You'll never guess what offends Real Marigold Hotel's Stanley Johnson
The Real Marigold Hotel on Tour is yet more proof that Stanley Johnson is lovely and charming... until you cross a very specific line with him.
This year's series has a slightly different format, sending different sets of famous pensioners on retirement tours to far-flung places across the globe.
Wednesday's premiere featured The Three Degrees' singer Sheila Ferguson, darts legend Bobby George and all-around telly favourite Stanley Johnson – who charmed Real Marigold Hotel viewers last year by transforming into a motorcycle-riding rebel in India.
Harry Potter icon Miriam Margolyes also took a break from hating children and calling the midwife to travel along with the trio to St Petersburg, which was an opportunity for her and Stanley to bicker a lot about Russia-UK relations.
"I don't know much about Stanley, so it'll be a voyage of discovery, but Boris Johnson is a pillock," she chuckled in her confessional interview.
Surprisingly, that didn't tick off Stan. What really pissed him off was when Miriam questioned how he kept up the same hair colour as his famous son.
"[Boris] looks very much like Stanley,” Miriam mentioned, before asking: “Is that the natural colour or do you assist it?”
For some reason, Stanley frowned as he scoffed: "Oh, for heaven’s sake! I say! If I did, I wouldn’t admit to it!"
Miriam then rightly pointed out that nobody cares at all whether he dyes his hair or not, but Stanley wasn't having any of it.
"Well, chaps don’t do that kind of thing," he complained, with Miriam sighing: "Oh, bollocks!"
Rather appropriately, it was then off to an actual sanatorium from the Soviet era, which had been transformed into a retreat designed for rest and relaxation in the modern day.
Apparently, that meant getting absolutely pelted by water from a high-powered hose in what passed as a massage for Sheila, while Stanley got off easier with a swim in a mineral-rich lake.
As if Putin himself had been listening in to all of her anti-Russian talk throughout the tour, Miriam's relaxation treatment involved having her lower body covered in blood-sucking leeches!
Or, as we call it, Stanley's Revenge!
The Real Marigold on Tour continues next Wednesday (February 20) at 9pm on BBC One when Paul Nicholas, Sheila Ferguson, Wayne Sleep and Jan Leeming visit Buenos Aires.
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