Dear Richard Madeley: Why does my friend insist on sharing the details of his sex life?

'Every Friday since he met this woman he's been giving us a running commentary about their sex life,' says our reader - Ron Number

Dear Richard,

My pals and I are in our 70s and we meet on a Friday for a pint.

A friend in the group (and I do actually mean a friend and not me) separated from his wife a year ago but has found it very difficult to be on his own. Recently, he met a lady in her 60s who is attractive and good company. She is married and lives with her husband but he says they are estranged; she stays over at his flat regularly.

The thing is that every Friday since he met this woman he’s been giving us a running commentary about their sex life – numbers, positions, even successes and failures on the erection front. We’re not prudes and we’re glad he’s found love – or at least lust – at his age, but we don’t know how to respond (especially since she’s joined us a couple of times). Is there a polite way of letting him know we can do without these sex bulletins?

— Tim, Cardiff

Dear Tim,

This is certainly a funny (as in amusing) problem to have! But I do appreciate that your priapic pal’s breathless reporting of the, er, ups and downs of his love life must be getting pretty wearing. Not to say repetitive.

There’s nothing for it but to tell him. Do it with good humour, but be firm. And you must speak as one group. Next time he starts informing you all in excruciating detail what came up (or otherwise) during his latest frolics, head him off at the pass. Say that, as fascinated as you are by these weekly accounts of his personal journey through Fifty Shades of Grey, you’ve all heard enough now. From here on, less is more. You’re delighted that he’s found his inamorata while he’s still got what it takes, but it’s time to draw a veil over the lurid details. Warn him any further infractions will result in a penalty: he’ll have to get the next two rounds in.

I don’t think he’ll take offence, especially if you deliver all this with a friendly grin. Maybe crack a few jokes along the way (I can think of a corker that would fit this situation perfectly, but it’s unprintable in a family newspaper). From what you say, the guy sounds pretty much unembarrassable.