Edinburgh woman says mum's death still impacts her 'two decades later'

An Edinburgh woman who lost her mother at 24-years-old says running helped her move through the grief.

Jan Lee, 43, will be taking part in the Edinburgh Marathon - raising funds for Worldwide Cancer Research. Her mum, Marion, passed away in 2005 after battling bowel cancer for around a year.

She began going on longer runs to cope with her mother's death, and found it became a "form of therapy ". While Jan has found a way to "sort through the issues in her head", she said it's crucial that those dealing with the death of a loved one have someone to talk to.

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Jan told us: "My mum passed away in February 2005 when she was 51, she had been battling cancer for around a year by that point.

"I had always been interested in running, never competitively and never long distance, but then I started to go on longer runs to help me cope with grief. One day in May 2005, I ran to Holyrood Park and I saw that they were setting up the finish line for the marathon festival.

"That’s when I decided that I would run the race and try to fundraise for the hospice that looked after her, which was St Columbus."

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Running ended up becoming a form of therapy for Jan, which she now says is the "key thing" that helps her process her feelings. She added "Running helped me with my grief. I have always found that going out for a run can help you sort through difficult issues in your head and be able to think things through.

"As I got deeper into training, it really did help me. I would describe it as a form of therapy and I still do feel that way.

"It’s been 19 years since we have lost of mum and I still fundraise to help me process the grief and I do think it’s so important - running is the key thing that I have done to process my feelings."

While it's been almost two decades, Jan told us her mum's death still impacts her now. She told us "I was in my early 20s when my mum passed away. She was my best friend, I adored her and so did everyone that knew her.

"It was an enormous shock and it still impacts me now. For a 24-year-old the shock was immense because you started to see your parents more as friends than just a parental figure and I was really enjoying all the time that I spent with her as I made my may out into the world."

As for preparing for the run, Jan said it's been difficult - but has had her family rally around her. She continued: "I found it all incredibly difficult and painful, my family around me have been so wonderful and they are always on the sidelines cheering when I am in races. I am feeling quite good ahead of the marathon.

"I have one more training day left. My legs feel okay, I have nerves which I think is normal."

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As for others dealing with grief, Jan said it's crucial to have someone to talk to. She told us: "Nobody ever sat me down and said I would ever be done grieving.

"People spread loads of clichés like time is a healer and you won’t always feel this way, and the truth is it does change and move on with you life and you create memories that don’t involve those that you have lost. It’s essential that you have someone to talk to and that we can also talk publicly about what it’s like to live with the loss of someone who means the world to you.

"My dad is going to be cheering me on. He really misses my mum as well and I think I would describe him as young when he lost his wife."

You can donate to Jan's fundraiser here.