Yahoo News ‘Orange Is the New Black’ Season 4, Episode 9 Recap: How Blanca Got Her Groove Back
Warning: This recap for the “Turn Table Turn” episode of Orange Is the New Black contains spoilers.
Blanca Flores: rebel with a cause. Whether it’s the sadistic guards at Litchfield — and, oh, boy, are they proving to be exactly that — or the bully of an old woman she worked for pre-Litchfield, Blanca will only take so much malarkey before she starts a little revolution, no matter how loud or stinky she has to get.
To wit: While some of the women may enjoy the groping that happens during the Piscatella-ordered frisks in the Litchfield hallways — actually, only one women, Anita DeMarco, seems to enjoy them, but she does really enjoy them — Blanca is not among them. She even complains to her crew leader Maria that they need to do something about the guards’ handsy behavior, but Maria doesn’t see the issue as one worth making waves about. Blanca does, so she stops showering, figuring her personal unwashed fragrance of funk (she smells like “a skunk that OD’d on vinegar and died,” Maria says) will ensure that if she does get frisked, the guards won’t linger.
Blanca’s rebellious streak is a long one, it turns out. In flashback — where she had two distinct eyebrows! — Blanca worked for a crabby, demanding, manipulative elderly woman named Millie. Millie won’t even allow Blanca to take a shower without yelling at her. Millie has a nice, big, lakefront home, which she insists her daughter is after. Blanca suggests her daughter just cares about her, but Millie insists her daughter wants to put her in a nursing home just to get the house. Millie even tells Blanca, as a way of trying to keep her tethered to her, that she may leave her home to Blanca when she dies, just to spite her offspring. And that’s Millie at her most charming… she also demands Blanca cook her soup on the stove, because microwaving it doesn’t taste the same; she yells and bangs on the car window to interrupt Blanca when she’s talking to a friend; and, even though she knows Blanca’s name, she likes the name “Bianca” better, so that’s what she insists on calling her.
“That’s f–ked up,” says Diablo, Millie’s gardener.
And about Diablo… we learned in Season 1 he was Blanca’s boyfriend, the guy she used a hidden cell phone to text naked photos to (and receive nudies of him in return). She freaked out on a bathroom stall door when the phone went MIA (thanks to Piper).
We learn in flashback that Blanca and Dario (Diablo’s real name) became friends while he worked for Millie, though she ultimately fired him because she thought Blanca was paying too much attention to him and not enough to Millie. “He’s a person. And I’m a person,” Blanca tells her. “I don’t just live to work for you.” When Millie brings up possibly willing her house to Blanca, Blanca responds, “But I have to put my life and my hoo-ha in storage.”
Fed up, Blanca decides she’s going to change the dynamic of her relationship with Millie. Millie’s asleep in her bed one night, when she hears loud noises. She sits up and takes off her sleep mask to see Blanca having sex with Diablo in a corner of her room. And Blanca looks right at Millie the whole time. The next morning, Blanca looks happy and carefree as she brings Millie breakfast in bed — coffee microwaved, she points out — opens the blinds to let light into the room, and pulls out a pink outfit for Millie to wear.
Millie is no longer crabby or haughty or even vocal at all. She now looks afraid.
Back to the present, Blanca’s plan continues to work, and she tells her fellow Dominicans, “I’m a rebel genius, the Che Guevara of hallway groping,” as she advises them to use hot sauce, sardine can juice, rotten pudding from the commissary (that smells like “a fart died,” according to Pidge), anything else smelly they can find to make themselves unappealing to the groping guards. CO Stratman once again orders Blanca to shower, and she continues to defy him, dabbing some canned oyster juice behind her ears. He’s fed up with her “civil disobedience,” as she puts it, so when he smells her again as she’s leaving the cafeteria, he tells her to climb up on one of the tables, where she will remain standing until she obeys him… or until her knees give out.
He’s proud of his punishment, which even CO Dixon calls a “little Abu Ghraib-y,” but Stratman thinks he’s broken Blanca. Until she just waves at him from the table.
“I don’t know, dude,” Dixon tells him. “I feel like you mighta made a mistake.”
