Yahoo News Heidi N Closet speaks her truth on quitting RuPaul's Drag Race All Stars 8 : 'I have zero regrets'
Heidi N Closet's decision to quit RuPaul's Drag Race All Stars 8 had everyone — particularly Alexis Michelle — crying enough tears to fill a warehouse worth of Heidi Hydrates.
In the aftermath of the fan-favorite queen's bombshell decision to walk out of the Werk Room, EW's Quick Drag podcast caught up with the season 12 alum (below) to reflect on the shocking moment Heidi decided to, definitively, worry about Heidi.
Read the full conversation with Heidi below, in which she opens up about the details surrounding the alleged off-camera conversation she had with Kandy Muse concerning an apparent plot to oust Jimbo, tea on Alexis reportedly attempting to align with other competitors, and whether or not we'll see Heidi on another season of Drag Race in the future.
Paramount+ Heidi N Closet on 'RuPaul's Drag Race All Stars 8'
ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY: This has been quite a whirlwind 24 hours for you, now that this episode is out, how are you feeling seeing how the fans are processing this moment?
HEIDI N CLOSET: It's been such an incredible experience. I've been riddled with anxiety and struggling with bouts of depression. You never know. The waiting, you just don't know how it'll look and come off to the masses. I'd say 95 percent has been positive energy. I'm grateful that people see me and my talents, and that I did what was best for me in the heat of the moment.
You said Kandy told you she wanted to get Jimbo out of the competition. Did you think there was an actual plot to vote out Jimbo, or was it closer to what Kandy said in the Werk Room to Jimbo's face a few episodes ago, about people voting out the biggest competition and that Jimbo should be nervous?
It was very much giving plotting and scheming to get out Jimbo.
I remember interviewing India Ferrah on All Stars 5 about a similar instance, when she told Shea there was an off-camera campaign against her. I'll ask you the same thing I asked India: What was the exact wording of how it was said to you, and the context in which it was said?
The exact wording was: "The producers love her. If her ass ever lands in the bottom, we'll all send her home."
Kandy said that to you and Alexis?
Open quote, end quote. [Note: On the show, Kandy denied plotting against Jimbo.]
You asked Alexis to corroborate, because she apparently heard it. Was Alexis involved in another alliance?
She wasn't necessarily involved in our alliance. She did want to be part of our alliance. [We thought] she's talented, she will do great things in the competition, she'll probably win something at some point and maybe help us along the way. It was giving very honorary member of the alliance.
Was there any other significance as to how this came up?
I think that's pretty much it. I was just gagged that it happened. I remember looking at Kandy like, uh… I was gagged, because I personally assumed that since we were all trying to work together, that Alexis would probably tell Jimbo. When Jimbo approached me, I was like, I'll tell you, this is what was what.
So, Jimbo also approached you, not in the Werk Room?
No, me and her were in the Werk Room when we spoke, me and Jimbo. But, not on camera.
Jimbo was shaken by this?
I don't necessarily know, because her reaction was bland, to me telling her that. She came up to me, she was nervous because she felt like there was tension in our alliance, which I can definitely see that for sure. I told her we were fine, but I told her to go talk to Kandy, because Kandy was starting to rally the girls against her.
How did Jimbo find out? Did you tell Jimbo prior to her approaching you in the Werk Room?
No. She came up to me shortly after [the alleged Kandy conversation] happened, and that's when I told her.
After you asked Alexis to corroborate, she first nodded, before walking it back to say she never heard Kandy say it. It seemed like this was maybe the straw that broke the camel's back. How did you feel about Alexis' answer?
Alexis was very vocal about how she wanted to come back to the show and try and change how people viewed her from her past season. Something like this comes up, I see it as an opportunity to start chugging that along, and that wasn't necessarily what [transpired].
Paramount+ 'RuPaul's Drag Race All Stars 8' queens have tense discussion in the Werk Room.
What did you think of Alexis crying after you left?
