Jill Halfpenny opens up on partner's tragic death and grieving her dad dying when she just 4

Jill Halfpenny has opened up about the death of her partner Matt Janes and how his passing helped her grieve her late father. The Byker Grove actress, 48, felt 'cursed' when she lost Matt in 2017 to a fatal heart attack that mirrored her father Colin's death four decades earlier.

Colin passed away at the age of 36 after he had a heart attack when Jill was just four years old. Jill has now revealed that losing Matt, who was aged 43, in the same way forced to confront grieving her father.

The former EastEnders star appeared on Wednesday's episode of The One Show (June 19) to speak about her new memoir A Life Reimagined that details her experiences with grief. During her interview with Alex Jones and Lauren Laverne, Jill explains that when her dad passed away during the 1970s she "just got on with it" rather than dealing with grief, which had "some lasting effects".

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Jill added: "In 2017 I lost my partner to similar circumstances and I just felt at the moment that what I really needed to do was just feel all the things that I had never really dealt with when I was younger.

"I just really wanted to go through the full experience and I just instinctively knew that if I was to put it away in a little box it was just going to get bigger and scarier. So I spent the last 7 to 8 years trying to process everything and I feel like I've learned.

"Grief is so scary and it's so isolating, there is a tendency to want to lock yourself away". She then sweetly explains that she hoped her book will help others that are struggling to know "It will be ok" as she also confirmed that she is now in a new relationship.

Speaking to The Sunday Times Magazine about her new book, A Life Reimagined: My Journey of Hope in the Midst of Loss Jill recalled the day Matt died, how she was woken up by him as he headed to a spin class.

The pair were trying for a baby and shared a final loving glance as Jill shuffled to the bathroom to pee on an ovulation stick. The actress went back to sleep before she was woken up to bangs on her front door and turned to see she had 17 missed calls.

She ran to Matt's gym in Crouch End and found him lying on the ground. Attempts to revive him were unsuccessful. The first person Jill called was her mother, who knew the scenario all too well.

"I was ringing her with the news about Matt but I was still thinking about her, that she knows exactly how this feels,' Jill said. "And I could hear it in her voice, I could hear that she knew I was about to go on that same journey.'

Determined not to shut down completely and lead a 'miserable' life from therein on in, Jill vowed that this time she would not 'bury her grief' and set about learning how to mourn Colin.

Jill Halfpenny's book A Life Reimagined: My Journey of Hope is on sale from June 20.

The One Show airs at 7pm on BBC One and BBC iPlayer

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