'I planned to pay for dinner on first date – but refused after I realised she had lied'

She is dissapointed and mad at him
-Credit: (Image: Getty)

A man who refused to pay for dinner on a first date has received backlash.

The Reddit user claimed his date Photoshopped her snaps to appear more attractive online – and claimed she weighed more than she appeared on her profile.

The 28-year-old said he met up with a 26-year-old woman after chatting to her on a dating app and, excited about the prospect of a fun evening, wanted to look his best.

However when he got to the venue he realised the woman looked very different to her photos. He said: "Her profile had several pictures, and she looked quite fit, which is my type since I try to lead a healthy lifestyle myself.

"However, when I met her in person, she was significantly heavier than she appeared in her pictures. I'm talking about a noticeable difference, not just bad angles. I believe in honesty and felt misled, but I didn't want to embarrass her or make her feel bad, so I decided to just continue with the date. "

He says the conversation was "alright" but he wasn't physically attracted to her because she was 'heavier' than he first thought. So, rather than pay for her meal, he decided to leave her with the bill at the end of the evening.

He added: "I also didn't compliment her as I usually might because I didn't want to be dishonest about my feelings of attraction."

After dinner, the pair went their separate ways and he later received a series of angry messages as she expressed how upset she was over their date. He argued: "She was upset that I didn't pay for her meal or compliment her, saying it made her feel unattractive. She said it was the first time a guy didn’t pay for her.

"I tried to be honest and told her that her pictures were misleading and that I was not attracted to overweight women since it was my preference, which only made her angrier. She accused me of being shallow and a misogynist. However, she had a specific height requirement in her bio, which I find somewhat hypocritical.

"I'm all for paying on dates generally, especially when I enjoy myself and feel a connection. However, I don't like the idea of paying when I feel that someone hasn't been honest, or the date was just not enjoyable or the person was rude."

Wanting to know whether he's in the wrong, he took to social media to ask users for their thoughts. In response, one user said: "I wish men that claim to want a woman with an “active lifestyle” would just admit they want someone thin. I’ve been a thin couch potato. I’ve also run a marathon at 30lbs overweight. I wonder which of these he would prefer."

Another user added: "I don’t think my husband and I complemented each other on our first dates, we were spending too much time having fun talking and joking around to bother. I don’t know if I’ve ever complimented anyone on a first date, or even noticed if someone hadn’t complimented me. Who cares? You can tell if someone’s attracted to you or likes being around you. Show, don’t tell, etc."

A third user said: "I date both men and women. I’m also fat. Men are much, much, much more likely to have outright lies in their photos (like using a 15-year-old photo). Men just don’t know how to look at a picture of someone and gauge their physicality. I’ve never had this issue with women – it doesn’t matter how much you use angles, photoshop, etc – you can still tell when it’s a fat person trying to hide being fat."