Jill Halfpenny fights tears as she opens up on losing partner and dad in heartbreaking interview

Jill Halfpenny, known for her time in EastEnders and as a winner of Strictly Come Dancing in 2014 has boldly spoken about the grief she has faced after losing her partner Matt Janes to a heart attack in 2017, when he was 43 years old. In a similar tragic fashion, she lost her father, Colin, also to a heart attack, back in 1979, when Jill was just four years old.

The much-loved actress appeared on Lorraine Kelly's breakfast show to share how she has decided to use her personal experiences with sadness to assist others dealing with comparable heartache, by penning a potent, new book.

As they discussed the book, Lorraine noted: "I read it all in and it is absolutely extraordinary. It's obviously your story and you were honest about it but it is also just filled with really good advice. Going back you were just a baby when your dad died."

Jill openly shared: "Yes I was four. It was in 1979 and we were in the North West of England and my mum was left with three girls to bring up on her own. We just got on with it."

She added insight into past approaches towards painful moments, saying: "It was kind of thought of back then that if we don't mention it then it will be easier and if we don't bring it up it won't upset people but it's different now, we talk about things.", reports the Mirror.

Explaining how the ordeal impacted her, Jill expressed: "Most of the book is about how it affected me because grief has to go somewhere, and if we are not talking about it and if I wasn't able to express it then it became very internalised so I then became a very active kid because I didn't want to sit on my own in discomfort."

Lorraine highlighted: "You were the life and soul of the party and you liked to drink and you were drinking too much but you recognised that and I completely understood people who are going through grief turn to booze - I get it."

An emotional Jill shared: "For me, as you know in the book I say that I lost my partner as well. I had stopped drinking years before I met my partner, Matt, so for me, thankfully when I lost him it wasn't an option (to drink) because I learned a lot by then and I knew that if I already felt bad then I don't want to fill myself up with alcohol and that's not a judgement on anyone."

Holding back tears, she continued: "He (Matt) left the house to go to an exercise class and never came home. This is the thing that I learned from losing my dad, I could not side-step grief and I could not go around it, I had to go through with it because I didn't want to repeat what I went through with my dad and I have to feel things.

"Grief is so overwhelming and so powerful and it really is a scary feeling but I just kept telling myself that it is ok and it's ok to feel all the feelings. I was very open with my son and I said to him that there are going to be days where I struggle but I promise you that I will be ok."

Jill has recently opened up about finding love again after Matt's passing. Lorraine remarked: "You have gone on to meet someone else, you've got a lovely man in your life and your son has got a father figure in his life and you mentioned that before Matt died he said that he wanted you to be happy."

Concluding the interview, Jill added "He did. One night we were sitting on the sofa and he said if anything happened to me I really would love you to meet someone and love again."

"It was a disturbing conversation because it felt like he knew something. I wish I could tell you that I was happy about it but I panicked because I could see something in his eyes and my dad said something similar to my mum and I could see that he was giving me a sign."

Lorraine airs weekdays at 9am on ITV.