle in their eye that it would be nice to pass on.