The Marvel Cinematic Universe has always been home to incredible superhero action, but the franchise is based on something called the "comic" book, after all, so it wouldn't be fair to the medium if the movies weren't also quite funny. Luckily, humor has never been lacking in the MCU.
From Tony Stark's endless quips to Loki's sarcasm to Thor's obliviousness, there have been some absolutely hilarious lines delivered throughout the Marvel Cinematic Universe. Choosing the funniest Marvel lines is a bit like trying to pick the best Marvel movie, but as in all things, we try.
"Tony Stark Was Able To Build This In A Cave, With A Box Of Scraps!"- Iron Man
Robert Downey Jr.'s Tony Stark is always good for a one-liner but what may be the best line in the original Iron Man comes from Jeff Bridges' Obadiah Stane, when he gets angry that his scientists can't recreate Tony's miniaturized Arc Reactor. When they tell them what he wants can't be done, he screams at them that Tony did it, and under less than optimal conditions.
"Don't Make Me Hungry. You Wouldn't Like Me When I'm Hungry" - The Incredible Hulk
The Incredible Hulk isn't exactly the funniest of the MCU movies, but it has its moments. One of them is both a great line and a fun reference to the original Incredible Hulk TV series. When confronting some thugs making his workplace dangerous Bruce Banner attempts the classic "Don't make me angry..." line, but his Portuguese isn't that great and he gets a word wrong.
"Sir, I'm Gonna Have To Ask You To Exit The Donut." - Iron Man 2
In Iron Man 2 Tony Stark, fearing his own death goes a bit of a bender, which ends with him eating a box of donuts while sitting inside the famous giant donut of Randy's Donuts in southern California. When Nick Fury arrives on the scene, he (mostly) politely, asks him to please come down from there.
"Know This Son Of Coul." - Thor
Many Scandinavian languages still have very traditional naming practices, so it makes sense that Thor, a Norse god, would understand that a man named Agent Phil Coulson, must, obviously, be the son of a man named Coul.
"You Don't Have One Of Those, Do You?" - Captain America: The First Avenger
Captain America was the first successful attempt to use the super soldier serum, but he wasn't the first one to undergo the procedure. When Steve Rodgers (Chris Evans) and Bucky Barnes first discover what the serum did to Red Skull, Bucky has to ask his friend if also has a bright red monster face under his skin.
"That Man Is Playing Galaga! Thought We Wouldn't Notice, But We Did." - The Avengers
Tony Stark has some great moments in the Marvel Cinematic Universe, but one of the best is when he holds court over the S.H.I.E.L.D. Helicarrier, and calls out a member of the staff for apparently playing video games on his computer while all of New York is being attacked by aliens.
"You're In A Relationship With Me. Everything Will Never Be Okay." - Iron Man 3
Tony Stark may have been the MCU's first hero, but he was a guy who brought a lot of baggage with him wherever he went. Speaking with his girlfriend Pepper Potts, Tony made it clear that there was never going to be anything like normal when it came to him.
"This Is So Unlike You, Brother. So Clandestine. Are You Sure You Wouldn't Rather Just Punch Your Way Out?" - Thor: The Dark World
Loki and Thor may have grown up as brothers, but they had very different ways of handling any given situation. They were very good at giving each other a hard time, however, as Loki did when Thor was being uncharacteristic in his approach.
"Don't Look At Me. I Do What He Does, Just Slower." - Captain America: The Winter Soldier
The opening of Captain America: The Winter Soldier introduced us to Sam Wilson, who Steve Rogers literally ran circles around. Later, when Nick Fury is looking for support, Falcon assures Fury that he and Captain America are on the same page, even if their speed varies.
"Nothing Goes Over My Head. My Reflexes Are Too Fast. I Would Catch It." - Guardians of the Galaxy
Drax of the Guardians of the Galaxy is from a race that takes all speech perfectly literally. This leads to a number of great exchanges, but the best being a discussion of exactly this element of Drax, who responds to the idea that a statement might go over his head.
