The one word you should never use on a dating app

Photo credit: EMS-FORSTER-PRODUCTIONS - Getty Images
Photo credit: EMS-FORSTER-PRODUCTIONS - Getty Images

From Red Online

More people have downloaded and used dating apps since the beginning of lockdown than ever before. In fact, according to the BBC, in one single day in March, Tinder users made 3 billion swipes worldwide, the most the app has ever recorded in a single day. And, reported that the average number of daily messages sent across all of their dating platforms increased by nearly 30 per cent in April, compared with the end of February.

In short, dating apps and online dating is bigger business than ever.

However, according to new research by online dating platform Inner Circle, there is one teeny tiny word that threatens to undermine the possibility of new connections being made online. And that word, is 'hey'.

One in five (20%) conversations start with the word 'hey' and nine in ten (91%) dating app users have received this opening line – but it is failing to make an impression.

91% of singles say that a person's opening message is important, but Inner Circle's analysis revealed that just one in ten (12%) people starting a conversation with 'hey' will get a response.

A survey of 1,002 singles revealed that people go in with 'hey' because it’s easy (41%), polite (32%) and everyone uses it (31%).

Unfortunately, many recipients of this opening lines feel that it comes across as lazy. They say it lacks effort (68%) and makes them feel like the person is not really interested (45%). Others find it unimaginative (35%), unmemorable (25%) or boring (24%).

The research shows that men struggle the most, with 28% finding it hard to initiate conversations compared to 19% of women. It follows, then, that 77% of unimaginative 'hey' messages, leading to less dating success.

Photo credit: Westend61 - Getty Images
Photo credit: Westend61 - Getty Images

David Vermeulen, CEO and founder of Inner Circle, explains: 'It’s time to try more than “hi” and explore more personal, creative and spicy introductions. This will help singles impress more potential dates and meet their match.'

So, what should you use instead?

David has exclusively given Red Online his top tips for successfully starting a conversation on a dating app:

  • The most successful openers are witty or contain a personal message that shows you looked at their profile and have a genuine interest

  • Popular conversation starters include questions about what's happening in their pictures or where they are from as they show interest in getting to know the other person and encourage a response

  • The most popular compliments to strike up a conversation included ‘fun’, ‘hot’, ‘pretty’, ‘gorgeous’ and ‘cute’. Everyone loves a compliment and it implies that you've spent time looking at their profile and want to get to know them

  • Only 5% of people send emojis in their opening message – but they have still been relied upon by singles to build a rapport. The most frequently used emojis last year were: '😊 ☺️ 😃 😉'

  • While we want to show our best selves, it’s so important to be authentic. From your bio to your first message, think what comes naturally to you and how you'd like to be approached both online and offline

Subscribe to Red now to get the magazine delivered to your door. Red's latest issue is out now and available for purchase online and via Readly or Apple News+.

Like this article? Sign up to our newsletter to get more articles like this delivered straight to your inbox.

You Might Also Like