Introducing “Dear Remy,” Lessons from a Hollywood Career Coach

“An OnlyFans Page for my feet?”

Dear Remy,

I was in a movie that had a very languorous shot of my feet. During shooting, I thought nothing of it, but now I have found that there is a grim corner of the internet that discusses my feet at length, to the point where, when you enter my name into Google, it autocompletes with the word ‘feet’.

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I am by no means a precious person. I would happily take part in a comedy roast. But there’s something about this fascination with my feet that makes me feel… compartmentalized. For all my training and craft, the world only looks at me as a pair of pads.

Is it time for me to do an avant-garde psychological drama, or should I just give in and set up an OnlyFans page for my feet? My agent keeps encouraging me to have more of an online presence, after all.

illustration of Remy Blumenfeld
illustration of Remy Blumenfeld

Dear Fetishized,

It’s important to retain a sense of humor (which you clearly have) about how audiences can claim ownership of you. Yet, under your jesting, I sense your discomfort.

Would you feel differently, do you think, if it were other extremities that were being objectified? Say it was your ears or your fingers? I hear eyebrows are du jour right now.

Are you perhaps more concerned about what family members, friends or partners may think when searching your name? And can you take back some control here by warning your loved ones that the results may be… podiatrically focused?

Feet have always featured in art — from Caravaggio to Henry Moore. Would you tell Rembrandt to upload his ‘Woman Bathing Her Feet at a Brook’ to OnlyFans?

Your followers will always want a piece of you. Might it be more productive to laugh it off, as you are attempting to do here, knowing that objectification is just one of the many costs of fame?

“Agenting on the tiny screen”

Dear Remy,

As a long-time agent for on-screen talent in movies (with a string of A-list stars on my books), I feel like should be riding high. My clients have had a great few years and we are meeting many of their targets, which brings me deep joy.

However, there is one aspect of my job to which I cannot seem to reconcile myself — and that is encouraging my clients to be active on social media. The CEO at our agency is intent that all on our roster should have active Instagram accounts, and even be exploring BeReal, or Snapchat. It has proven a nightmare for me, as I’ve now had to become fluent in memes across the latest TikTok trends, and find myself constantly talking my clients through the camera settings on their phones. I am told it is a “necessary evil.”

This isn’t what I got into the business to do. I feel it trivializes my clients. Should I persevere and make my peace with the tiny screen, or leave the industry for good?

Dear Nomophobe,

Unless you are sufficiently resourced to pivot into animal husbandry, my professional advice would be to “use the obstacle” — which in a big way, you already have: You’ve become fluent in memes and you’re conversant with TikTok trends, Insta and Snapchat. An understanding of content is essential for any venture you undertake next. But do you really need to leave agenting? After all — alpacas are very popular online, so I fear even if you did follow this particular dream, you’d still end up a slave to social media.

You say you feel that talking clients through camera angles trivializes them, but isn’t it your own professional standing that risks being diminished here?

As a veteran agent with A-list clients, why are you doubling as their social media manager? It’s not appropriate or cost-effective. Why not promote a Gen Z-er from the mailroom to Social Media Administrator, and next time a client needs a TikTok tutorial, send them down the hall?

“Lost in a dark part”

Dear Remy,

I spent a large part of 2023 filming a reboot of a classic movie. It has skyrocketed my profile and was creatively freeing, but I also fear I have “lost myself” in the part. I played an unflinching bully, and I think it has unlocked something in me. Something dark.

Since we wrapped, I find myself intent on breaking the spirit of anyone unfortunate enough to cross my path.

My driver won’t talk to me, all because I compared his driving style to the “It’s a Small World” ride. My personal chef hasn’t returned to work since I remarked that I could find better sliders in the dumpster at Wendy’s.

And my PA began giving me the silent treatment the day I told her her new jacket made her look like a Walmart-brand Christmas tree.

The truth is: I think I enjoyed all of these conversations.

As a young actor in Hollywood, I’ve been asked to bend and mold myself to the whims of the industry. I worry this is me “kicking back.” Is there a healthier way I can channel this incursive impulse?

Dear Unflinching Bully,

As you have the self-awareness to suggest, these outbursts could well be you kicking back after years of suppressing your anger at the industry.

We often think of anger as a “bad” emotion, but anger is a useful, necessary and powerful energy.

It should not be blocked or pushed aside. Equally, it’s not appropriate or fair for you to vent at paid underlings, like your PA or your driver.

There are plenty of other outlets for your rage that won’t lead to an employment lawsuit and/or you being cancelled. Why not let out your fury at the Tinseltown machine by kickboxing, beating your mattress with a baseball bat, or screaming obscenities at the Hollywood sign at 3 am?

Remy Blumenfeld is a veteran TV producer and founder of Vitality.Guru, which offers business and career coaching to high performers in media. Send queries to:

Questions edited by Sarah Mills

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