"The City Is Flying. We're Fighting An Army Of Robots. And I have A Bow And Arrow. None Of This Makes Sense." - Avengers: Age of Ultron
Hawkeye is the butt of more than a few jokes in the MCU, being the member of the Avengers with the most unique choice of weapons. In Avengers: Age of Ultron Hawkeye is, at the very least, aware that he is very much in over his head.
"Baskin-Robbins Always Finds Out!" - Ant-Man
When Scott Lang looks for work after leaving prison, he doesn't tell his new bosses he's an ex-con. Unfortunately, as the manager says, and as his friend Luis later confirms, "Baskin Robbins always finds out."
"Anybody On Our Side Hiding Any Shocking And Fantastic Abilities They'd Like To Disclose? I'm Open To Suggestions." - Captain America: Civil War
When all our favorite heroes fight each other in Captain America: Civil War each side tries to find different ways to get the upper hand by enlisting heroes the other side won't be ready for. Ant-Man is a largely unknown factor, and the fact he can also reverse his abilities and grow massive, is a big win for team Cap, leading Tony to ask if his team can do anything to match it.
"Just Wong? Like Adele? Or Aristotle? Drake, Bono, Eminem…" - Doctor Strange
The relationship between Doctor Strange and Wong has certainly come a long way since the two were first introduced. When Strange first met Wong he found it interesting the man only had the one name. Was it a first name or a last name? It didn't seem to matter.
“I’m Mary Poppins, Y’all!” - Guardians Of The Galaxy, Vol. 2
Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 has a number of great lines that will make you laugh, but none are quite as good as Yondu's tough guy reaction to be compared to Mary Poppins, which was a last-minute addition to the script. He probably wouldn't be that thrilled if he knew who she really was, but to be fair, Mary Poppins is cool.
"So…You Got Detention." - Spider-Man: Homecoming
One of the funniest bits of the first MCU Spider-Man movie was the ways that Captain America had been incorporated into many parts of high school. There seemed to be a Cap-hosted educational video for everything, including detention.
"He's A Friend From Work!" - Thor: Ragnarok
Thor: Ragnarok may have had the Asgardian's name in the title, but it was as much a Hulk movie as it was a Thor movie, and the big green guy had an amazing entrance into the Grandmaster's battle area that was only made by better by Thor calling him "A friend from work," which I guess is accurate, but a weird way to refer to the Avengers.
"You Cannot Talk One More Word, And I Will Feed You To My Children! I'm Kidding. We're Vegetarians." - Black Panther
M'Baku follows in a long line of secondary characters who steal every scene of the Marvel movie they are in. We don't really get to know him or his people until the end of the movie, so when he threatens to eat somebody, you tend to believe him, until he drops the punchline.
"Dude, You're Embarrassing Me In Front Of The Wizards." - Avengers: Infinity War
Is there anything worse than meeting wizards for the first time and then having your friend not look impressive in front of them? I didn't think so.
"You Want A Juice Box And Some String Cheese?" - Ant-Man and the Wasp
In Ant-Man and the Wasp Scott Lang gets stuck with a malfunctioning suit, making it difficult for him to control his size. He grows and shrinks to random sizes at random times. This leads to a fantastic moment where Michael Douglas' Hank Pym asks a diminutive Scott, about the size of a grade-schooler, if he'd like a snack.
"If Toast Is Cut Diagonally, I Can't Eat It." - Captain Marvel
Nick Fury is one of the toughest people in the entire MCU, which makes the admission in Captain Marvel that he won't eat toast if it's cut diagonally incredibly bizarre. I guess we all have our quirks.
"Honestly, Until This Exact Second I Thought You Were A Build-A Bear" - Avengers: Endgame
While Avengers: Infinity War is when most of the MCU's heroes meet, there are some that don't actually cross paths until Avengers: Endgame. You might not even realize that Iron Man and Rocket have never met until Tony reacts to the first thing the Guardian of the Galaxy says to him.
