Grace Millane’s death is a tragedy — but women must continue to adventure around the world alone

When I was an impulsive and headstrong 19-year-old, I bought a one-way ticket to Chennai, India. It was a decision made on heartbroken whim, an act of petulant rebellion after my high-school boyfriend had dumped me for a new, blonder and smarter university squeeze. It was a chance to prove to everyone — but primarily myself — that far from being a naive teenager I was more than capable of holding my own, and certainly didn’t need anyone holding my hand while I embarked on what was sure to be the adventure of a lifetime.

I arrogantly thought I was well prepared for what lay ahead: jabbed full of vaccinations, a decidedly unthumbed copy of the Lonely Planet sitting proudly at the top of my bulging borrowed backpack, and a head full of excruciatingly clichéd visions of ‘“finding myself” amid the temples of Tamil Nadu, before returning wiser, thinner and almost certainly headed for a romantic reunion. The reality was rather different.

Four nights in, I was attacked on my way home from a restaurant by the waiter I had thought was being friendly. As he’d brought another beer to my table with a smile earlier that evening, I distinctly remember mentally drafting the email I’d soon be sending home from a rickety internet café, in which I would embellish stories about the local friends I was making, and lie about how much fun I was having. Instead, I spent a week sobbing in a dark dorm room, lonely, frightened and longing for home.

But I was lucky. Grace Millane was not. The 22-year-old British backpacker went missing in Auckland earlier this month. Yesterday, a man appeared in court charged with her murder. Grace had been travelling by herself in New Zealand for two weeks, part of a year-long round-the-world trip she had excitedly started after graduating from the University of Lincoln. Her father David remembers her as “lovely” and “family-orientated”, and said his daughter had been “bombarding us with numerous photographs and messages of her adventures” before her death.

Fighting back tears at a press conference, New Zealand’s Prime Minister, Jacinda Ardern, apologised on behalf of her country: “Your daughter should have been safe here, and she wasn’t, and I’m sorry for that.”

And of course, she’s right. Grace should have been safe, and her death is a devastating reminder that women are evidently not — wherever they might be. It’s an unavoidable fact that solo female travel puts you in a uniquely vulnerable position. Alone, you stand out; without a pack to protect you, there is a perception that you are weaker. And cultural differences take sensitive navigation.

And yet, 12 years after I set off, I would wholeheartedly recommend venturing out on your own, regardless of gender. While I was away I had no mobile phone, no company and no clue but the four months I spent hostel-hopping were among the most terrifying, exhilarating and character-forming of my life.

It certainly wasn’t always easy but I am adamant that women can, should and must continue to explore every corner of the globe, unaccompanied and uncurtailed by fear.

It wasn’t backpacking that killed Grace, it was a human.

For real drama, you can’t beat #teamjani

For some helpful perspective on the current potential end-of-the-world situation, Twitter’s statistics on the year’s most discussed TV provide enlightening analysis.

Political shows feature heavily — Question Time garnering 2.5 million tweets and Andrew Marr 1.6 million — but current affairs are blown out of the water by the carnal affairs of ITV’s cult summer shagfest Love Island, which saw 6.3 million of us tapping out #teamjani.

And no wonder — for it has perfected the art of milking the romantic drama, and it continues long after the oiled-up orange lovers have left the villa to embark on life as Instagram stars. Take the rolling saga of winners Jack and Dani, who announced their split last week , reigniting WhatsApp groups dormant since the finale, before sensationally reuniting last night.

Conspiracy theorists might note this is in time for the Christmas special, but no matter! Westminster has nothing on Majorca.

*If, like me, you are suffering from a serious case of Brexhaustion at the mere thought of the brutal season of Branxiety that is still to come before actual Brexpocalypse hits, may I suggest hitting the mute button? I’ve started following the news via subtitles alone, and it’s brilliant.

Not only is it no less illuminating that trying to work out what the hell is actually going on, it has created an interesting sub-narrative to events.

Yesterday I learned that the Prime Minister had “deferred her boat” in order to preserve “a hard-won piece” — of what we may never know — but also that she admits there is something deceptive at the centre of her thinking. Which sounds about right.