Elsewhere in Litchfield (and beyond):
* Maritza wants out of Maria’s drug business, but Maria has warned her that isn’t going to happen. So when quick-thinking Maritza sees Maria’s cousin in the woods near the guards’ houses (waiting to make a delivery or pick up), she points him out to the guards as suspicious, and they track him down and threaten him not to come near the property again. Maria suspects what Maritza has done and why, but Maritza explains the guards were on to her (“It was going to go jank any minute”), that she had to do something to protect them all from getting busted for the drug trade. Maria remains suspicious.
* Newbie CO Thomas Humphrey: psychopath. The guard has been tormenting Maritza, hinting to her that he knows she’s up to no good with the prison van. He threatens her again, telling her in Spanish that he’s on to her, and then eavesdropping while she and BFF Flaca play a game of “would you rather.” Guns to their heads, would they rather run over an old woman or swerve a car to crash into a wall? Guns to their heads, would they rather eat 10 dead flies or one live baby mouse? They both agree they’d hit the old woman, but while Flaca votes for the flies, Maritza says swallowing the mouse would be just like eating a giant jelly bean, so she chooses option B. Then again, she didn’t think she’d ever be forced to actually choose between flies and a mouse in real life, but… Humphrey. When Maritza drives the COs home after their shift the next day, he waits until everyone else jumps out and tells her he has something for her inside his cabin. She declines, but her eyes well up with tears when she realizes he isn’t going to allow her to say no. When she gets inside, the “would you rather game” has been set up on his table.
So, to really understand just what a freak he is, and why I now wish for him a fate I’ve previously only wished for TV characters like Joffrey and Ramsay Bolton, this had to happen: Humphrey had to collect a bunch of dead flies and place them neatly on a paper towel in the middle of his table. He had to get a baby mouse, one so tiny it doesn’t even have any fur, and place it inside a shot glass and set it on the paper towel. He did all this sometime before he left for work that morning, because it was already set up when Maritza walked into his home with him. And then he had to be thinking about what he was going to make her do all day. When she sees what he’s ordering her to do, she’s afraid, but tries to control the situation by pointing out to him that nothing is going on with the van, so he has nothing to hold over her head. And that’s when he kicks the crazy up a notch, cocks his gun and literally puts it to her head. And that’s the last we see of the two of them in this episode.
* The Cindy/Judy photo scandal has Piscatella in a tizzy, wondering how someone inside got a hold of a cell phone to take the pic. He orders a sweep of the prison, and puts Luschek in charge, which is amusing for many reasons — Luschek… in charge… of anything — but mainly because it was Luschek’s phone that Poussey used to take the picture of Judy planting one on Cindy. Judy asks Luschek if the payment has come in yet for the pic, but he’s more concerned that the photo will be traced back to his cell number, especially since Piscatella ordered the cell search. Judy is annoyed with his self-preservation fretting, telling him it’s a turn off. “Well, at least there’s that,” he says, surprising and displeasing Judy that he did not enjoy their blackmail sex.
Luschek, with the help of CO McCullough, does manage to locate a big box of contraband phones throughout the prison, which he turns in to Piscatella at the end of the day. Luschek tells him he even checked all of them to see if he could find the photo of Judy and Black Cindy, but it was not on any of the phones. “You should so clearly be working at a Game Stop,” Piscatella tells him.
* Red figured out Nicky is using again when she found out Nicky had stolen from her and traded the goods for drugs. Morello confirms Nicky’s use for her, though, but instead of getting angry and cutting her off, as Red’s done to her “prison daughter” in the past, Red breaks down when she finds a strung out Nicky in one of the shower stalls. “I failed you,” she tells her. “I should have been watching. I should have known you were in trouble,” Red says. “Then you got taken away, and now, look at you! You look like you’re dead already.”
“It was always hopeless,” Nicky says. “I am not your fault.”
“I played tough with Tricia, and now she’s in the prison cemetery, with her name spelled wrong,” Red sobs. “Tell me what to do, Nicky. I don’t know what to do.”
The next day, Nicky, having seen proof that someone cares whether she lives or dies, walks into Red’s kitchen office and tells her, “So here’s the thing… I’m going to get clean.”
