Yahoo News 22 Of The Funniest Tweets About Married Life (Oct. 10-16)
Marriage is full of highs, lows and a whole bunch of ordinary moments in between.
Somehow married people on X, formerly known as Twitter, continue to find humor in the minutiae of wedded life. Every week, we round up the funniest marriage tweets on the platform. Read on for 22 relatable ones that will have you laughing in agreement.
I am 53 years old and have been married for 23 years and still have no idea how women make hats out of towels after showering.
— Eric Alper 🎧 (@ThatEricAlper) October 15, 2023
I am 53 years old and have been married for 23 years and still have no idea how women make hats out of towels after showering.
— Eric Alper 🎧 (@ThatEricAlper) October 15, 2023 ">
My in laws are visiting and I feel like my mother in law is much too smug for someone who’s son I’m still raising.
— Tori Fletcher (@hellotorifletch) October 15, 2023
My in laws are visiting and I feel like my mother in law is much too smug for someone who’s son I’m still raising.
— Tori Fletcher (@hellotorifletch) October 15, 2023 ">
My husband asked if I wanted to go on a hot air balloon ride but there’s just something about a large flame & a wicker basket that makes me want to say no.
— Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) October 10, 2023
My husband asked if I wanted to go on a hot air balloon ride but there’s just something about a large flame & a wicker basket that makes me want to say no.
— Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) October 10, 2023 ">
I wish my wife's sighs came with subtitles.
— Dan Regan (@DanRegan_Comedy) October 15, 2023
I wish my wife's sighs came with subtitles.
— Dan Regan (@DanRegan_Comedy) October 15, 2023 ">
Me to 8yo daughter: omg why are you like this?!
Husband: [slowly lifts mirror to my face]— I Hide From My Kids (@IHideFromMyKids) October 14, 2023
Me to 8yo daughter: omg why are you like this?!
Husband: [slowly lifts mirror to my face]
— I Hide From My Kids (@IHideFromMyKids) October 14, 2023 ">
Husband: [slowly lifts mirror to my face]
My husband walked into the house after getting off work, kicked off his shoes, and shouted "I need a watermelon popsicle now."
I'm so scared to tell him I ate the last 5 today.— Eli McCann (@EliMcCann) October 11, 2023
My husband walked into the house after getting off work, kicked off his shoes, and shouted "I need a watermelon popsicle now."
I'm so scared to tell him I ate the last 5 today.
— Eli McCann (@EliMcCann) October 11, 2023 ">
I'm so scared to tell him I ate the last 5 today.
My husband still gets emotional every time he talks about how much he spent on a churro at Disney World.
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) October 12, 2023
My husband still gets emotional every time he talks about how much he spent on a churro at Disney World.
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) October 12, 2023 ">
My wife and I play this cute game every time we go out where she picks 2 outfits out and asks my opinion on which looks better, then wears a different one anyway.
— My Life As Dad (@milifeasdad) October 13, 2023
My wife and I play this cute game every time we go out where she picks 2 outfits out and asks my opinion on which looks better, then wears a different one anyway.
— My Life As Dad (@milifeasdad) October 13, 2023 ">
Every marriage has one person who is good at putting laundry away and one person who puts my black tights in a kitchen drawer with the dish towels.
— Kristen Mulrooney (@missmulrooney) October 10, 2023
Every marriage has one person who is good at putting laundry away and one person who puts my black tights in a kitchen drawer with the dish towels.
— Kristen Mulrooney (@missmulrooney) October 10, 2023 ">
I’m starting to worry about my husband’s eyesight. He can’t seem to see that the cutlery drawer is divided into sections.
— Laura prefers the bird (@ericamorecambe) October 11, 2023
I’m starting to worry about my husband’s eyesight. He can’t seem to see that the cutlery drawer is divided into sections.
— Laura prefers the bird (@ericamorecambe) October 11, 2023 ">
I texted my husband a picture of a junky snack at the grocery store and he replied, "No thanks, I'll take a healthy snack" and I feel like we've really grown apart as a couple.
— SpacedMom (@copymama) October 11, 2023
I texted my husband a picture of a junky snack at the grocery store and he replied, "No thanks, I'll take a healthy snack" and I feel like we've really grown apart as a couple.
