Mark Kelly and Gabby Giffords on Their IVF Journey: 'Freedom to Start a Family Is Under Threat' (Exclusive)

In an exclusive essay for PEOPLE, the married Arizona lawmakers share how a gunman stole their dreams of having a child together — and why they fear politicians will do the same to other families

<p>Kevin Dietsch/Getty</p> Former Rep. Gabby Giffords and Sen. Mark Kelly at a November 2022 political event

Kevin Dietsch/Getty

Former Rep. Gabby Giffords and Sen. Mark Kelly at a November 2022 political event

Our lives changed forever on January 8th, 2011, when a gunman opened fire at a "Congress on Your Corner" event in Tucson. Six lives were lost, many more were injured, and Gabby was shot in the head. Of everything that changed that day — both of us halting our careers, the beginning of a long, difficult road to recovery — we also lost something we wanted very much: the opportunity to have a child together.

The shooting happened on a Saturday morning. Two days later, we were supposed to have an appointment at Bethesda Naval Hospital in Washington, where Gabby had been receiving fertility treatments, to have our embryos implanted to try to begin a pregnancy. Like a lot of folks, we got married a little later in our lives. One of us had two beautiful daughters from a previous marriage; one of us had never had kids. We wanted to grow our family together and were fortunate enough to be able to pursue the only option for us: in vitro fertilization, or IVF. Gabby never made it to that appointment.

Related: Gabby Giffords Opens Up About Hobbies, Marriage and Why She 'Won't Back Down' in New Documentary

<p>Office of Senator Mark Kelly</p> Gabby Giffords and Mark Kelly on their wedding day in 2007

Office of Senator Mark Kelly

Gabby Giffords and Mark Kelly on their wedding day in 2007

These past few months, as we’ve seen reproductive freedoms increasingly under attack in the absence of the protections of Roe v. Wadeour hearts break for the couples who, all of a sudden, can’t decide for themselves how and when to start their family.

The IVF process is extensive and expensive. In order to create a viable embryo, women must inject hormonal medication to increase egg production and then have those eggs retrieved. It’s invasive, and many women experience pain and uncomfortable changes in their bodies. Still, for many couples who struggle to become parents, IVF is the safest — or in some cases only — option to achieve their hope of becoming pregnant.

<p>Kevin Dietsch/Getty</p> Former Rep. Gabby Giffords and Sen. Mark Kelly at a November 2022 political event

Kevin Dietsch/Getty

Former Rep. Gabby Giffords and Sen. Mark Kelly at a November 2022 political event

With everything the shooting forced us to leave behind, we weren’t ready to let go of our dream of having a child together. But eventually, we had to. That loss was its own agony.

We don’t dwell on what could have been. Gabby’s philosophy is “Move ahead,” and that’s what we did to rebuild our lives and find our purpose after what happened to our family. We have a vibrant family we love, including a granddaughter who brings us so much joy.

Related: Sen. Mark Kelly and Former Congresswoman Gabby Giffords Welcome First Grandchild: So 'Proud'

mark kelly / twitter Sen. Mark Kelly and Rep. Gabby Giffords welcome their first grandchild
mark kelly / twitter Sen. Mark Kelly and Rep. Gabby Giffords welcome their first grandchild

Make no mistake: The freedom to start a family with IVF is under threat. In Alabama, a decision from the state Supreme Court made IVF virtually impossible for a period of time. In Arizona, the state legislature passed a law that would have threatened access to IVF in our state if it hadn’t been for a veto by Gov. Katie Hobbs. In Washington, the majority of House Republicans are cosponsors of a fetal personhood bill that, if signed into law, would endanger access to IVF for every American.

Our dream of having a child together was taken away by a gunman. The dreams of Americans to have a child together could be taken away by politicians.

Related: What the Alabama Supreme Court Decision Means for a Florida-Based PEOPLE Staffer with Frozen Embryos (Exclusive)

Yasin Ozturk/Anadolu Agency via Getty Protestors gather outside the Supreme Court after 'Roe v. Wade' is overturned in June 2022
Yasin Ozturk/Anadolu Agency via Getty Protestors gather outside the Supreme Court after 'Roe v. Wade' is overturned in June 2022

This isn’t happening by chance. It’s the result of years of anti-choice efforts and the appointment of judges by governors and presidents like Donald Trump who are hostile to reproductive rights. Donald Trump said himself that he “broke” Roe v. Wadewhich set off a series of attacks on reproductive freedoms.

Twenty states now have abortion bans, including Arizona, where our state has been in turmoil between two abortion bans, both of which endanger women’s health and threaten doctors with jail time.

And it doesn’t stop there. Last week, the Supreme Court threw out a case attempting to rein in approval of abortion medication also used to treat miscarriages. But this won’t be the end. Other states could and will again challenge mifepristone, just as state abortion bans are threatening to undo a federal law that requires emergency care for pregnant women when their lives are in danger, including abortion care if necessary. The right to birth control could very well be the next target.

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Despite this real threat, Republicans in Congress have multiple times in recent weeks blocked legislation that would protect access to IVF and contraception for all Americans. The truth is there is a real danger of our country moving backwards — even further than we already have.

Growing a family is never simple, even in the best of circumstances. We know that. When and how to do it is among the most personal decisions anyone makes. We know that, too. The government, whether its politicians or judges, has no business making those decisions for you. They should be yours alone.

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