The Ultimatum: Queer Love's Yoly and Xander on Their Fate After the Show: 'Floored and Empty' (Exclusive)

Despite going their separate ways after Ultimatum Day, Yoly Rojas insists to PEOPLE that what she had with Xander Boger was "very much real" and simply a matter of them being in "different places of our healing journey"

Warning: this story contains spoilers from episodes 9 and 10 of The Ultimatum: Queer Love.

Yoly Rojas and Xander Boger may have been a fan-favorite couple on The Ultimatum: Queer Love, but as fans learned in the season finale, their love story eventually came to an end.

Netflix dropped the final two episodes of the season on Wednesday, featuring the highly anticipated Ultimatum Day where the couples decided whether to get engaged or split, and the cast reunion.

As it turned out, Xander ended up splitting with Vanessa Papa, while Yoly agreed to get engaged to Mal Wright. However, Yoly was thrown a curveball when Xander approached her shortly after Mal's proposal and suggested they give their romance a shot. Despite her love for Xander, Yoly said she had to give Mal a chance and ended things with Xander for good, leaving them both heartbroken.

At the reunion, Yoly revealed that she and Mal split up a few weeks after the show while Xander remained single. That led fans — and host JoAnna Garcia Swisher — to wonder: did Yoly and Xander give their love a second try once Yoly's engagement ended?

Though Xander said they were "in each other's journey for a little bit," she and Yoly ultimately decided to go their separate ways and focus on themselves. Now, the duo are opening up to PEOPLE about why things never worked out — and if their love truly was the real deal.

For Yoly, it was simply a matter of them both ending long-term relationships and not wanting to rush into something.

"I was with Mal for three and a half years. Xander was with Vanessa for, I think, four years. As much as it would've been wonderful to just jump back into somebody who I already have a connection with and have that relationship established, I know that I needed time to myself," she explains. "I was just floored and empty, and just done emotionally and mentally after Mal. There was nothing left in me to be a solid partner to anyone. There was no way I could have done that."

"Xander expressed similar feelings," she continues, before noting, "We did meet up, we met up at Coachella. It was almost like, six months post-show... We were just in different spaces. I think we were both just in different places of our healing journey."

Related: 'The Ultimatum: Queer Love' Host JoAnna Garcia Swisher on Why Cast's Attack on Vanessa Was 'Important' (Exclusive)

For Xander, she says of their whirlwind relationship: "To a certain degree, it fizzled out."

"I feel like it was hard because we went from our trial marriage, [where] we were super connected and communicated all the time. Then when her and Mal were back in Seattle, of course I wanted to give her and Mal the space to figure their things out after the show and with their new engagement and everything."

"But it's also hard to not talk to this person that you're so connected with. So we definitely communicated," Xander continues. "It got to a point where I felt like her and Mal kind of were going downhill, so I felt like I needed to pull away a little bit more. So that's what I did. Once they weren't together anymore, we came back together, but not in an 'I'm interested in you' kind of way, more of a friend zone. And then just from there... It didn't do too much. There wasn't much there afterwards."

Still though, Yoly is adamant that what they had was "real."

"It's funny. I think in general, in reality TV — especially with our show — one week feels like three months already. You're so invested in [that person]. Every single conversation we had was about our future compatibility, kids, likes, dislikes," she says. "Then you add on top of that that it's lesbians —already one straight date is equal to 10 gay dates."

"I fell in love with Xander for a fact. She was a lighthouse in the chaos of everything," she continues. "You're uprooted. You're in a different city. None of us have been on TV before. We don't know what to expect. But with each other, we were just able to ground ourselves and work out and journal together and read books together and just be peaceful while everybody else seemed to be chaotic. So it was very much real."

Related: The Ultimatum: Queer Love's JoAnna Garcia Swisher Was 'Profoundly Changed' by Hosting the Show (Exclusive)

As for whether or not they would ever rekindle their romance, Yoly believes her time with Xander is fully in the past.

"With all love and respect for Xander and for myself, the person that I was while on the show... was somebody who was over-compromising of self and just taking less than what I deserved," she says. "Xander didn't give me scraps, but I would've had to compromised parts of myself that I didn't want to."

"I don't think that fundamentally as a person, she would change [either]," she continues. "I don't want anybody to change that much for me. But I don't think that in the future we would."

She then adds: "Maybe. You know, maybe. There's so many things there that I'm drawn to still. But I think just fundamentally we need different things."

Xander agrees, and is optimistic for her own future. "I definitely still want to get married. I can't wait to have a family," she says. "It's something as simple as just walking past an apartment complex where I see a family celebrating a birthday. I'm like, 'Ugh, I want that so bad.' I know it will come."

"I'm not actively dating right now. I'm just working on my career and doing a lot of things that are serving me and my community," she adds. "But I am looking to still try and build a family and find that right person for me. I feel like the biggest change I'm going to do as I go into more dating is it's just going to be a lot more balanced. I think that's what I'm really looking for. I feel like a lot of my past relationships have not been very balanced and I'm working to build more of that."

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The Ultimatum: Queer Love is now streaming in full on Netflix.

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