Yahoo News ‘Emily in Paris’ Characters Ranked by Their Love of Mess
Warning: This post contains spoilers for major plot points in “Emily in Paris” Season 3.
“Emily in Paris” might be the fun, mindless binge of the holiday season, an opportunity for audiences to admire attractive men and audacious couture without splurging on a ticket to France.
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But that’s not why you’re watching.
“Emily in Paris” fans, like the characters themselves, love mess. This is a show about shiny hot people who love chaos — one of Netflix’s most successful genres — and a show that viewers too sane to blow up their own lives can guiltlessly and joyfully binge. Season 3 is no different, with flirtations, affairs, hookups, and workplace drama, some of which is legitimate madness and some of which is just messy fools loving drama. Jobs are lost, relationships sabotaged, friendships tested, and at one point Luc (Bruno Gouery) proudly declares, “I am a star fucker.” It is glorious.
With that festive thesis in mind (at Christmas you tell the truth!), here is an extremely factual list of the main characters on “Emily in Paris,” ranked by their absolute love of mess.
11. Benoit (Kevin Dias)
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So unbothered and unbothersome that we almost forgot to include him on this list. Good luck with everything, buddy.
10. Alfie (Lucien Laviscount)
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Alfie is too English to fuck with chaos, which is why he checks out at even a hint of it. Protect this man and his peace!
9. Julien (Samuel Arnold)
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Julien enjoys chaos as a spectator, but does not want it sullying his good name. By the end of Season 3 he’s officially had it with Emily’s (Lily Collins) messiness specifically , a woman who cannot making every single aspect of life in Paris about herself when Julien just wants to keep things professional and advance his career! Best of luck to him at the new job he definitely just accepted, and here’s to hoping his colleagues can keep it together.
8. Gabriel (Lucas Bravo)
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On some level, Gabriel thinks he is living the most normal life ever, but he has all the symptoms for a chaos diagnosis: Being in love with multiple women while insisting on a monogamous relationship, maintaining a close friendship with the woman his girlfriend knows he slept with, a shotgun wedding, a sudden and overwhelming desire to have children and make everyone and everything in his life adjust to this goal. Maybe a better word is “selfish.”
7. Emily
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Emily honestly thinks she is a chaos queen but what she is queen of is turning a mountain into un taupinière (Google says this is French for molehill). Remember how she spent all of Season 2 spinning out because “OMG you guys I slept with Gabriel and now he’s back with Camille!” but no one else cared — including and especially Gabriel and Camille (Camille Razat), who got back together! Emily loves to say things “got so complicated” when what she means is that she didn’t text her boyfriend or speak to her best friend who she lives with. Her behavior might be chaotic if it weren’t primarily lazy. Sit down, sweetie.
6. Nicolas (Paul Forman)
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Igniting an old flame out of the blue to the point that her boyfriend with no personality dumps her? That’s chaos. But other than that, Nicolas is mostly just kind of rude; stealing Sylvie’s (Philippine Leroy-Beaulieu) client and his constant demeanor with Emily are played off as “just business,” but there’s a way to conduct business without being a butthead.
5. Mindy (Ashley Park)
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In some ways Mindy has no grasp on reality, like when she is adamant that Nicholas isn’t into her or when describing her three nights singing pop at a jazz club as “a career peak” — but when it comes to living chaotically, she knows what’s what. Did she start dating Nicholas like a day after Benoit dumped her? Sure, but it’s no skin off her back. Is she going to EuroVision with Benoit despite being in a full relationship with Nicholas and his ostentatious helicopter? Yeah, but don’t read into it! Mindy lives life by the edict of “It’s only weird if we make it weird,” and she refuses to make it weird.
4. Luc
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Luc is not a chaos-forward individual, but on a subconscious level he deeply craves it. Why else can’t he shut up while clearly shocking Madeline with the news that Emily works for both her and Sylvie? What else could compel him to present Emily’s work to new clients? What but a profound, undying love for mess would have Luc repeatedly overexplaining that his date works for the phone company while trying to keep her cover as a Michelin reviewer? Luc’s life itself is not that chaotic, unless you count “The White Lotus” Season 2 as the natural epilogue to “Emily in Paris.”
3. Antoine (William Abadie)
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Antoine has chilled out, but his record is one of casual (and sometimes creepy) chaos. The affair with Sylvie and flirting with Emily are in the past, but hiring their company and Alfie means he’s keeping everything close.
2. Sylvie
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Not only does Sylvie live and breathe mess, but she owns it. This woman has turned chaos into couture, a luxury brand and lifestyle that pairs with her impervious nature. The only reason she didn’t top this list is because she’s entirely unfazed by anything from some slight sexual manipulation of the building manager to having sex with her husband in a pool because of bees. This woman’s favorite month must be March, because she lives for madness.
1. Camille
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For someone whose life was ostensibly pretty uneventful before Emily touched down at CDG airport, Camille has plunged headfirst into a truly chaotic existence. She pulled out some classic teen-movie mean girl moves in Season 2 when she found out about Emily and Gabriel, but once she had a taste she became insatiable. Few twists to this day can compare with the absurdity of Camille and Emily, two adult women, making a pact that they would not date Gabriel — a pact Camille proposed, pushed, and subsequently shattered when she got back with him — which she wanted all along! Camille uses one smile between Gabriel and Emily as carte blanche to have an affair with a Greek artist, then dodges any and all responsibility for it at her engagement party by telling Emily “Our secrets are what will keep us close” and diverting attention to Emily and Gabriel, who honestly had close to zero chemistry this season. She’s a pro!
“Emily in Paris” Season 3 is now streaming on Netflix.
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