Radke also told PEOPLE at BravoCon 2023 on Friday that he's found coping with the breakup "harder than my brother passing away"
Carl Radke wants to share his side of the breakup.
The Summer House star, 38, ended his engagement to castmate Lindsay Hubbard this summer and told PEOPLE at BravoCon in Las Vegas on Friday: “I firmly don't believe she was blindsided because we've had these conversations.”
In a since-deleted Instagram post from Sept. 14, the 37-year-old PR maven wrote that she’d been having “a hard time making sense of it all - with no answers or closure on why.”
Radke claimed that, when viewers see Summer House season 8, they “are gonna pick up on and see things from the beginning” that presented issues in his relationship with Hubbard.
“We had a really rough summer and I think people will see that,” Radke said. “But it just shows the gravity of the situation when I really deep down felt like I needed to have a conversation with her about where we were at in our relationship and moving forward with the wedding.”
The reality star denied rumors that he called production to film the breakup ahead of their November nuptials.
“I did not call production to set her up,” Radke said. “I don't decide what is being filmed on Summer House. I really don't. I just respond to what's being requested.”
Radke said the split has been “unbelievably emotionally hard for the both of us” and added that, “if there's a way I can make it all better in some capacity, I would do that.”
The Syracuse University alum has found it more difficult to cope with the breakup from Hubbard than the 2020 death of his brother.
“This has been harder than my brother passing away, I'm not even kidding,” Radke said. “It's been very, very painful and emotional.”
For more of PEOPLE's BravoCon coverage, click here.
Radke took the last few months, which he called “very challenging and difficult,” to “process and heal.”
“I've had to take some space and be quiet,” he continued. “This is the first time I'm talking in two months because I wanted to be respectful because it's painful for the both of us. There's still some closure and things I feel like that are gonna need to be figured out at some point. But I'm just on one day at a time. I'm just trying to just take care of myself.”
Radke showed up to BravoCon hoping to put his best foot forward.
“I'm hanging in here. Part of me is like, so proud to be here, a part of the Bravo family,” he said. “I've been on Summer House for eight seasons. I love our show, I love the network. I love our fans and I just wanted to come here and represent our show the best I could and hold my head high.”
During Friday’s Summer House panel with his costars, Radke announced he’d be returning to work with Kyle Cooke and Amanda Batula at Loverboy to help launch a nonalcoholic beverage and producing a movie.
“Focusing on my career is definitely a good way to heal and move forward,” Radke said.
Radke told PEOPLE that he’s remained sober in the wake of the difficult breakup.
“I have not picked up a drink,” he said. “I've not picked up any cocaine and those are the things that I have a major problem with. I'm really proud that I've been able to stay strong.”
Radke shared that he checked into a hotel room after breaking up with Hubbard and turned down a bottle of wine offered to him by one of the hotel’s employees who “saw how disheveled I was.”
“That was the strength I had in that moment to just say, ‘No, I can't,’” Radke said. “I'm proud of that. These are moments where it's really trying on your mental health [and] sobriety. I'm just trying to move forward with respect and focus on myself and try and live a happy life.”
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BravoCon 2023 is taking place through Sunday at Caesars Forum in Las Vegas.
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