‘He must go to the most boring dinner parties’: Denise Welch on making Tom Cruise ‘cry with laughter’ with NSFW joke

Denise Welch has joked that Tom Cruise must attend “the most boring dinner parties” after a video of the Top Gun star laughing at her joke went viral.

Just days after he skipped the 2023 Oscars, Cruise was in attendance at Michael Caine’s 90th birthday in London last Tuesday (14 March).

Also at the event was Welch, who shared a clip to Instagram showing Cruise falling about with laughter as she told a “dirty joke” to the guests.

During Wednesday’s (22 March) episode of Loose Women, Welch recalled the incident to her fellow panellists.

Welch explained that she had been asked to speak at the event by Caine’s wife Shakira, saying: “[As] much as I was hugely flattered… there isn’t a story about Michael Caine that Michael Caine hasn’t told himself. So I was really stuck for it and I said, ‘Can I be a bit rude?’ and she said, ‘We want you to be a bit rude.’

“Shakira did a speech, fabulous. David Walliams did an amazing speech, very funny… And then Tom Cruise walked in. Bearing in mind there’s only 40 of us in this room and Tom Cruise is [Welch’s husband] Lincoln’s favourite actor.”

Welch said that she “didn’t really have many stories” about Caine, so ended up “personalising a few jokes and pretending that they’re about Michael and Shakira”.

“One of the stories was that as you get older, you start talking about age a lot,” she said, explaining how all the other guests began jumping in with their own lines about ageing.

“I looked around and Tom Cruise was literally crying with laughter and rubbing his face with a napkin and saying, ‘You’re killing it, you’re killing it.’”

Welch concluded: “So either I was particularly on form that night or Tom goes to the most boring dinner [parties] in the history of life.”

According to reports, Cruise missed the Oscars due to his shooting schedule for Mission: Impossible – Dead Reckoning Part II, which is currently taking place in the UK.

His absence was notable as Top Gun: Maverick was nominated for Best Picture. The sequel took home one award on the night for Best Sound.