A master class in acting! Give her an Emmy…. Bitch, I live. I live for it. Girl, on cue!
Jimbo and Alexis went on Instagram Live to discuss the episode. Alexis said she was scared of Kandy during filming, and Jimbo said that there were other factors contributing to you leaving. Can you elaborate on both?
I didn't know how apprehensive around Kandy Alexis was, so that was news to me, which is why I was so taken aback. She approached me, Kandy, and Jimbo as wanting to work with us. She approached me first, so I was like, okay, she clearly wants to work with us. She also was probably closer to Jimbo than anyone else at that time…. As far as things outside the competition, when my grandmother passed away, I didn't really delve into those emotions too much because I was hurt by it, so I threw myself into my work. That was weighing on me, my family life, my grandmother was the glue that held my family together…. When she passed, all hell broke loose, there was fighting over the house, guns got pulled out, it was just very ugly, and it was two months before leaving for All Stars…. I was very much dealing with that.
Jimbo is the frontrunner at this point, did it cross your mind, if Kandy did say this, to team up with Kandy to vote Jimbo out, since that would benefit you?
No. Of course when things come up, there's thinking. My process was, do I like that she's winning everything? Partially, no, because I believed I was also bringing excellence to the competition. I was also thinking, she's winning everything, the other girls are going to naturally start looking at that and see her as a threat, so, if they do want to try to pull the pageant and get rid of somebody who's a threat, it would probably be her. I was fine with her winning everything. When it comes to lip-syncing, the rollover money is very cute, so I was like, let her keep winning it, that's fine. The only thing about Jimbo that was ever discussed with me calculating was, me and Kandy had this conversation: If Jimbo and I landed in the bottom — or if she and Jimbo landed in the bottom — to mitigate Alexis' power with our alliance, we'd vote to cross out Alexis' vote, because we felt that Alexis was closer to Jimbo than us, so we knew she'd vote one of us out. Just to make sure we canceled out her vote, we'd vote to save each other. There was never a campaign for me, personally, to get Jimbo out. There was just a chance to mitigate craziness that could happen to either of us.
Alexis approached you and Jimbo and Kandy to be in the alliance, but you were all sort of treating her as the honorary member, unbeknownst to her?
I don't know if it was unbeknownst…. We never really made an official alliance with her. We don't know if she knew that the three of us were in an alliance together, either, it was like she wanted to work with the three of us, specifically, not necessarily that she wanted to work with the alliance.
Do you have any regrets?
Absolutely not. I have zero regrets, I stand by the decisions I made, I'm proud of what I got to show, I'm happy that Kahanna got to stay. I was very hurt that she felt like I was trying to put her down, so I was thinking, maybe if I go, maybe it can rectify that and she gets to stay, and she did! So, she's welcome. [Laughs]
How did things patch up with Kandy, Kahanna, and Alexis after the show?
I talked to some of them…. I had conversations with everybody, one by one, we were able to speak it out and get things off our minds and see what was going on and what we were feeling. That's where it all started once the season wrapped filming.
You're okay with all of them, now?
Absolutely.
What do you want fans to remember as your legacy on All Stars 8?
I do believe I showed everything I needed to show. The first time around, the thing holding me back was my outfits. I don't think I needed a whole redemption…. I don't think I had much to redeem, minus the outfits. I think I showed my growth, I allowed my talent to speak for itself, and that's what I needed. As far as a legacy of being remembered, I want people to take my story at the end, me leaving, and choosing my happiness over everything and my peace. Don't stay somewhere. If you're not happy somewhere, change that.
Does this mean we won't see Heidi on more seasons of Drag Race?
I'm not going to say that. There's been a lot of healing in my family, there's been a lot of time for me to reflect and heal myself as well. If, one day, they call upon Heidi like, "We'd love to have you back on something," don't be surprised if she shows up.
This interview has been edited and condensed for length and clarity.
Subscribe to EW's Quick Drag podcast for recaps of RuPaul's Drag Race, including reactions with the cast, special guests, and more.
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