The Funniest Tweets From Parents This Week (May 18-24)
Kids may say the darndest things, but parentstweet about them in the funniest ways. Although Twitter has rebranded to X, the humor lives on.
Every week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on the social media platform to spread the joy. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents for more!
hands down the worst part of parenting is when you have to follow through on a boundary you set 😭 like ok i didnt want to actually leave the pool and now i have to be a woman of my word!!!
— emily (@emilykmay) May 20, 2024
My 8yo has somehow acquired a day planner. This isn’t going to end well.
8yo: Mom, can we go to McDonald’s on August 24th?
Me: ummm…I don’t know, maybe?
8yo: *clicks pen*— Lurkin' Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) May 22, 2024
got an email from 5yo’s teacher that the kids are playing a “kiss game” on the playground at school but it’s not lip kissing it’s the band KISS so if they talk about the kiss game that’s what it is
— lee gatlin (@neilaglet) May 19, 2024
you think every time a baby wakes up from a nap they’re like, “what the fuck has happened to everyone and everything i know?!?”
— amil (@amil) May 22, 2024
my kid was upset because I took away her iPad and she was like “ugh! I bet when you were a kid, grandma let you have your iPad!” and I was like…bitch. grandma didn’t even let me have my FEELINGS
— ely kreimendahl (@ElyKreimendahl) May 21, 2024
I made my 7yo son a pb&j. I asked how was it. He gone say “dry but you tried”. pic.twitter.com/YEj5k3lMFP
— Mom (@themultiplemom) May 22, 2024
Took my kid to “Bring Your Child To Work Day” a few weeks ago and now, any time I ask her how she’s doing, she says “Living the dream”.
— My Life As Dad (@milifeasdad) May 22, 2024
Sometimes I still think about how after my first kid was born, in addition to the bill, we got a letter from the hospital suggesting we donate $500 as a thank you
— meghan (@deloisivete) May 22, 2024
Research: Kids are having too much screen time.
School: Let’s put everything online.— I Hide From My Kids (@IHideFromMyKids) May 22, 2024
I finally found something that my daughter and I would both like to eat for dinner. It’s cake, but still.
— Katie D (@KatieDeal99) May 22, 2024
3yo: For Halloween I will be a monster truck race car. [1yo] will be a lion. Daddy, you can be a ghost robot. Or a witch!
Me: What can I be?
3yo (thoughtfully): I guess you can be a mommy.
He is available to speak at college commencements for a modest fee.— Amy Colleen (@sewistwrites) May 18, 2024
my daughter asked if she can take her sleep mask to the movie theater, revealing she has the exact same intentions as me for our family outing
— That Mom Tho (@mom_tho) May 19, 2024
I told my son to do something, and he gave me that ugh attitude. My daughter looked at him, "THIRTY SIX hours!" To remind him how long I was in labor with him lmao
— Marcy G (@BunAndLeggings) May 21, 2024
Begging for a toy, my 7yo rationalized, “Technically we have infinity money if you just keep working forever, Mom”
😭😭😭— Lil Bit 🌈 (@LizerReal) May 19, 2024
wife: be careful climbing that ladder, it looks dangerous
me: hey, danger’s my middle name
daughter: WHAT?!?
son: SERIOUSLY?!? And I got stuck with Andrew???— Henpecked Hal (@HenpeckedHal) May 20, 2024
4-year-olds are the most impatient creatures on the planet but also they will spend 10 minutes putting on a pair of shorts.
— Kristen Mulrooney (@missmulrooney) May 21, 2024
My daughter graduates high school this week so that means at any moment my wife may start crying like everyone we know just died.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) May 23, 2024
I love Sunday nights because that’s the night my kids tell me they don’t have any homework & then ask if I have a tri-fold board, at 11pm, like I’m a 24 hr Staples.
— Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) May 20, 2024