Jessie Ware on Making Sex-Positive Music, Marriage and Motherhood: 'I'm All These Things' (Exclusive)

The British singer-songwriter dropped her latest album, That! Feels Good!, on Friday

Jessie Ware hasn't left the club yet.

The British singer-songwriter dropped her fifth studio album, That! Feels Good!, on Friday — and it picks up where her acclaimed last LP, the disco masterpiece What's Your Pleasure?, left off.

"I was so determined to not make What's Your Pleasure? 2.0, because I didn't want people to compare, so I felt like I needed to do a different kind of dance record," Ware, 38, says of her genre-bending new album, which incorporates everything from soul and funk to French house. "I think people have always kind of struggled to give me a genre because I have so many different references in there, and I quite like that. Above all, it's supposed to be a dance groove record, but there are many different influences; there's Teena Marie, Prince, Earth, Wind & Fire, Rotary Connection, B-52's, Blondie — it's all in there."

Before the release of That! Feels Good!, PEOPLE caught up with Ware about making timeless (and sexy) music, working with Harry Styles and Kylie Minogue and balancing family life with life on the road.

"I feel like I finally found my feet and my place in music and what my direction is, and that's given me real confidence," Ware says. "I want my music to last longer than me, and I want to be able to tour my records for a very, very long time. I want to be 60, 70 touring What's Your Pleasure? and That! Feels Good! and all the rest!"

For more on Jessie Ware, pick up the new issue of PEOPLE, on newsstands everywhere Friday.

What's Your Pleasure? came out in 2020, at the height of the Covid crisis. When did you start putting That! Feels Good! together?

I started this at a quite weird time in the world. It was in the pandemic — where you're still kind of locked down — and I don't know whether the restrictions were that you could work with a certain amount of people or whatever. My friends couldn't fly over yet from the States, so we were working on Zoom, which I never want to go back to, but we managed to make it work.

But it did work because they were my team from What's Your Pleasure?, and I think I had a quite clear direction of what kind of music I wanted to make. So we settled in quite quickly and made songs like "Begin Again" and "That! Feels Good!" Actually, the majority of the record was probably done over the computer.

I think this record is slightly more bright and happy and jubilant than What's Your Pleasure? was. And it represents where I'm at, my career, life, how I'm feeling without feeling kind of smug about it at all.

Why do you feel like you're in such a great place today? Where does that confidence come from?

It was really off the back of, I think, the success of What's Your Pleasure? and feeling like I was very in control of that record and decisive, and it paid off. But it was such a triumph that it propelled me to feel that I could do the same again and trust my instincts. And I have a really successful podcast that I get to do alongside touring and singing. I have a family. I can't really complain at all. I try and balance it out. Sometimes that's probably the hardest thing, to balance out all the different things. But it feels really satisfying.

Your podcast with your mom has taken on a life of its own. You come from a journalism background — what's it like to be on the other side of interviews again, asking the questions?

I realize that when I meet journalists how much I'm not a journalist because I do so little prep for our podcast, but it seems to work, and I don't really want to try and fix it because I feel like it's working. So if I try and then over-research, maybe it will lose something. Maybe that's just the lazy girl in me saying that.

Have you had a favorite guest?

We had Pink recently, who was just phenomenal. I was pretty starstruck because I've watched her documentary [All I Know So Far, on Prime Video]. That's how I really hope I can tour one day. I'm fascinated by her. She's amazing.

You have three young kids, ages nearly 2 to 6. Do they come along when you tour?

It really depends on what the run is. I took them out of school for a little bit because I'd been touring in the summer in the festivals, and my daughter was starting to get really frustrated with me going away every weekend. I went and did the Harry [Styles] shows for two weeks on my own. My husband [personal trainer Sam Burrows] flew the kids out to L.A. on his own, bless him, and we had a couple of weeks together, and then I carried on, and that worked. But that's not always going to be the case. It's really hard. I think they're just going to, sadly, have to get used to Mommy being in and out. I think my max will probably be two and a half, three weeks. But I don't want to get in trouble with their schools either! And I want them to be able to be kids and have a life, too. It can't revolve all around me. It's a constant kind of struggle of trying to balance it.

Do they understand what you do? Are you a rock star in their eyes?

My daughter's starting to understand about fame a bit, but I think she gets slightly confused when people come up to me — and people are always really sweet. She's very proud of me. I'm probably going to take her to a festival that I'm doing as a little trip for us together to Ireland. My son, the middle one, I think he doesn't really understand yet. I think they think that I have loads of jobs and that's what they should have when they're older. But no, they don't think I'm a rock star at all.

And you've been with your husband since you were teenagers. How have you grown and evolved together?

I think I'm able to be grounded because he's incredibly kind and supportive, but he also won't stand for bulls---. I'm sure there's been plenty of times where I've tried to play the diva card, and he's been like, "What are you doing? Enough." He's interested enough in my life, but kind of not that interested, which suits me because when I come home, I just want to not think about work. He's known me forever, so I can't get away with s---. But yeah, above all, he's very understanding.

Do you have an alter ego when you're performing?

