I visited Burton Constable Hall and the 'skyscraper' of cheesy chips staggered me as much as the history!

A tower of cheesy chips at Stables Kitchen - Burton Constable
A tower of cheesy chips at Stables Kitchen - Burton Constable -Credit:Hull Live

With the sunnier and warmer weather making weekends a bit brighter, I decided to take a trip to Burton Constable Hall with the hope of spotting some wildlife and enjoying a light lunch.

The temperature was much warmer after a cold and wet start to spring and I hoped to catch a glimpse of some new lambs in the fields at the front of the house. I also had my family in tow and we were pretty hungry, so a visit to the cafe was in order.

Stables Kitchen is a simply decorated space with wooden tables and whitewashed walls, reminding me of a barn. You order food and drinks at the counter and they are then brought over to your table.


I was a bit surprised at the limited menu choice; people have praised Stables Kitchen for its curries and stews and I was in the mood for something wholesome and nutritious after a week of eating sad cheese sandwiches at my desk.

On the menu were the usual British cafe staples: cheese sandwiches, toasted cheese sandwiches, scones, and cakes. If you were feeling very adventurous, you could spend £12.99 for a jacket potato with chilli (meat or vegetarian).

There was also a specials board with more gastro-pub type delights: chicken baguette, meatball sub, sausage and chips, and a variety of burgers.

At this point, I was wondering if I should have bothered leaving Hull at all since plenty of generic JD Wetherspoon pubs offer the same type of grub. Grumbling aside, we ordered tea and coffee, burgers, a sausage sandwich, and some cheesy chips.

The entrance to Stables Kitchen at Burton Constable Hall
The entrance to Stables Kitchen at Burton Constable Hall, Skirlaugh -Credit:Hull Live

It was not as expensive as I feared and we were served our drinks quickly - they were pleasant and refreshing. The ambiance was quite nice and the seats by the window were particularly bright and cheerful.

The food also arrived quickly, despite the cafe being quite busy. A burger is basically a glorified sandwich but it was decent and the sausage in the sandwich hadn't scrimped on quality or quantity.

What truly confounded me was the cheesy chips. It was a skyscraper of deep-fried carbohydrates, absolutely smothered in pieces of grated cheese which seemed to go flying everywhere.

It was like playing a nerve-wracking game of edible Jenga. Several times, I had to stop and clean the floor because yet more cheese would come cascading down when I tried to remove a chip.

The photo does not do the cheesy chip tower justice and I wish I'd put a pencil in the frame for size comparison. I'd guess the chip tower was at least 20cm tall.

Fortunately, I didn't have to tackle it alone. At £4.50 it felt like reasonable value for money and the chips were well-cooked - golden and crispy on the outside, softer in the middle.

It might not have been the healthy lunch I'd envisioned, but it was good. Stables Kitchen also offers a range of homemade cakes, including vegan and gluten-free options.

After this feast, cake was clearly off-limits and so we went on a walk. Sadly, we did not see any lambs but the sheep looked happy and healthy as usual.

There was a smallish bird of prey, perhaps a kestrel, in a tree but I didn't have my binoculars. We also saw a few rabbits scampering around, but they were shy and prone to getting startled.

I've been in the hall itself once before and thought it was beautifully maintained - it costs £13.75 for a standard adult ticket. There are also a wealth of guides who are so informative and really enhance the experience, both with their historical knowledge and enthusiasm.

But a ticket for just the grounds is £7.95 for a standard adult, which feels a bit steep when the weather isn't great. Unless you have large wellies, it is very likely you will not be able to access most of the park off-season due to deep mud and waterlogged fields.

In summer, £7.95 would afford you a full day out with a picnic and exploration of the estate's many paths. But after wet weather, much of the ground is boggy and walking the all-weather gravel paths only takes about half an hour.

There are no discount tickets for people on income-related benefits, but students and senior citizens aged 65 and older get 50p off. I will definitely return - but might just stop for cake next time.