* Piper and Alex have re-bonded after the crack smoking/murder confessing/hot poker branding experience they shared in the last episode. Now they just want peace… and a cheeseburger. Preferably one from Shake Shack. “I legit just teared up a little bit,” Alex says when Piper mentions the eatery where people have been known to stand outside in humid NYC summer temperatures in a line that snakes many deep just to get one of the juicy meat treats. The duo spots Bayley outside and ask him if he’d be willing to sneak two burgers in for them. He is, but for a price: He wants to collect on the, ahem, manual stimulation offer Piper made to him in Season 3 to get him to smuggle her used panties stock outside Litchfield. “They grow up so fast,” Piper tells Alex. Ultimately, after debating whether it’s worth it for them to debase themselves for a couple of sandwiches, they decide it is not, and Alex instead makes them two generic brand Spam and spray can cheese sammies instead. “Here’s to the off-brand Spam sandwich of righteousness,” Piper says.
* Sister Ingalls can’t even get arrested, or at least punished for a new infraction, and she is trying. She blatantly sneaks food out of the cafeteria, hoping to get busted by Coates, who just tells her to take it, even after she curses him out. She flagrantly smokes a cigarette in front of Luschek and CO McCullough, who tells her she’s been frisky and takes a puff off the cigarette herself. Sister’s plan is to get herself thrown in the SHU, where, with her secret cell phone (stashed “in a very uncomfortable place,” she tells Gloria), she will take a pic of Sophia and send it to Crystal, giving her evidence to try to get Sophia out of solitary confinement. It works; Sister finally gets the punishment she’s seeking when she punches Gloria in the mouth, and Gloria plays along to help Sophia. But when Sister Ingalls hits the SHU, her facial expression shows she didn’t really understand just how bad the SHU is.
Questions: We Got a Few
* How much money will that photo of Judy kissing Cindy really fetch? And can the women all trust that Luschek will a) tell them the real amount that’s sent to him, and b) really give them a cut of the cash? Sounds like a big game of blackmail just waiting to happen.
* When Blanca and Dario are getting to know each other, he tells her he was wild when he was younger, and spent some time in jail for armed robbery. She tells him she killed Millie’s husband, but they both laugh when she says “not really.” Anyone else thinking maybe, “yes, really”? Could that be how/why she eventually lands in Litchfield, because she did kill Mr. Millie and was caught later?
She Said, He Said
“Rent a bounce house in the shape of a frog.” — What Suzanne plans to do with her share of the Judy/Black Cindy kissing photo sale to Inside Weekly.
“I’m gonna follow D'Angelo around like them white people be following that band Phish, where they spell the word ‘fish’ wrong.” — Taystee’s plans for the Judy/Cindy photo payday.
“Now they’re asking for an extra hour on Thursday so that they can watch something called Bones, which is about a lady named Bones, apparently?” — Ouija, telling Maria the white inmates are requesting permission to get their Bones groove on, now that the Dominicans control the TV room. Maria tells Ouija to give them the time. She also tells her people to stop making other inmates move from tables in the cafeteria just for the sake of being jerks… Maria may be power tripping, but she wisely seems to want to avoid unnecessary drama. Not that she’s not prepared to take care of business: “If that Moroccan tweaker doesn’t pay us today, we start breaking fingers,” she also tells her cohorts.
“Pack me off to watch Wheel of Fortune and drool with other unloved old people. No, thank you.” — Millie to Blanca about her daughter’s push to get her to move into a retirement home.
“This food looks like something a walrus would regurgitate to feed its least favorite baby.” — Alex, describing the cafeteria eatings.
“You peanut-brained, fickle-hearted whore.” — Nicky to Morello. Nicky, back on drugs, goes off on her former lover about marrying someone else after Nicky was sent to Max. And it’s just part of Morello’s current woes; Nicky’s ticked off about Vince, and how Lorna won’t have sex with her because she’s married, but Vince has stopped coming to visit Lorna, and is ducking her phone calls as well.
“And I think you might have worms, so deal with that.” — A frustrated and hurt Morello, taking her anger out on one of Nicky’s drug sources, Angie, while also outing Angie as the Shower Pooper and giving her a health-related heads up.
“I have a shifty face. I come from shifty-faced people.” — Luschek, telling Judy why he thinks Piscatella suspects he’s involved in the Judy/Cindy photo scandal.
