Succession out of context: the 100 best insults and lines from seasons 1 to 3


Succession season four is just around the corner: the final season of HBO’s smash hit show will premier on Sky and NOW on March 27.

While we’re thrilled to return to the world of the Roys and Waystar Royco, we’re sad it will soon all come to a close. And that means the end of the stinging, ultra-rude and outgrageous dialogue that the characters throw at each other with practically every line. We’re really going to miss it.

Here’s our pick of the best one-liners, insults and jokes from Succession seasons one to three.

Tom Wambsgans (Matthew Macfadyen)

Shiv Roy’s husband, and head of one of Waystar Royco’s divisions; a bit of a melt


“Greg, this is not f***ing Charles Dickens World, okay? You don’t go around talking about principles. Man the f*** up!”

“If I’m the king and you’re the queen, maybe it’s fine to f*** the odd peasant.”

“I can’t reveal my sources... Uh, but it’s Greg.”

“I’d castrate you and marry you in a heartbeat.” (To Greg)

“Are we talking to each other on the poop deck of a majestic schooner? Is the salty brine stinging my weather-beaten face?”

“You don’t hear much about syphilis these days. Very much the MySpace of STDs.”

“The man dying of thirst is suddenly a mineral water critic?” (To Greg)

“Europe! A nice bit of war-torn, spooky, anti-Semitic, vampire-y, authoritarian Europe.”

“Oh, don’t worry, Greg. It’s a nice safe space where you don’t have to pretend to like Hamilton.”

“I’ve got a d*** the size of a red sequoia, and I f*** like a bullet train.”

“Logan is gonna fire a million poisonous spiders down your dickie.” (To Greg)

“We’re like a sorority house. We’re in sync. I’m just vibing to your sexy window.”

“I got deep into the prison blogs about toilet wine.”

“Ooooh, but they’re not, in fact, receipts! Greg, you’re a criminal mastermind. What polyglot genius could ever hope to crack your impenetrable code?”

Kendall Roy (Jeremy Strong)

The second eldest Roy son; megalomaniac

 (HBO / Sky Atlantic)
(HBO / Sky Atlantic)

“Do YOU want to call your dad?”

“This just doesn’t work for me. So, f*** you and God bless.” (To Logan)

“I’m going to lock you in a golden cage, f*** you with a silver d**do, and pay you so much you sing whatever song I want.”

“You little Machiavellian f***.” (To Greg)

“I’m doing park coke? Are you f***ing kidding me? That is just perfect. I’ll be lucky if I have any f***ing nostrils left after this. If my septum falls out, I’m gonna make you eat my septum.” (To Greg)

“There he is, the Panic Meister cooking up his sweaty spaghetti.” (To Frank)

“You couldn’t get a job in a burger joint let alone a Fortune 500 without some nepotism.” (To Roman)

“On a dumb level, I’d like my Twitter to be off the hook.”

“I’m better than you. You’re, you know, I hate to say this because I love you, but you’re kind of evil.”

Roman Roy (Kieran Culkin)

The youngest Roy child; insecure and bit of a wrong’un


“My mom’s getting remarried to a bowl of porridge.”

“What the f*** is this obsession with milk? You know who drinks milk? Kittens and perverts.”

“I didn’t keep track of the exact number of expletives he used, Siobhan, OK? I’m not a f***ometer.”

“I’m dumb, but I’m smart.”

“Everything’s high risk if you’re a p***y.”

“It’s dirty, it’s weird, and it’s evidence of precisely the kind of disgusting liberal metro butt-love that makes our viewership angry enough to buy pharmaceuticals.” (To Shiv)

“Don’t open Pandora’s Box. There’s just more dicks in there.” (To Gerri)

“Aw, what’s wrong, you all wedgied up because Rhea stood on your back and worked your arms like an elliptical?” (To Shiv)

“What I think he meant to say was that he wished mom gave birth to a can opener because at least then it would be useful.” (To Kendall)

“Oooh nice vest, Wambsgans. It’s soooo puffy. What’s it stuffed with, your hopes and dreams?” (To Tom)

“You look like a d**do dipped in beard trimmings.” (To Stewy)

“My worry is that Kendall may come across as too cool and likable.”

