'The Grand Tour's Sand Job is as puerile, immature, and brilliant as ever'
Jeremy Clarkson, Richard Hammond, and James May return on Amazon's Prime Video for more high-octane hi-jinks in what will be their penultimate adventure.
There was a double dose of good news for fans of Top Gear this week.
First up, Richard Hammond claimed that the BBC car show, which is currently resting following Freddie Flintoff’s terrible accident, would almost certainly be back one day.
Then, Amazon's Prime Video released the latest epic instalment of The Grand Tour, starring Hammond and his old Top Gear road men Jeremy Clarkson and James May.
Now, in case anyone was worrying that the trio may have finally grown up a little, I’m pleased to report that their desert-based adventure, which loosely follows the tyre marks of the legendary Paris/Dakar rally, is subtitled Sand Job. So, yes. They are still a bunch of giggling schoolboys.
I’m also delighted to tell you it’s up there with their best specials.
It’s a high-octane visual feast, with plenty of gags and banter to sustain you through its two hours and fifteen minute runtime. There’s even an A-Team interlude — theme tune and all — which will have amateur engineers and fans of naff 80s TV shows purring with delight.
Watch a trailer for The Grand Tour: Sand Job
The conclusion one might draw from Hammond’s comments, Top Gear’s current limbo and the fact this is their penultimate outing for Amazon is obvious, if a little fanciful. Namely? The BBC should surely swallow its po-faced pride and bring them back home.
At the very least the network should be looking to do the public a service by negotiating some sort of deal with Amazon that would allow the Beeb to show The Grand Tour to an even wider audience.
The BBC is fond of repeats, after all. And, ratings-wise, The Grand Tour would definitely do a good job for BBC1 or BBC2 on a quiet Sunday.
As for the longer term, is there any real reason why Clarkson, May and Hammond shouldn’t return and fulfil their BBC destinies — becoming the real-life incarnation of the three old blokes from Last Of The Summer Wine.
Let’s face it, if the recent furores over the likes of Ken Bruce, Sue Barker and poor Steve Wright are anything to go by, the BBC’s obsession with youth is not shared by a significant number of its fee-paying viewers.
For them, personality and chemistry are what counts. Even in its most tiresome, stunted-up moments, Sand Job proves Clarkson, May and Hammond still have bagfuls.
Their tour begins in the Mauritanian outpost of Choum, where the trio are waiting on the delivery of their latest souped-up supercars - a Jaguar, a Maserati and an Aston Martin.
You may have seen the amazing promo trailer featuring drone footage of one of the world’s longest trains arriving into Choum. Let me tell you, the full sequence is even more spectacular.
It will leave you wondering whether Mauritanian railways can possibly have any corners or bends, and it is just one of a number of breathtaking pieces of camerawork during the 135-minute Saharan marathon.
It’s not even close to being the best though. I won’t spoil things for you, but there is a scene near the end which is pure Hollywood. All I’ll say is it involves a stunning beach, three incredibly happy later-aged blokes and some heavy rock and roll.
Not that this West African tour is all smiles. As the producers point out at the beginning, much of it takes place in a Foreign Office red zone where “Terrorism cannot be ruled out.” Real terrorism, that is. Not just banter terrorists Clarkson and Hammond filling May’s car with sand.
There’s also the heat to deal with. It’s touching 50°C in the daytime, and there are moments where you genuinely fear for their health. Not least Clarkson's. Without wishing to sound too personal, it isn’t just Jezza’s car that appears to be carrying “a beefed up underside” on this trip.
He also stubbornly refuses to even wear a sunhat at first.
May is only slightly more safety-conscious, electing to wear a bandana as if he’s paying tribute to Dennis Hopper in Apocalypse Now. As for Hammond, you won’t be surprised to hear that he ends up being the one most likely to not make it home in one piece.
On one particularly hot and sticky evening in camp, a clearly disorientated Clarkson throws an almighty strop and snaps: “I’m trying to remember if I’ve ever been as irritated as this.”
No, he hasn’t just been shown some online pictures of Meghan and Harry living their best lives in Montecito.
He’s just annoyed about the shoddy tent he has been furnished with. The insubstantial piece of kit is the straw that almost breaks the camel’s back, and you have to admire the bravery of the production team given Clarkson’s track record in the responding to TV underlings not giving him what he wants department.
Is there a happy ending to the tour though? I’m not telling. Let’s just say, if you’re predicting a riot you might just be in the right ballpark.
The Grand Tour: Sand Job is streaming on Prime Video now.