“It ain’t her fault the paps after her like a Jolie-Pitt baby.” — Black Cindy to Caputo, saying Judy had nothing to do with the sale of the photo of them kissing. Judy and Cindy both tell him that they’ve begun a relationship with each other. The “Judy Likes Chocolate” and “Queen of Cuisine Gay for Stay” headlines are true, they insist. “Jesus, Judy, give me a break,” Caputo says, and tells them if they’re lying to him, if he finds out they’re faking this affair to sell photos and rehab Judy’s public image after the Chitlin’ Joe kerfuffle, he’ll come down on them “like the wrath of Khan… I mean God.”
“He gets to feel s–tty for the rest of his natural life. Oh, and beyond, when he’s a tandoori skewer in Hell.” — Boo, about Coates, when Pennsatucky tells her Coates apologized for raping her and that she’s considering forgiving him. “If you go back to giving that maggot the time of day, I swear to f–kin’ God, Doggett, to God, I’m done with you!” Boo tells her, potentially fracturing one of the most unlikely, but fun, friendships of the series.
“Did you know you can get a Frappuccino there that tastes just like Fruity Pebbles?” — Morello’s sister, telling her about the meeting she had with Vince at Starbucks. Even though Morello begged her sister to meet with Vinnie and make sure he’s not cheating on her, she only gets more upset when her sis reports that he’s a nice, funny guy who just seems lonely. And when her sister tells her she wore a skirt to their get-together, Morello suspects her sister of doing something inappropriate with Vinnie.
“So, I said, ‘Now listen, you limey b—h… you steal one more recipe from me, and I’m gonna have to put you through the grinder attachment on your KitchenAid Professional Series Mixer.” — Judy, regaling new pals Black Cindy and Watson with tales of her friendship with Nigella Lawson. “We get high together sometimes and make out,” Judy continues, telling them Nigella has a dessert recipe called Caribbean Creams. “I named it for her breasts when she took off her bikini top one time in Turks and Caicos.”
“You’re like a cockroach, Diaz. When we’re all dead, you’re still gonna be crawling around the garbage, saying mean s–t to the other roaches.” — Gloria, assuring Aleida she’ll be fine when she’s released from Litchfield.
“This place could change her, you know? Turn her cold and mean.” — Aleida, commenting on what’s already starting to happen to Daya, when she asks Gloria to look out for her.
“So what’s gonna happen when your Dukes of Hazzard-lovin’ cracker fans see that photo? Their Frito pie’s gonna fall right outta their mouths.” — Cindy to Judy.
“I cannot believe that those posers just smoked us on the unspoken, interracial, prison couple power ranking… I’m not trying to sell us short or anything, but it’s like they’re Beyoncé and Jay Z, and we’re just Kim and Kanye.” — Soso to Poussey regarding Black Cindy and Judy.
“I swear, I mighta cleaned up my act if I knew I was gonna end up in a place with only network.” — Leanne, after Angie tells her about Breaking Bad.
Behind Bars:
* Fans of One Day at Time, does Blanca’s Millie look familiar to you? She’s played by actress Mary Louise Wilson, who was Ann Romano’s neighbor Ginny Wrobliki. She also played Uncle Junior’s romantic interest Catherine in the memorable Season 2 “House Arrest” episode of The Sopranos, and won a 2007 Tony Award for her performance in Grey Gardens.
* Yup, Fruity Pebbles Frappuccino is a thing on the Starbucks hidden menu. Recipe here.
* And yup, Nigella Lawson does have a dessert recipe called “Caribbean Creams.”
* Song that plays with the end credits: “F–k You,” by The Bug featuring Warrior Queen.
Orange Is the New Black Season 4 is streaming on Netflix.
Read more OITNB recaps:
‘Orange Is the New Black’ Season 4, Episode 1 Recap: Over Alex’s Dead Body
‘Orange Is the New Black’ Season 4, Episode 2 Recap: There’s Something About Maria
‘Orange Is the New Black’ Season 4, Episode 3 Recap: A Soso Episode
‘Orange Is the New Black’ Season 4, Episode 4 Recap: ‘I Know Everything That Goes on Here’
‘Orange Is the New Black’ Season 4, Episode 7 Recap: ‘That Sickness in Me’
‘Orange Is the New Black’ Season 4, Episode 8 Recap: Window Dressing