— SpacedMom (@copymama) October 11, 2023 ">
My husband sure has a lot of opinions on which movie he’s gonna sleep through
— I Hide From My Kids (@IHideFromMyKids) October 15, 2023
My husband sure has a lot of opinions on which movie he’s gonna sleep through
— I Hide From My Kids (@IHideFromMyKids) October 15, 2023 ">
Before I got married people told me how hard the first few years are but not ONE person prepared me for him saying “I love you, no I love you more” over and over again to the dog every day when he leaves for work
— Tracie Breaux (@traciebreaux) October 12, 2023
Before I got married people told me how hard the first few years are but not ONE person prepared me for him saying “I love you, no I love you more” over and over again to the dog every day when he leaves for work
— Tracie Breaux (@traciebreaux) October 12, 2023 ">
My husband and I are going away for the weekend. He just came downstairs and asked me if he needed to pack “restaurant clothes.” He is 55 years old.
— Lady Lawya (@Parkerlawyer) October 13, 2023
My husband and I are going away for the weekend. He just came downstairs and asked me if he needed to pack “restaurant clothes.” He is 55 years old.
— Lady Lawya (@Parkerlawyer) October 13, 2023 ">
My husband asked if I want to go with him and the kids to his parents’ house and I feel like this is a trick question.
— krista pacion (@kristabellerina) October 14, 2023
My husband asked if I want to go with him and the kids to his parents’ house and I feel like this is a trick question.
— krista pacion (@kristabellerina) October 14, 2023 ">
this box has been sitting in my hallway for *six weeks* and my husband has not asked me what it is, why I haven’t opened it, or if I should ever plan on moving it and this is what it’s like when both partners have ADHD. pic.twitter.com/NMB0ZJQlku
— emily (@emilykmay) October 14, 2023
this box has been sitting in my hallway for *six weeks* and my husband has not asked me what it is, why I haven’t opened it, or if I should ever plan on moving it and this is what it’s like when both partners have ADHD. pic.twitter.com/NMB0ZJQlku
— emily (@emilykmay) October 14, 2023 ">
Me, as a ghost, shortly after dying: [Floats into the house.]
Husband: AHH! What are you doing here?!
Me, in a ghostly voice: I have unfinished business.
Husband: Like what?
Me: [Glides over to the couch, picks up the remote, hits "continue watching" on Netflix.]— Eli McCann (@EliMcCann) October 13, 2023
Me, as a ghost, shortly after dying: [Floats into the house.]
Husband: AHH! What are you doing here?!
Me, in a ghostly voice: I have unfinished business.
Husband: Like what?
Me: [Glides over to the couch, picks up the remote, hits "continue watching" on Netflix.]
— Eli McCann (@EliMcCann) October 13, 2023 ">
Husband: AHH! What are you doing here?!
Me, in a ghostly voice: I have unfinished business.
Husband: Like what?
Me: [Glides over to the couch, picks up the remote, hits "continue watching" on Netflix.]
Wife made some weird snarl noise in her sleep but I'm not taking chances. She can get mad at me in the morning about the salt ring around her
— Nostradadmus (@bigpoppadrunk) October 13, 2023
Wife made some weird snarl noise in her sleep but I'm not taking chances. She can get mad at me in the morning about the salt ring around her
— Nostradadmus (@bigpoppadrunk) October 13, 2023 ">
My husband has been asking me for over a month to clear my clothes from 'the chair'- y'all know that one chair.
My excuse was edits, then writing, then more edits, then sub... lol.
It is with horror that I announce I am out of excuses and now staring down a pile of clothes 😭😭— Marve with an 'E'✨ (@JustMarveWrites) October 14, 2023
My husband has been asking me for over a month to clear my clothes from 'the chair'- y'all know that one chair.
My excuse was edits, then writing, then more edits, then sub... lol.
It is with horror that I announce I am out of excuses and now staring down a pile of clothes 😭😭
— Marve with an 'E'✨ (@JustMarveWrites) October 14, 2023 ">
My excuse was edits, then writing, then more edits, then sub... lol.
It is with horror that I announce I am out of excuses and now staring down a pile of clothes 😭😭
My wife was trying to tell me a quick story and after the umpteenth time our kids interrupted her she said, “Nevermind, maybe we can talk again when they’re grown up,” and that about sums up being married with kids.
— NicholasG (@Dad_At_Law) October 12, 2023
My wife was trying to tell me a quick story and after the umpteenth time our kids interrupted her she said, “Nevermind, maybe we can talk again when they’re grown up,” and that about sums up being married with kids.
— NicholasG (@Dad_At_Law) October 12, 2023 ">
Why does my husband wait to talk about things until I’m not in the mood to listen to him?
— Jennifer Parker (@Mrs_JParker) October 13, 2023
Why does my husband wait to talk about things until I’m not in the mood to listen to him?
— Jennifer Parker (@Mrs_JParker) October 13, 2023 ">
My husband got tickets for a Saturday night event that has us out past midnight and I’m not sure this is what I signed up for when we got married because that is way past my bedtime.
— krista pacion (@kristabellerina) October 14, 2023
