Woman's life changed after she found a 'razor bump' - but she won't let virus define her

Photo of Suzanna Elzbieta
Suzanna hopes to dispel many myths about those with herpes -Credit:Suzanna Elzbieta / SWNS


A woman who was diagnosed with genital herpes after spotting what she thought was a 'razor bump' has encouraged others not to let STIs define them. Suzanna Elzbieta was driving home from visiting her boyfriend in October 2019 when she felt discomfort, similar to the onset of a urinary tract infection (UTI).

Initially, her doctor dismissed it as post-sex irritation, but a visit to a women's health clinic confirmed her worst fears - they suspected it was herpes. Suzanna was given anti-viral medication and a swab test later revealed she had herpes simplex virus (HSV2), a common virus that is the same as the cold sore virus, reports Leicestershire Live.

During her first outbreak, Suzanna experienced flu-like symptoms and blisters, but now she only has 'mild' flare-ups. These come out in small bumps that appears every two to three months which she treats with anti-viral medication.

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Despite the stigma attached to STIs, single woman Suzanna continues to enjoy dating and has only been rejected once due to her STI status. She hopes to dispel the shame and stereotypes associated with the virus, such as the notion that people with it are 'dirty' or promiscuous.

Suzanna, who is now an advocate for herpes, said: "I got herpes when I was 34 and I had only had eight sexual partners. I contracted it after visiting my boyfriend who I was in a long-distance relationship with. Travelling home after Halloween in 2019, I felt a bit of pain and irritation. I noticed what looked like a razor bump and I ignored it at first.

"I thought I was getting a UTI or was just a little torn. My doctor didn't think it was anything but later called to prescribe anti-viral medication in case it was herpes. A day or so later I went to a women's health clinic, they suspected it was herpes. A week later my swab test showed I had HSV2 - a form of the herpes virus.

"At first I was devastated but now I've learned it's a little skin issue. I often tell people my last few years with herpes and of singledom have been my hot girl summer days."

Suzanna initially believed her life would be drastically altered following her diagnosis. She found out that herpes is a common virus with around 100 strains.

Suzanna said: "Like most people in that situation I was pretty devastated. I had no idea that it was something I could get if I was careful, I had no idea it didn't show up in routine STI testing."

Suzanna remained with her boyfriend, who provided comfort during this time, but ended their relationship months later. She said: "I suspect I hadn't had it before because there's a lot of things which show up in your first infection that can be more severe.

"It took one to two weeks to clear up and then I had another flare up right away. After that I was getting a mild flare up every two to three months. It can be different for everyone - for me it is one little bump down below- it's not much worse than having a pimple or an ingrown hair. If I'm not taking anti-viral medication, I will get some tingling and nerve pain."

Since her diagnosis, Suzanna has been challenging the stigma and misconceptions associated with testing positive for herpes. She said: "I think the stigma is a major part of all of this. People with herpes have to deal with that.

"The majority of people with herpes never get symptoms and are asymptomatic. Most places won't screen you unless you are showing symptoms. People attribute it to sleeping around or being dirty - your body count doesn't matter at all."

"Sometimes it can be caught non-sexually - it's just skin-to-skin contact. You can contract a virus at any point when you're sexually active. Why is a sexual virus any different to a normal one?"

Following the breakup with her boyfriend and learning about her condition, Suzanna feared she would be seen as 'undesirable' and that dating would become impossible. She said: "The stigma is so prevalent it makes you feel like you're not going to have a normal dating life but that couldn't be further from the truth.

"It hasn't affected my dating life - 99 per cent of people have no issue. I've come across people who have it too - you just need to be in a good place with your own status."

Suzanna is always cautious to have protected sex to prevent pregnancy and other STIs, and she refrains from sexual activity during outbreaks to reduce the risk of transmission. She cautions that there is always some risk of transmitting the virus during unprotected sex and advises openness with partners regarding protection levels.

She said: "I usually tell the person who I'm dating I have herpes, it's really common and it's very easy to work around. It's the same as having a cold-sore, you wouldn't kiss someone with a visible cold sore but you would when they didn't. I try to make it a two-way conversation as I would want to know their STI status too."

Suzanna sometimes chooses to reveal her status immediately via dating apps, while other times she prefers to wait until they've been on a few dates or at least met in person once. She said: "We can shed the virus and it can activate at times without symptoms, that's where it's tricky.

"Most of the time we're not contagious. I avoid activity during flare up and taking daily anti-virals can reduce shedding. Protection does help and it's up to each individual couple."

Despite mostly positive reactions, Suzanna recalls one negative experience where a date was unwilling to continue seeing her after learning about her condition. She said: "The negativity I get pales in comparison to the positivity. On one occasion I went on a date and told him - he didn't get it. He thought he could get it through kissing me."

Prior to contracting herpes, Suzanna had been married for eight years. She points out that the likelihood of contracting the virus is not necessarily related to the number of sexual partners one has had.

She said: "I didn't have my heyday in college, and I had been married for eight years and I was in another long-term relationship. I had only had eight sexual partners. It's been beautiful to reconnect with my sensuality and sexuality and heal those wounds."

Suzanna hopes to ease the shame of other sufferers and wants to highlight the double standard between genital and oral herpes. She said: "It doesn't change or affect your life - it's all a matter of own perspective, you can make your life miserable with it."

"You have to get to a place to think I am so much than this little virus. It's not a big deal and unlearn the stigma we have all absorbed. Who I was when I was diagnosed and who I am now - it's like night and day."

"I've garnered self-love - even my own education about sexual health has helped so much. I feel unstoppable compared to where I was. The idea people get it from behaving a certain way is completely false. There is nothing wrong with having multiple partners and there is a double standard - between having it orally and it on your genitals. It comes down to shaming sexuality."