Stella Creasy: Why relationships should be on the national curriculum

Ahead of a Commons vote later today, Labour's Stella Creasy sets out why sexual consent and relationship advice should be taught as part of the national curriculum. No means no, but how do we also teach that yes means yes? In a world of snapchat, chatroulette, sexting by 10 year olds and UniLad, little wonder many are worried about the messages the modern world gives about what is acceptable in relationships. In countering these, putting sexual consent on the agenda in our schools is vital to empowering young people to make healthy and respectful choices for themselves and each other when it comes to extracurricular activities. Currently the national curriculum teaches the mechanics of sex but says little on the meaning of relationships. Indeed, ask most Brits about their experience of sex education and you’ll get a story involving either a banana, a video that made someone faint or even advice on not wearing patent shoes to avoid creating upskirt reflections that could cause overexcitement. Everyday Sexism has charted how many girls found themselves being segregated from boys and warned of the dangers of their clothing or duties of their gender - as though sexual healthcare is a responsibility for women only. Above all few describe discussion of respecting your partner or valuing your own body. Ofsted’s recent assessment confirms that when it comes to sex education, many schools are bottom of the class. Providing the sex and relationship education all young people need is about more than the accuracy of biology lessons about how babies are made. For too many, violence, fear and sexual abuse are something that starts at home or in the arms of a loved one. The CPS estimate 750,000 children a year witness domestic violence at home, and on average there are 2,500 children living in refuges in Britain at any one time. Talking about relationships with young people is not simply about challenging patterns of behaviour they have seen amongst their parents or carers. The NSPCC found a third of girls aged 13-17 have experienced physical or sexual violence in relationships, with one in 16 of this group reporting experiencing rape. Worryingly Women’s Aid research shows 50% of 16-18 year olds wouldn’t know where to go to get support if affected by domestic abuse and 18% were unsure or didn’t believe slapping counted as domestic violence. When our contemporary TV shows discuss violence between couples as standard little wonder the notion love should hurt retains currency. Informing pupils about consent is not about absolving parents of responsibilities but recognising that for many these pressures can define the school day. YouGov found almost a third of 16-18-year-old girls say they have been subjected to unwanted sexual touching at school. As the Children’s Commissioner states ‘basically porn is everywhere’, and her recent report on children's access to this found there is a clear correlation with harmful attitudes and behaviours. As we debate access to pornography and ‘rape culture’, there is a tendency to focus on technological solutions to try to filter out these images which increasingly dominate contemporary society. Also crucial to addressing this are the filters we develop within the minds of our young people themselves, helping them challenge for themselves the objectification of women and value positive and equal depictions of love. Indeed as Baroness Kidron argues, without action we will leave sex education to pornographers by default. That’s why our proposals for New Clause 20 of the Children and Families bill which ensure this is a statutory part of the curriculum should be uncontroversial. It is formally backed by a wide range of organisations including Women’s Aid, End Violence Against Women, National Union of Students, the Family Planning Association, Brook, the PHSE Association, Relate, The TUC, ATL, NUT, The EQUALs coalition, No More Page 3, Everyday Sexism, NSPCC and Terence Higgins Trust. It also has support from Mumsnet, Girl Guides, One Plus One, British Youth Council and the UK Youth Parliament and most parents, pupils and teachers too. Indeed when parliament debated the matter as part of One Billion Rising even the Prime Minister David Cameron facebooked about it as well as Theresa May agreeing its time to act. Yet Ministers in the Department for Education resist, despite their own experts also calling for these issues to be included. Protestations such a change would undermine curriculum freedom ring hollow when compared with their parallel plans to require compound interest and composting to be on the curriculum. More recently they have sought to shift the blame, stating schools are already required to cover relationships but the guidance to do this isn’t being implemented. Such hesitation and confusion only strengthens the case for sending a clear message about the place and priority of relationship education in all our schools. It’s time the Government said yes as well as no and put consent on our curriculum. Tell them today to vote #yes2NC20.