'I friend zoned my 16-year age gap toyboy boyfriend - now he's my carer'

Holly Mei-Yu Stafford & Jon Macpherson
·4-min read

A middle-aged woman says friend zoning her toyboy partner made their 16-year age gap relationship "stronger" and is having the" best sex of her life".

Kate Mayne, 42, met her boyfriend, Rory Burgess, 26, online in 2019, and the pair had an "instant connection". However, Kate decided they were "better as friends" because she was still getting over the end of her 17-year relationship.

Staying in touch, the pair "talked every day" and rekindled things romantically a year later in March 2020 because of the "deep connection" they'd formed. The couple have been inseparable ever since - saying "I love you" after a week and moving in six months later.

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Despite the 16-year age gap, they share a love of Motown music and are both die-hard Crystal Palace football fans. The pair plan to get married and mum-of-one Kate hopes to "have children one day" with Rory.

This comes after TV presenter Alison Hammond, 49, who rarely shares her personal life, went public with her new flame, David Putman, 26, who is also 16-years her junior.

Kate, who cannot work due to fibromyalgia, said: "I'm bubbly like Alison, so seeing her with her new partner, reminds me of me and Rory and makes me smile. If she's found someone that makes her as happy as Rory makes me, then she's got a keeper.

"She's making age-gap relationships less of a taboo. I've been in a couple of age-gap relationships because you can't help who you fall in love with.

"Rory and I haven't really received any negative experiences with people staring or saying something unkind, but it's sad that we have to be thankful for that. I'm thankful that I had Rory as a friend first as it's made us stronger.

"He's the best and really looks after me. I can't work because of my fibromyalgia, so he's not just my partner but my carer.

"I'm having the best sex I've ever had in my life.But Rory's understanding that my illness means I have days when I can't be intimate.

"I can't wait to call him my husband and we hope to have children one day."

Following the end of a 17-year relationship, in March 2019, Kate decided to try her luck on the dating site, Badoo, where she came across Rory, who now works as her carer. After starting a conversation, the pair exchanged messages for three months - discussing their mutual love of music, dogs, and shared football team.

Kate finally met up with Rory in June 2019 for dinner but whilst getting over her previous break-up, she felt they'd be "better off as friends".

But after a night out with friends in March 2020, the pair couldn't deny their "strong connection" and decided to give things a go romantically.

"I'd always fancied Rory but I didn't feel ready for a relationship until the following March," Kate said. "When we realised we were both on the same page, there was no denying that we were wanting something serious.

"We said 'I love you' within a week, moved in together after six months and have been inseparable since. I'm thankful for that friendship period because it's made us stronger."

Kate says the pair haven't received much backlash and her family and friends have "always been supportive". She said: "My mum was 11 years older than my dad and they were married 42 years until she sadly passed two years ago.

"My dad loves Rory and calls him 'son'. Our friends are happy for us because they see how happy we are.

"I've only had one strange throwaway comment when we were out for a walk and someone said, 'is that your son', gesturing to Rory. I just laughed it off because I don't care.

"Love is love- within reason. Appropriate age-gap relationships should be celebrated because the love I've found with Rory is nothing that I've ever felt before.

"We hope to see more positive conversations about age gap relationships but Alison going public with her new romance is a great start. I hope their relationship is as wonderful as ours."

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