Joe Lycett has written a humourous letter to Suella Braverman in the wake of her controversial comments that “simply being gay” is not reason enough to claim asylum.
Last month, the home secretary faced widespread criticism after declaring that fearing persecution due to sexuality should not be enough to gain protection under international law.
Among her critics were Elton John and his husband David Furnish, who released a statement to The Independent last week calling for “more compassion, support and acceptance for those seeking a safer future”.
On Wednesday (4 October), Lycett, 35, shared his own response on social media, with a parody letter released “for the attention” of Braverman.
The comedian, who has previously insisted that he is a “very right-wing” supporter of the Tories, adopted the tone of a fervent fan of Braverman’s as he joked that he was in awe of the minister, her work and her “gall”.
“Dear Home Secretary,” he wrote. “I am contacting you on an urgent matter as I was very interested to read your claim that asylum seekers are attempting to abuse the immigration system by pretending to be gays (sometimes known as batty boys). I too am disgusted by men pretending to be gay and think we should weed out this scourge from our society.”
Explaining that he too believed in “bold and radical change”, Lycett, who is pansexual, explained that he had “devised a plan” to eradicate “fake sausage-noshers” and reduce asylum applicants.
“All immigrants will be excluded from the United Kingdom UNLESS they can prove they are gay (to me),” he continued. “With my newly registered company Homo Hunters, I will spearhead this project to reduce the bumbardment [sic] of immigrants and enmesh our island with foreign homosexuals.”
Lycett explained that the plan carried importance unlike “unimportant contracts like PPE procurement” or RAAC concrete in schools, which he referred to as “making classroom roof beams out of mint chocolate Aeros”.
His qualification stem from years spent “investigating fake gays” on Instagram, the Late Night Lycett host explained, writing: “The full ass-essment criteria I will use is trademarked but I am happy to disclose one tactic in this letter.”
Here, he joked, applicants will be offered a Lady Gaga CD, a fleece from Marks and Spencer’s Blue Harbour range, and “a naked twink called Carlos (or Steve)”.
“If the applicant tries to have sex with any of these things, they will be determined gay and warmly welcomed into the country,” Lycett’s letter read. “If they attempt to wear the M&S Blue Harbour fleece, mention crypto, VPNs or MMA, they will be inhumanely destroyed.”
Pointing out that “naysayers” may criticise Braverman’s stance on immigration as the child of immigrants herself, Lycett added: “Just because you or your family have benefitted from a system doesn’t mean that system should not be smashed to bits.
“For example I am vehemently against people pretending to be gay simply to achieve a better life, despite that being exactly what I did to progress in showbusiness.”
The letter was signed off: “I look forward to hearing from you GURRRRRL. Padam padam, Joe Lycett.”
The Independent has contacted Braverman’s office for comment.
Joining John and Furnish in criticising Braverman’s comments in September, Sir Ian McKellen told Channel 4 News that her words remarks were “laced with a good dollop of prejudice” and part of a tilt at a Tory leadership bid.
Despite senior Tories warning that the home secretary’s incendiary claims would cost the party votes at the next general election, Braverman she doubled down, claiming there were “many instances” of asylum seekers pretending to be gay in order to “game the system”.
However, she was challenged to provide evidence after Home Office statistics showed sexual orientation formed part of the basis of just one per cent of all asylum claims in 2021.