“You look like a divorce attorney from the Twin Cities.” (To Tom)

“I’d lay you badly but I’d lay you gladly.” (To Gerri)

“Look at you, scanning for influence like a yuppie Robocop.” (To Kendall)

Shiv Roy (Sarah Snook)

Logan Roy’s only daughter; vain and cunning, but, somehow, an actual relatable human being


“Oh, a chapel. Do you think dad will be able to cross the threshold, or will he spontaneously combust?”

“Uh … Oh, hello? Is this the replicant department? Yeah, my meat puppet has stopped working.” (To Tom)

“So, send out the two cover stars for toxic male monthly, and, uh, why don’t we get Ted Bundy up there? Make it a three-way?”

“Cold and inhospitable. That seems to check out.” (Standing inside a giant replica of her mother’s vagina)

“Oh, what is that? Date Rape by Calvin Klein?” (Smelling Roman)

“That disingenuous little f***doll.” (About Kendall)

“Have you ever had a f***ing grapefruit without an agenda?” (To Marcia)

“Stop being a dirty, little pixie whispering swastikas in dad’s ear.” (To Roman)

“I thought that would’ve kinda been your dream, Rome. Me f***ing Gerri with your d***.”

“This is why you don’t hatch a plan with Connor, the first f***ing pancake.”

“Oh, you love showing your pee pee to everyone, but someday, you know, you’re actually gonna have to f*** something.”

Logan Roy (Brian Cox)

Chief executive of Waystar Royco; likes to say f*** off, cut-throat doesn’t cover it


“Romulus. When you’re laughing, please do it at the same volume as everyone else. We didn’t get you from a hyena farm.” (To Roman)

“She can’t hack the hate. Well, she can f*** off and enjoy her lily-white chicken flesh conscience working for a f***ing phone company.” (To Shiv about Rhea)

“I’m going to grind his f***ing bones to make my bread.”

“You’re a f***ing creep. I mean you — you went for three jobs, you didn’t get any of them. Your vineyard was a write-off. And now your trophy girlfriend is sucking some waiter’s d*** in Palermo, so now you’ve come crawling back, like a f***ing worm.” (To Frank)

“It was supposed to be choreographed. That was about as choreographed as a dog getting f***ed on roller skates.”

“People come to us because we don’t sell them on anything. No packet of f***ing bleeding heart, United Nations, Volvo, gender-bender horseshit.”

“Bring him up in the dumbwaiter like a f***ing hamburger.”

“Just text on your phone, ya bendy f***.” (To Roman)

“Karl, if your hands are clean it’s only because your whorehouse also does manicures.” (To Karl)

“He ate my f***ing chicken. What’s next? Stick his cock in my potato salad?”

“Oh, go on, go on. F*** off, you nosy f***ing pedestrians.”

“So sue me — my lawyer used to work for the justice department, who’s your lawyer? Mr F***ing Magoo?”

“What are you waiting for? A kiss? F*** off!” (To Roman)

“What have you had your entire life that I didn’t give you?”

Connor Roy (Alan Ruck)

The eldest Roy child, though everyone forgets it; embarrassing presidential candidate

 (HBO / Sky Atlantic)
(HBO / Sky Atlantic)

“I’m not saying I’d make a better CEO. That’s unsaid.”

“Sometimes I think I’ll never truly understand dad until I sh*t outside.”

“I look at your face and, no offence, but I see dead babies.” (To Gil)

“The butter is too cold! The butter’s all f***ed! You’re f***wads and you f***ed it! There’s dinner rolls ripping out there as we speak!”

“I’m the eldest son. And I must be considered, and I need to be taken into account.”

“I would like some suck-suck on my d***y d***.”

“Will you make me the happiest man slash most bulletproof candidate in the world?” (To Willa)

Greg Hirsch (Nicholas Joseph Braun)

Logan’s great-nephew, known as Cousin Greg; bit of a wet blanket

 (Succession Season 4 / Official Trailer / HBO Max)
(Succession Season 4 / Official Trailer / HBO Max)

“I was wondering, just, in your view do you think it’s possible to sue a person, a grandparent for example, in a way which is like… like in an affectionate way? That might convey, like, ‘I love you and I’m glad you’re a part of my life, but I am taking legal action against you’?”