I think if you've listened to the record, there's definitely an alter ego. I haven't named her yet, but she comes out in "Shake the Bottle."

I was going to say — are all those sexual conquests in "Shake the Bottle" real?

Come on, I've been with my husband for 20 years! [Laughs] But it's fun. I think it's fun to put on an outfit. Whereas my mask, before, would be a strong suit and some makeup and a double hair bun in the first record; now, it's characters. Creating characters has opened up songwriting and storytelling for me. It's inspired by people like Grace Jones, RuPaul, B-52's. It's meant to be fun. And it is quite camp.

And your music is very sex-positive.

It's funny — it's like I'm having sex all the time. I'm definitely not! I'm really quite prudish.

Where does that come from then?

Probably wanting to have sex more! [Laughs] But there's power in feeling confident and proud of who you are. I think I feel very comfortable with myself. And so it's about pushing it a bit further. And I think that that's probably something that I've had to tell myself to be, and now I've said it enough times, it's drilled into my brain being sex-positive, and it's fun. It's what I enjoy writing about. It's what I think other people enjoy, too. It's not meant to be taken too seriously. It's meant to be enjoyed, with a nudge-nudge, wink-wink, you know?

There's a line in "Pearls" that says, "I'm a lady / I'm a lover, a freak and a mother." I'm curious, is that because when you have kids, society kind of says you can't be a sexual being anymore?

I think you're right. I mean, I've never thought about it like that... It's almost like a rebellion against all the kind of stereotypes we're given as being mothers, as being women in music and mothers — and me to own it. And whilst I try to own it in album three [2017's Glasshouse], where actually I was really struggling trying to straddle both worlds, now I'm like, "Take it or leave it. This is me, and I feel good, and I know what I'm doing." It felt quite fun and powerful to say that. And I do wear many hats, so it felt right to have a nod to all of them; I'm all these things.

How has becoming a mom changed your songwriting and artistry?

I think it was a struggle at the beginning for me to find how I navigate, but I think me stepping away from autobiographical music actually has strengthened me. And that's not to ignore who I am and what I am, but I didn't feel like the need to tell everybody about everything of my life and for me to play dress up and for me to tell a fictionalized story felt more fun. I'm so proud to be a mother, but I didn't feel like I needed to tell everybody about it; especially after Glasshouse, I felt like I did that, and people didn't want to know. So in a song like "Pearls," it's just a nod — it's an acknowledgment that I'm all these things, and I'm feeling great about it, and I'm very proud.

You're promoting the album, but what's next? What goals do you have now?

I feel comfortable being in music now. And I think I always felt slightly fraudulent before feeling I didn't know what I was doing enough. I really enjoy it, and I'm reveling in the creative process of the live shows. I really want to keep on making steps to make myself really recognized as a really important live artist. I love performing, and I've got better at performing. And I love that I can combine musical theater with music, with dance. It's fun. I'd like to keep on pushing the shows and being able to actually really make touring work for me. That's a tricky situation where it's really hard to tour. And also I have a family that I can't be on the road for a year. It's not feasible. So it's about being really clever with how I do it — that I can also get to all the places that want me — and be sensible about that.

Speaking of touring, you opened for Harry Styles last year. What did you take away from that experience?

Just being a small part of that moment for Harry, to be a fly on the wall, was really fascinating. It's an amazing world he's created, and his fans are phenomenal. He's brilliant, he's a great performer, and I just learned how he runs a really tight ship, but there's so much warmth within his camp. Zero ego. And I think when you are the biggest pop star in the world? Respect to him, because he had time for every single one of the people that were in my crew; he introduced himself. He's a good guy, and he's really talented and I'm really impressed by him, but also incredibly proud of him. We've known each other for years, very much just seeing each other at the Brits or at parties, and he's always had time for people. He's just a really wonderful guy and he deserves all the success.

You've also had some incredible collaborations. What was it like working with Kylie Minogue on "Kiss of Life"?

She was my first concert that I ever went to. She's fantastic. There's a reason she's been around for four decades in music. She's professional, she knows what she wants, she's really clever, and she's a really nice woman. She was so kind to me on the music video [set]. I had a 9-week-old baby, and I had to go and do this night shoot, which I definitely fought with the director about. I was like, "Do we really have to do a night shoot?" It was this particular place, and Kylie did far longer hours than me, and she was such a cheerleader when I got on set. She was like, "Come on, Jessie!" It was like three in the morning. She was just phenomenal. I saw her work ethic. Then I did a live TV show with her and saw how she can just pick up choreo like that. Whereas I've been doing it for a day.

You've become a gay icon. What does the LGBTQ community mean to you?

They have made me a better artist. They've given me confidence from their bravery and strength. I feel like I made What's Your Pleasure? for my queer following. And I feel like I've been repaid with this — which wasn't meant to be what was happening — but with this influx of new people, predominantly queer. And it's given me such confidence as a performer, an artist. And the fun of it all... I mean, when I was making What's Your Pleasure?, I was watching loads of Pose, watching lots of Drag Race. And I think assuming a character was subconsciously probably because of these influences. I'm very grateful to the queer community. I'm very protective of them, and I feel very lucky that they've allowed me in and celebrated me.

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