Stephen Colbert Jokes Trump’s ‘Human Printer’ Should Put His Positive News ‘Right on a Slice of Bologna’ | Video

Stephen Colbert took his turn commenting on the Donald Trump aide making headlines as the “human printer” during his Thursday night monologue. It began with him noting that the campaign had taken down a video with a headline about a “unified reich” under Trump, which they had said was posted by a junior staffer.

The New York Times reported this week that Natalie Harp is the person responsible, both helping to run his Truth Social social media account and supplying Trump with printouts containing “mood-boosting news” the former president is often seen reading from. Colbert noted that Harp carries a portable printer that lets her quickly produce hard copies of articles for Trump.

“When she really needs his attention, she prints those positive news [stories] right on a slice of bologna,” Colbert joked, before miming Trump reading the news, sniffing it and licking it. He also continued a run of meat-related jokes that began earlier in the monologue, dropping additional hot dog references to the enjoyment of the crowd.

Colbert said it’s pathetic that it’s someone’s entire job just to print out compliments for their boss, claiming he’d never be caught debasing an employee just for an ego boost.

“Thankfully I’m the kind of secure, confident boss who does not need that — at least that’s what they’re saying in all my printouts,” Colbert said before summoning his own staffer pulling a wagon of printouts.

“Come on, look sharp, look sharp Maya. Daddy needs his happy page,” Colbert said as Maya handed him a sheet of paper. “Ah yes, another piece of great news about me. ‘Stephen Colbert is pre-approved for the Amtrak Guest Rewards Preferred Mastercard.'”

Harp has been all over headlines throughout Trump’s hush money trial. MSNBC anchor Chris Hayes noted that the former president often used these printouts and other devices to help keep him awake and active during the trial – “much like a child with an iPad at a restaurant.”

“The ex-president needs to be entertained during the less salacious portions of his trial,” Hayes said.

Watch the entire Stephen Colbert monologue above.

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