Millennial woman gets ghosted after asking Gen Z ‘finance bro’ to do her taxes on first date

A woman has sparked a debate about the differences in dating between generations after she revealed she was “ghosted” by a Gen Z man before their first date.

Molly Rutter, a 32-year-old English teacher living in upstate New York, went viral on TikTok this week when she revealed that she was stood up by a 23-year-old “finance bro” who had promised to do her taxes on the first date. “Come with me to get ghosted then stood up,” she wrote over the viral video, which has since been viewed on TikTok more than three million times.

“I think I have a date tomorrow, my first date in Buffalo,” Rutter began the clip. “Homeboy is gonna help me do my taxes, and we’re gonna get some beer. Okay, sounds fun.”

However, the video then cut to Rutter one day later as she told the camera that her date had “ghosted” her. She explained that they had planned “to meet up at 5 or 6pm when I was done with my nap” but that he hadn’t texted her since 3pm.

Rutter expressed how she was “genuinely excited about this date” and was disappointed because it would’ve been her “first date in a while”.

“I hate dating in this generation,” she said. “You know, maybe it was my mistake because he was very young. I’m 32 years old, he was 23 and he did a very 23-year-old thing. And, to be fair though, anyone who’s even my age or older could still do the exact same thing.”

The TikToker then updated her followers that her date had accidentally fallen asleep. While Rutter had since made other plans with her friend, she invited the man to join her at a dog-friendly bar later that evening. “Dating is exhausting,” she noted.

Rutter showed herself walking to the bar with her two dogs in tow, as she explained how the change in plans meant that her date would could no longer help her with filing her taxes. “Originally, he was going to help me do my taxes – he’s a finance bro – but I realised I’m just going to file an extension,” Rutter told the camera, adding: “If this works out with him, maybe he can help me with my finances.”

She revealed that she wasn’t feeling nervous for the date, though later wrote over the clip that perhaps her “body knew he was gonna bail and saved me from any extra emotions attached to it”.

After Rutter arrived at the bar, she informed her followers that her date was running 15 minutes late, only to be followed by an hour late. “I tried to call him and it went straight to voicemail, so he’s probably dead, right?” she joked.

Ultimately, Rutter figured out that her date had ghosted her again, just “minutes before we were supposed to see each other”. As she walked back home, the TikToker explained how texting someone to reschedule a date – or to cancel it entirely – is far better of a response than simply ghosting them. “How hard is it to send that kind of text?” Rutter asked. “Unbelievable.”

Back at her apartment, Rutter speculated why the man had “bailed” on their date and wondered whether it had something to do with their previous text exchange. She explained that he had responded to one of her texts saying, “Okay, love.” She replied by telling him that it was too soon for pet names, considering he didn’t even know her own last name. She suggested that his behaviour over text message was “unattractive” and sensed he was being “passive aggressive” in his responses.

“It’s just frustrating because this occupied a lot of space in my brain today and I think that’s what really affects me, is that this occupied time and mental space for me and I hate when that is wasted on people who dont deserve it,” Rutter explained.

She then became emotional as she spoke about her mother, who she said died seven years ago, and expressed how she “wished [she] could call her” and tell her mother about the negative dating experience.

“You know what I think these tears are?” Rutter said. “I think I was really, really trying to hold this together and now it’s just pouring out of me, all the exhaustion and the emotions.”

Despite Rutter’s candid video, many TikTok commenters were less forgiving over Rutter getting “ghosted” by the 23-year-old man, and largely blamed her dating nightmare on their generational differences. In the comments section, some users claimed the pair had different communication styles due to their age gap.

“Girl he’s in a different generation,” one person commented, while another user replied: “Which is why the communication is so off.”

“The fact she’s not grasping his humour because she’s not in the same generation,” someone else claimed. “Crazy.”

Others were confused why they had planned on doing taxes as a first date, like one person who said: “Everyone commenting ‘23??’ is correct, but also letting someone you just met see your taxes???? That’s the craziest part to me.”

This isn’t the first time that singles have pointed out the differences between Gen Z and Millennials when it comes to dating. A 2022 study conducted by the dating app Happn revealed that a third of Millennials and Gen Z-ers are looking for love. According to researchers, the top five qualities that people are looking for in a partner include someone who is caring (40 per cent), kind (39 per cent), has a good sense of humour (35 per cent), is loyal (34 per cent) and loving (33 per cent).

However, an influx of dating apps has made finding “the one” a little more difficult. Between apps like Tinder, Hinge, and Bumble, many singletons have expressed how frustrating it can be to secure a date, considering each user’s romantic expectations are so widely varied.

The Independent has contacted Rutter for comment.