“What am I going to do with a soul, anyway? Souls are boring. Boo, souls!”

“It’s not like they pre-poop them. It’s just a mental barrier.”

“I don’t know. Like, I’m against racism.”

“Some Guy with an undercut just called me ‘soy boy.’”

“Someone could fit through that window. A small person. An attack child.”

“Hey dude. Hope ur good. Just checking in. Any update on the burning?” (A text)

Stewy Hosseini (Arian Moayed)

Kendall’s old college pal; a venture capitalist and major thorn in Kendall’s side

“I feel like I’m taking a sh*t in the Guggenheim, y’all.” (Watching a meeting through its glass windows)

“I guess if you did have something deal-wise, it’s kinda like, dead in the water now, right? Kinda like the women who went on those cruises.” (To Kendall)

“Well, no, I mean if you jump out on someone on the road in the middle of the night, hit them on the head and shout, ‘I’m not ambushing you.’ It’s still a f***ing ambush.”

“We are a complicated coalition and Sandy’s the angriest f***ing vegetable.”

“F*** you, too, you pusillanimous piece of f***ing fool’s gold. F***ing silver-spoon asshole.” (To Kendall)

Gil Eavis (Eric Bogosian)

Democratic presidential candidate; principled to the hilt

“You can’t make a Tomelette without breaking some Gregs.”

“Have you ever used another human being as a footstool, Mr Wambsgans?”

“I don’t mean to make a big thing of this, but is it possible your father is the worst human being who ever lived?” (To Shiv)

Hugo Baker (Fisher Stevens)

One of Logan’s unscrupilous lackeys

“What’s it like being married to a man with two a**holes?” (To Shiv)

“They call Gil ‘Meth Head Santa,’ because he so rarely delivers.”

“Is Greg necessary?”

Willa Ferreyra (Justine Lupe)

Connor’s fiancée; an escort turned unskilled playwright

“At least I’m only getting f***ed by one member of this family.”

“F*** it! How bad can it be?”

Ewan Roy (James Cromwell)

Logan’s brother; has a seat on the board, hundreds of millions of dollars and somehow a conscience too

“The ‘Logan Roy School of Journalism’? What’s next, the ‘Jack The Ripper Women’s Health Clinic’?”

“My brother and his gang of crapulous shills”

Rhea Jarrell (Holly Hunter)

A former PGM CEO and former Waystar Royco CEO; bit of a schemer

“Shiv thinks she’s smarter than she is. Roman could actually be good, but not right now. Kendall is … I don’t know. It’s like you put him in a big diaper and now he can s**t himself whenever he likes.”

“The message would be, on behalf of the Pierce family, and the media organisation that it’s privately owned for 150 years, the message would be a typically balanced, nuanced, and objective ‘f*** off.’”

Gerri Kellman (J. Smith-Cameron)

General Counsel of Waystar Royco; Roman’s obsession

“Tom, it’s tough to have to tell you this, but I’m in a sexual relationship with your mother. She talks in her sleep.”

“You disgusting little pig. You’re pathetic. You are a revolting little worm, aren’t you? You little slime puppy. You’re revolting, Roman.” (To Roman)

Lukas Matsson (Alexander Skarsgård)

Founder and CEO of GoJo; even richer than the Roys

“Privacy, pussy, pasta.”

Frank Vernon (Peter Friedman)

One of Logan’s oldest colleagues; vice-chairman of Waystar Royco

“Sometimes when you were absent they used to refer to you as the calamari c*ck ring.” (To Kendall)

Cyd Peach (Jeannie Berlin)

She’s been running ATN news stations for longer than Roman’s been running his mouth

“We hire people who want to work here. And we serve a demographic of highly, highly intelligent viewers, who are really tired of being patronised elsewhere by latte-sipping douchebags with hundred-dollar haircuts.”

Lady Caroline Collingwood (Harriet Mary Walter)

Logan’s severely embittered second wife

“Actually, it’s quite good, your being the second-most important person at your wedding. Takes the pressure off.”

Succession season four premiers on Sky and NOW on March 27