"I Thought That You Could Sense That With Your Peter-Tingle." - Spider-Man: Far From Home
The first MCU Spider-Man movie doesn't even deal with the traditional power of Spidey Sense, so they never give it a name. By the sequel we learn that he does have the ability, but has never given it an official designation, leaving his Aunt May to come up with her own ideas.
“This Will Be A Cool Way To Die.” - Black Widow
Yelena from Black Widow has a very different way of looking at things than most people. When most of us see a massive avalanche that's about to bury us in snow, we run away, Yelena immediately realizes how cool it will be to die this way, because she's probably going to die this way.
"That's When I Knew. If They Can Teach Those Monkeys To Act That Brilliantly, Just Imagine What I Could Bring To The World." - Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings
Trevor Slattery first appeared in Iron Man 3 as the fake Mandarin. He returns in Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings and immediately becomes one of the best parts of it. Almost everything he says is funny, mostly because he's an idiot. Including this gem which makes it clear he doesn't even know how movies work.
" Fall Collection, IKEA. Ass." - Eternals
Eternals may be the least quipy of the MCU, but that doesn't mean it's entirely without funny lines. When the team tracks down Phastos, who is living happily among humans, Ikaris can't believe it and assumes he's built a safe house for himself. He accidentally destroys a table, which it turns out wasn't made of vibranium after all.
"The Avengers?!? That’s Great!… What Is That?!" - Spider-Man: No Way Home
Spider-Man: No Way Home brings together three different actors who all played Spider-Man in three different franchises. While they all have a lot in common, only one of them has the Avengers. During the Spider-Man: No Way Home ending, one of the Peter Parkers thinks that being an Avengers sounds cool, even if he's not really sure what that means.
"Yeah, But Given The Choice Between The Archer With The Mohawk And Several Bug-Themed Crime Fighters, Or One Of The Most Powerful Magic Wielders On The Planet, It's An Easy Call." - Doctor Strange In The Multiverse Of Madness
When Doctor Strange needs magical help in Multiverse of Madness, he goes to Wanda Maximoff. While she suggests he could have looked for assistance elsewhere, he points out that most of the rest of the available heroes don't have the particular skill set he's looking for.
"I Love Being King And I Love My People, But It's All Meetings And Ravenmail And Meetings That Could Have Been Ravenmail" - Thor: Love And Thunder
At the end of Avengers: Endgame Thor hands the throne of New Asgard to Valkyrie. Overall, she seems to have adapted to the job quite well by the time of Thor: Love and Thunder, but she has the same problems with her day job that so many of us have.
"A Colonizer In Chains. Now I Have Seen Everything." - Black Panther: Wakanda Forever
In the first Black Panther, Shuri refers to Everett Ross as "Colonizer" and the nickname apparently sticks. In the sequel he's been upgraded to her "favorite colonizer," but during the Black Panther: Wakanda Forever ending, Okoye has a laugh at his expense when Ross has been arrested and she sees the handcuffs.
“Dad. A Guy Dressed Like A Bee Tried To Kill Me In My Room When I Was Six. I’ve Never Had A Normal Life..” - Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania
Cassie Lang has had an interesting life throughout the Marvel Cinematic Universe. She's all grown up by the time of Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania, but she clearly remembers where it all started for her. It's honestly surprising she's as well-adjusted as she is.
“Kill One Guy Who No One Loves.” - Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3
Drax is very willing to do violence to get his way. This even though Peter Quill tries to talk him down. Initially, Drax wants to kill everybody who gets in their way, then he tries to bargain down to killing one person that nobody likes.
“STOP RUNNING AND LET THE KITTENS EAT YOU. YOU WILL BE FINE.” - The Marvels
When Nick Fury's SA.B.E.R. headquarters needs to abandon ship quickly, during The Marvels ending, the fastest way to feed his entire staff to fuzzy little flerkins. Of course, the actual staff has a bit of a problem with this, leading to this hilarious announcement over the PA system.
The Marvel Cinematic Universe has been going for years and it's not stopping anytime soon. There are plenty of upcoming Marvel movies that will continue to provide us with great lines for years to come.