Alison Hammond on meeting Gaga, Madonna and Beyoncé: ‘We played Connect 4 – who does that?!’

Hi Alison! Was your most (adorably) embarrassing moment:

A) Mistaking a hug from Gaga for an elbow bump
B) Being the only good thing about I Can See Your Voice

I can’t say the second one: Amanda Holden’s amazing; Paddy McGuinness is incredible. The elbow bump — we’d done PCRs, so I thought she’d be really careful regarding Covid. But that’s one of the reasons she felt comfortable, so came in for the Hammond Hug. I was all over her by the end! Once I had the green light, I wouldn’t let her go!

Relatable: 5/5

Have you ever ripped the label from a piece of clothing out of sheer embarrassment?

Any piece of clothing is privileged to be on my body: Primark or Gucci, I’ve no embarrassment. I don’t know if the clothing does.

THIS is Attitude: 5/5

What should Madonna do next?

Take me for dinner. We’ve met on the red carpet — I can tell she wanted to be my best friend. If she reads this magazine — she’s a gay icon; she definitely does — she needs to hurry up and take me out. You’re so invited. We’ll go dancing.

The biopic writes itself: 5/5

Was the campest moment of your life:

A) Allowing Barry Humphries to mistake Dermot O’Leary for a gay man
B) Knocking a topless sailor into the Albert Dock while doing the weather

The sailors were topless — that was quite camp. But Dermot — that was one of the campest moments of our lives. I didn’t even have a comeback; I just laughed. The people in our ears were silent because they were gobsmacked.

Note, not ‘my’ life’, but ‘our’: 5/5

Arrange these Big Brother contestants in order of icon status: Michelle Bass, Nikki Grahame, Nadia Almada, Kim Woodburn, Alison Hammond

Alison. Nadia. Nikki. Kim. Bassy. Nadia was so authentically her, I really enjoyed watching her win. As soon as she went in, I called it. I’m sad Jade’s not there, though. She would have gone above me.

5/5

Your favourite musical?

Six. It’s all about queens [Henry VIII’s wives]. I’m a queen, I love Queen, love the Queen… You go for a history lesson, and it’s like a pop concert. It’s so much easier to learn when it’s like that!

5/5

Who’s sexiest:

The Rock, Harrison Ford, Hugh Jackman

I’m a fan of the older man, so Harrison rates highly. He gave me a kiss when the cameras stopped rolling. But Hugh’s my true love. I know he’s married, but one can dream.

A topless Harrison in Call of the Wild — woof! 5/5

How many Spice Girls have you met?

Emma, Mel B, Geri, Victoria. Emma’s the best: a girl’s girl. Geri’s lovely. She was doing This Morning and invited me and my son to watch a bit of Formula 1! I love Mel B; she’s my favourite, but wouldn’t give me a photo because she didn’t have her makeup on! I met Victoria alongside Eva Longoria: they were doing a charity night in London. She was really friendly — so smiley, which was quite shocking. When she sees I’ve spoken so highly of her, she’ll be all over Attitude. She’s got a lot of attitude.

A VB interview? Yes, please: 4/5

What are bears, otters and seals?

I don’t know. Shall I have a guess? Would a bear be the hairiest? Am I right? When you say hairy, are you talking about the nether regions?

We’re not not: 4/5

Five people you’d invite to your dream dinner party?

Oprah Winfrey. Denise Welch. Madonna. Muhammad Ali. And Denzel Washington. No. Hugh Jackman. When I met Denzel, he kept saying I looked like his sister. I don’t want to be his sister.

You know Denise would hold her own: 3/5

Can you quote a line from:

A) Mean Girls
B) The Devil Wears Prada
C) Your 2002 Big Brother stint

“I’m sorry people are so jealous of me.” “You’re wearing the sweater that was selected for you by the people in this room.” “I think I broke the table.”

So fetch! 5/5

Your proudest on-camera moment is:

A) Hand-feeding Hugh Jackman
B) Playing Connect 4 with Beyoncé
C) Pulling a newspaper out of your bra during a Tom Cruise interview

All iconic. Hugh at the top. You know, my superboobs are super, so Tom second. But playing Connect 4 with Beyoncé — who does that? She was really enjoying it. She said I let her win, and I absolutely did not. I just lost.

Alison, you’re a winner, baby: 5/5

Score: 93% attitude

She’s breathed the same air as Madonna, VB and Bey and has the Prada script memorised. We literally want to hire her.

Alison host ITV’s This Morning from 10am. This feature originally appeared in issue 345 of Attitude, published in March 2022.

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